Meemaw: So, enough about me. What's been going on in your life?
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, boy. Well, after you and I broke up, I took the opportunity to work on myself. Started playing tennis again. Uh, I-I bought a telescope, which is pretty cool because you-you got to see the Moon all big and things. And, uh, I-I tried Vietnamese food for the first time, which did not go well. Oh, very spicy. You wouldn't believe the heartburn. Not enough Tums in the world.

Ira Rosenbloom: So, Sheldon, you hungry? You want a nosh?
Sheldon: I don't know, I've never eaten a nosh.
Ira Rosenbloom: (chuckling) Uh, no, a nosh isn't a thing, it's a never mind. Um, would you care for some hard candy?
Sheldon: Are they kosher?
Ira Rosenbloom: Who are you, my mother?

Meemaw: Thank you so much, Ira. I really needed this.
Ira Rosenbloom: You're welcome.
Meemaw: We should do it again. What's your Friday night look like?
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, no, Friday's no good 'cause we're doing inventory at the store.
Meemaw: Oh, okay. Well, how about the weekend?
Ira Rosenbloom: No, no, no, that's not good for me, either.
Meemaw: Are you blowing me off?
Ira Rosenbloom: Is it that obvious?
Meemaw: Well, I don't understand why. I mean, I-I thought we had a nice time.
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, we did. But you're still hung up on John, and I don't want to have my heart broken again, so I'm gonna respectfully pass.
Meemaw: Unbelievable.
Ira Rosenbloom: I know. It turns out I do have a shred of dignity. [chuckles] I'm as surprised as you are.
Meemaw: [chuckles] I'm not having a good week.

Ira Rosenbloom: I got to tell you, this is an unexpected surprise.
Meemaw: Here's to surprises.
Ira Rosenbloom: 'Cause last I heard, you and John were still going out.
Meemaw: Well, now I'm not, and I'm here with you, so let's not talk about him.
Ira Rosenbloom: Ooh. Sounds like this breakup is a little fresh.
Meemaw: Yeah, it was pretty recent.
Ira Rosenbloom: What, like, a week? Month?
Meemaw: Literally as I was calling you.
Ira Rosenbloom: Well, I'm glad that I was the first person that came to mind.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Actually, you were his idea.
Ira Rosenbloom: Still glad.

Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, thank you. That looks amazing. I love ice cream.
Meemaw: Did you know that they used to use the anal glands of beavers to make it taste like vanilla?
Ira Rosenbloom: No. Where'd you hear that?
Meemaw: It's just something I picked up along the way.
Ira Rosenbloom: You okay?
Meemaw: Yeah. Let's eat pie.
Ira Rosenbloom: And maybe not the ice cream.

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I realize being here after ending my romantic relationship with Connie is unusual. So, as before, I'm perfectly happy to answer any questions that you might have.
Missy: I have a question. Can I eat in front of the TV?
Mary: Sure.
George Jr.: Let's get back to The Shining. When them elevator doors open, oh, man.

Dr. John Sturgis: Excuse me! Everyone!
George Sr.: Oh, boy.
Dr. John Sturgis: I would like to propose a toast to George Cooper. I don't mind telling you I'm going through a bit of a rough patch, and this man went out of his way to take me here and listen to my woes. And George and I don't even know each other that well.
George Sr.: You heard it. Y'all heard it.
Dr. John Sturgis: But I just broke up with a woman. A beautiful, passionate woman. Adventurous. Sensual. Apparently, you're never too old for heartache. But tonight, I found solace in the bosom of male friendship. To George Cooper. [silence] Drinks are on me!
All: To George Cooper! [cheers]