Sheldon: Can you settle an argument? I said you're fine. Darren and Oscar said you're not fine.
Paige: [scoffs] Why wouldn't I be fine? I'm completely alone, and the one person I thought would understand is having the time of his life.
Sheldon: So... just to clarify...?
Paige: They're right, you're wrong.
Sheldon: Dang it.

Sheldon: I thought you were going back to Austin?
Paige: Uh, I'm not going back. I'm gonna drop out.
Sheldon: What? Where will you go?
Paige: I was thinking here, in your dorm.
Sheldon: Here?
Paige: Well, I mean, just for a couple days until I can figure out how to tell my mom.
Sheldon: I don't know.
Paige: Please? I don't have anywhere else to go, and... as embarrassing as this is to admit... you're the only person who can help me right now.
Sheldon: [sighs] Okay.
Paige: Thanks.
Sheldon: It's the least I can do. My life is going so much better than yours.

Adult Sheldon: For many college kids, waiting in line for concert tickets is a rite of passage, and I was no different. Except, instead of rock and roll music, my concert was a lecture on black hole topology. Instead of a stage dive, I would dive into knowledge. Instead of guitar-shredding solos, I would witness universe-shredding hypotheses. And instead of a charismatic front man dazzling the audience, there would be... well, actually, the exact same thing.

Georgie: Oh, you want me to move this to the bedroom?
Mandy: It's a studio, this is the bedroom.
Georgie: Oh. [drops mattress on the floor] There you go.
Mandy: How can I ever thank you?
Georgie: Let's see... we are in the bedroom.
Mandy: What, so, like, take a nap?
Georgie: [chuckles] Maybe after.
Mandy: Deal. [they kiss]

Mary: [sighs] I appreciate you picking Missy up from school, but she does not need to hear about your love life.
Meemaw: She's got to learn sometime.
Mary: Learn what?
Meemaw: That men suck.
Mary: Not all men... do that.
Meemaw: Suck. Say it.
Mary: No.
Meemaw: I want Missy back.

George: I thought you ended things with her.
Dale: Yeah, not my fault she's okay with it.
George: You know what's better than going on and on about it?
Dale: What's that?
[cut to Dale grunting as he punches a boxing bag in the store:]
George: Come on, you can do better than that. Punch her new car. [Dale grunts] Don't forget it's yellow.
Dale: I mean, since when are cars yellow? It's not a taxi.
George: Less talking, more punching.
Dale: Can I at least have some gloves? My hands hurt.
George: Well, aren't you a tender buttercup.

Mandy: Oh, God, is that my yearbook?
Georgie: Dang, y'all had some big hair.
Mandy: You're gonna talk to me about big hair?
Georgie: You think it's big now, wait till it gets humid.

Mary: You keep saying you're okay. Are you?
Meemaw: I'm better than okay.
Mary: Great. Glad to hear it.
Meemaw: You know what it's like? You see these peanuts? Two of them stuck together in the shell. Trapped. And then, you look here at this one, all on its own. Solo. Happy.
Mary: So, you're a solo peanut?
Meemaw: Mm, damn straight. As a matter of fact... [snaps peanut in half] Enjoy your freedom.
Mary: Well, if you're happy, I'm happy.
Meemaw: I am. Maybe not as happy as this threesome going on here. [holds up peanut]
Mary: Mom.

Meemaw: And by the way, you can tell your friend Dale that I want my stuff back.
George: I'm not getting in the middle of this.
Meemaw: 'Cause I left my purple bra over at his place.
Missy: I want a purple bra.
Mary: Oh, Lord.
Meemaw: And if I'm gonna start dating again, I'm gonna need that.
George: Somebody else needs to talk.
Sheldon: Did you know that Leonard Nimoy takes pictures of...
George: Georgie?

Meemaw: So... your little girlfriend Mandy came by today, and she is pissed.
Georgie: This is what I get for telling her.
Meemaw: No, this is what you get for lying to her.
Georgie: I don't need you yelling at me, too.
Meemaw: Well, she was yelling at me, so now I'm yelling at you.
Georgie: Just because you're having men problems, please don't take it out on me.
Meemaw: ... All I'm saying is you really messed up.
Georgie: I apologized. Why are we still talking about this?
Meemaw: Georgie, just think how you'd feel if someday somebody did that to your sister.

Mary: Where you going?
George: To meet Dale at the bar. [sighs] I really don't want to hear about this relationship anymore.
Mary: At least he talks about it. My mom just wants to drink and pretend she's fine.
George: That sounds great. Hey, maybe you and I can switch. I'll-I'll finish the dishes, you go hang out with Dale.
Mary: We can't switch.
George: Sure you can. Grab your coat.

Meemaw: Georgie ain't here.
Mandy: I came to talk to you.
Meemaw: Could you please take your voice down just a notch?
Mandy: Why? You don't want anyone to hear?
Meemaw: No, I'm a little hungover.
Mandy: [shakes laundry trolley] How could you not tell me he was 17?
Meemaw: Look, I did tell him to tell you before things went too far.
Mandy: Well, they did go too far.
Meemaw: Well, I get it. Men are the worst. I'm going through stuff myself.
Mandy: We are not bonding over this!
Meemaw: Listen. Just calm down.
Mandy: Don't tell me to calm down! And good luck with your hangover. [slams dryer lid] [exits]
Meemaw: Well, that's too bad. I liked her.

Dale: Did you see Connie last night?
George: Yeah, at dinner.
Dale: She say anything about me?
George: Please leave me out of this.
Dale: Oh, come on, we're friends, George, and I'm your boss.
George: She said she wants her bra back.
Dale: Uh, the purple one that opens in the front?
George: Really don't want to hear about this.
Dale: Well, you're the one that brought it up.

Missy: Meemaw picked me up in her new car.
Meemaw: We drove with the top down. A truck driver honked at us. [chuckles]
Missy: It was awesome.
Meemaw: See? Missy loves my car. I don't know what Dale's problem is.
Missy: You're too good for him anyway.
Mary: Should she really be hearing about all this?
Missy: Mom, she just got dumped. It's what you do. Ooh, is any of his stuff at your house? Let's set it on fire.
Mary: Don't you have homework?
Missy: My grandma's hurting. She needs me.
Mary: Go.

Missy: Here you go. There's an article about what your lip gloss flavor says about you. I'm sweet and fun like a strawberry.
Sheldon: I don't care.