Adult Sheldon: After a quick burial behind the bar, we were back on the road. Dr. Sturgis tried to find some appropriate music for a proper send-off. Three Christian talk shows and a whole lot of static later, he settled on what he declared the Dixieland jazz of West Texas. ["El Son de la Negra / Guadalajara" playing] Mariachi.
Dr. John Sturgis: Vaya con dios, armadillo. Vaya con dios.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Pastor Jeff: Before our final prayer, would anyone else like to say a few words?
Mary: Missy? [Missy shakes her head] Shelly?
[Sheldon stands up and walks up to the microphone]
Sheldon: I've been thinking a lot about the last moments I had with my dad. It was morning, and he was leaving for work. He said, "See y'all later." And I said nothing. I regret that. I could have said "bye" or asked him for a ride. Or told him that I loved him. But I didn't. I barely noticed he left. So many times that I didn't notice my father. I hope he knew how much I loved him.
Adult Sheldon: I wish I could tell you I said all those things. But I didn't.
Mary: Shelly? [Sheldon shakes his head] [Mary shakes her head to Pastor Jeff]
Pastor Jeff: Let's bow our heads in prayer.
All: Our Father, who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name...
Adult Sheldon: For a long time, I focused on my father's shortcomings. Now that I'm his age and have kids of my own, I realize he was just a person doing the best he could, and he did a lot. I didn't say it at his funeral, but I can say it now. I loved my father. I will miss him forever.

Dr. John Sturgis: Societal norms are different on road trips. Normally, I don't eat junk food, but here, it's tradition. I'm not even sure what a chicharron is.
Sheldon: It's the deep-fried skin of a pig.
Dr. John Sturgis: That seems like something they should say on the bag.

Pat: Look, you seem like nice folk, but Yankees ain't popular around here. I suggest you be on your way.
Dr. Linkletter: Sorry to have troubled you. Let's go.
Sheldon: Excuse me. My colleagues may be from the North, but for your information, I'm a Texan, born and bred. I know that real chili has no beans, and when my meemaw says, "Bless your heart," she means something very different. Now, my friend here is in need of help, and since our state motto is literally "friendship," may he please use your phone?
Pat: Well, dang. [puts the phone on the bar]
Dr. John Sturgis: And could I trouble you for a yellow pages?
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, boy.

Dr. John Sturgis: I'm doing it. This is going quite well.
Dr. Linkletter: Feel free to pick up the pace. A butterfly just passed us.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, what's the speed limit?
Sheldon: 75.
Dr. John Sturgis: And I'm going... ten. I'll pick up the pace.