Ira Rosenbloom: Let me get this straight. Your boyfriend comes home from the mental hospital, he dumps you, and he suggests that you go out with me?
Meemaw: Yeah.
Ira Rosenbloom: Sounds like a spite date.
Meemaw: Well, gosh, when you say it like that, doesn't sound great.
Ira Rosenbloom: No.No, no, I'm fine with it. I just I want to make sure I got everything right.
Meemaw: Hospital, dumped, spite. You got it.
Ira Rosenbloom: All right. I hear the creamed spinach is terrific.

Georgie: How do relationships work for old people? When you were young, you didn't think old women looked hot. But now that you're old, do you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, that's a very interesting question.
Mary: Can I speak to you in the kitchen?
George: I want to hear the answer.
Dr. John Sturgis: I've always found your grandmother to be very hot stuff.
George: All right, let's go.
Georgie: But you can see her wrinkles, right?

Meemaw: So, enough about me. What's been going on in your life?
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, boy. Well, after you and I broke up, I took the opportunity to work on myself. Started playing tennis again. Uh, I-I bought a telescope, which is pretty cool because you-you got to see the Moon all big and things. And, uh, I-I tried Vietnamese food for the first time, which did not go well. Oh, very spicy. You wouldn't believe the heartburn. Not enough Tums in the world.

Meemaw: Thank you so much, Ira. I really needed this.
Ira Rosenbloom: You're welcome.
Meemaw: We should do it again. What's your Friday night look like?
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, no, Friday's no good 'cause we're doing inventory at the store.
Meemaw: Oh, okay. Well, how about the weekend?
Ira Rosenbloom: No, no, no, that's not good for me, either.
Meemaw: Are you blowing me off?
Ira Rosenbloom: Is it that obvious?
Meemaw: Well, I don't understand why. I mean, I-I thought we had a nice time.
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, we did. But you're still hung up on John, and I don't want to have my heart broken again, so I'm gonna respectfully pass.
Meemaw: Unbelievable.
Ira Rosenbloom: I know. It turns out I do have a shred of dignity. [chuckles] I'm as surprised as you are.
Meemaw: [chuckles] I'm not having a good week.

[As Missy finds Dr. Sturgis at the dinner table]
Missy: Really? This again?
Mary: Just sit.

Meemaw: Do you- I- Do you mean you-you really don't want to see me anymore? [stammers] Don't I get a say in that?
Dr. John Sturgis: Um... No.
Meemaw: Really? I-I kind of think I do.
Dr. John Sturgis: Connie, if I'm single and have another episode, it only hurts me. If we're together, that hurts you, and I can't do that again.
Meemaw: I have been waiting for you this whole time.
Dr. John Sturgis: Just more proof that you're a wonderful woman and you deserve someone you can count on.
Meemaw: Ugh!
Dr. John Sturgis: How about Ira from the furniture store? He's a catch.
Meemaw: Now you're gonna play matchmaker for me?
Dr. John Sturgis: I suppose I am.
Meemaw: You realize I could call him right now.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think you should.
Meemaw: You better mean it, 'cause I'll do it.
Dr. John Sturgis: No time like the present.
Meemaw: I'm doing it. I'm dialing.
Dr. John Sturgis: Great.
Meemaw: It's ringing.
Dr. John Sturgis: Tell him I said hi.

Missy: But if you did get a divorce, how many American Girl dolls could I get?
Mary: Your father and I aren't getting a divorce.
Missy: But more than one, right?

Meemaw: So, good news. John's coming home on Friday.
Mary: That's wonderful.
Meemaw: It is.
Mary: You must be thrilled.
Meemaw: Oh, I am.
Mary: Mm. Little nervous?
Meemaw: No. No. No.
Mary: Be understandable if you were. The man has been in a mental institution.
Meemaw: All I know is he sounded like himself on the phone, and the doctors say he's good to go.
Mary: Well, that's great.
Meemaw: It is. I'm excited.
Mary: Well, good.
Meemaw: [flatly] Very excited.
Mary: Okay.
Meemaw: I'm gonna get another beer.
Mary: 'Cause you're so excited?
Meemaw: You know it!

Mary: Just be on your best behavior. And if you're not sure if you should say something, do not say it.

Sheldon: Meemaw and Dr. Sturgis are out front. They're walking up the path. They see me. I'm waving. They waved back. They're close to the door. Even closer. Almost there. Door... [doorbell rings] Bell!

Dr. John Sturgis: It's just so wonderful to see you all again.
Mary: We've been looking forward to it.
Sheldon: We sure have. [whispering] One Mississippi, two Mississippi.
Dr. John Sturgis: Uh, why are you counting?
Mary: You know Shelly. He loves his numbers.

Sheldon: Why wasn't I allowed to visit you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Some of the other patients there were very unwell, and I didn't want you to be disturbed by their behavior.

Georgie: I got one.
Meemaw: Here we go.
Georgie: Did they lock you up in a room?
Dr. John Sturgis: I wasn't able to leave the hospital without being discharged, but I was free to walk the grounds.

Missy: How did you know when you were all better?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, it's not like a cold, where you have it and then you don't. But I've learned skills that, uh, help me to manage my mental health.
Missy: Well, that went over my head.

Dr. John Sturgis: Now that we're talking about this, um, we've never really discussed the status of our relationship.
Meemaw: Don't you worry. As far as I'm concerned, we just pick up right where we left off.
Dr. John Sturgis: That means a lot. But, um I think it's for the best if we don't.
Meemaw: What?
Dr. John Sturgis: I hope we can still be friends. But, um, I don't think we should be in a romantic relationship anymore.
Meemaw: Are you crazy? I mean, poor choice of words, but are you crazy?!