Missy: Dad, it's not what you think. He doesn't like me like that.
George: He's a 13-year-old boy. He likes all girls like that.
Missy: He's 15, and he doesn't.
George: Fifteen?
Missy: And he really doesn't.
George: The hell does that mean? [off Missy's look] Oh.
Missy: Yeah.
George: So, he's like a... gal pal?
Missy: Bingo.
George: Okay.
Missy: So, can I go to his house and watch a movie?
George: No other boys'll be there?
Missy: Just him and me.
George: All right, then.
Missy: Thanks, Daddy.

Georgie: [v.o.] Dear Mandy, there are so many things I love about you, it's hard to know where to start. But I will. Sure, I could go on and on about your beautiful... B-E...
Georgie: Where does the dang "U" go?
Georgie: [v.o.] ... pretty... boobs. But what's more important is what's underneath: Your heart.
Georgie: Oh, yeah. That's good.
Edgar: Can I cash out?
Georgie: Oh. Sure. Hey, question...if you sneak into the bathroom to watch a woman shower, is that romantic or creepy?
Edgar: Romantic.
Georgie: That's what I thought.
Georgie: [v.o.] And when you're alone in the shower...

Meemaw: What are you doing?
Dale: W... I'm just putting nose spray in 'cause you're snoring.
Meemaw: Well, that's no reason to stick something up my nose.
Dale: I'm sorry.
Meemaw: I mean, if anybody snores, it's you. I mean, just look at that honker.
Dale: That's not very nice.
Meemaw: What's not nice is you violating my nose.
Dale: It's not gonna happen again. Hey, but listen, now that you're up, why don't we just spritz the other nostril...
Meemaw: Don't you dare!

Sheldon: [on the phone] I'm stranded in a train station in Weinheim, Germany, and I can't call Mom because I lied about...
Missy: Sorry. I'm getting another call.
Sheldon: Wait, don't... [Missy switches the call]
Missy: Hello? Oh, hi, Taylor. Nothing. What're you up to?
Sheldon: Missy! Missy? Missy... [hangs up]

Sheldon: [on the phone] I'm stranded in a train station in Weinheim, Germany, and I can't call Mom because I lied about...
Missy: Sorry. I'm getting another call.
Sheldon: Wait, don't... [Missy switches the call]
Missy: Hello? Oh, hi, Taylor. Nothing. What're you up to?
Sheldon: Missy! Missy? Missy... [hangs up]

Georgie: [v.o.] ...and not just 'cause you're naked in the shower... 'cause you're naked and all sudsy. It's like watching MTV, but in the bathroom. Well, I hope that didn't sound creepy, but you're so pretty I can't stop looking at you, even with clothes on covered with CeeCee's spit-up.
Georgie: Oh, you're reading my letter. I'll come back.
Mandy: Oh, now you want to give me privacy?
Georgie: So, it was creepy, huh?
Mandy: It was.
Georgie: Where you going?
Mandy: Well, I'm gonna go take a shower. Maybe I'll leave the door unlocked.
Georgie: Well, all right.

Mandy: [o.s.] [gasps] Oh, God!
Georgie: [o.s.] Dad, get out!
Mandy: [o.s.] Why didn't you lock the door?
Georgie: [o.s.] I didn't want to miss anything.

Mary: [v.o.] ... I've been sitting here staring at your picture, thinking about all the years we've been together and how I may have taken you for granted the last few. I do appreciate you, I do love you, and I'm sorry I don't say it enough... or say it at all. So... rest up because when I get back, I'm gonna show you how mu...

Mary: [answers phone] Hello?
Missy: Mom, it's me. I know I'm not supposed to call, but Sheldon called and said he's in trouble.
Mary: Sheldon's at the library.
Missy: No, he's not. He's stuck at a train station somewhere in Germany.
Mary: When did he call?
Missy: I don't know. Two, three hours ago...
Mary: What?!
Missy: You know, this is expensive, I should go. [hangs up]
Mary: Oh. I'm gonna kill him.