Mary: It's just... Your mother's trying to get you to do things her way, and I... want you to have the wedding that you want.
Mandy: Which would be the wedding that you want.
Mary: Or do we want the same thing?
[George stammers and jestures with his fork as he stops Georgie from intervening]
Mandy: Spit it out, Mary.
Mary: [sighs] Your mother is insisting that you get married in the Catholic church.
Mandy: And you want us to get married in the Baptist church.
Mary: It's an option, but anywhere is fine.
Mandy: Is it?
Georgie: Yeah, but you can't drink and dance at a Baptist wedding.
Mary: Was I talking to you?
George: [whispers] Dumbass.

Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

[After Sheldon storms off with his upgraded computer:]
Jim: He gonna be okay?
George: Oh. Tonight, sure. Big picture? [shrugs]
Adult Sheldon: I've got a hot wife and a Nobel Prize. I turned out fine.

Mary: [on the phone] Hi, Pastor Jeff. Can you come over right now? I need you to save someone's soul.
[Cut to Mary opening the front door to Pastor Jeff, who is holding his bible:]
Pastor Jeff: Whose soul needs saving? Is it Sheldon? I've been waiting for this.
Mary: No. We're still praying for him. Come in, we don't have much time.

Georgie: It's for my daughter. Mom baptized her in the kitchen sink, and Mandy's mom did it in a Catholic church.
Sheldon: Sure. Baptists versus Catholics. Much blood was shed over that in the 1500s.