Ira Rosenbloom: John, you're a great guy.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, you, too!
Ira Rosenbloom: But I hope you understand, I just I can't give up on Connie.
Dr. John Sturgis: That's all right. To tell you the truth, I'm finding the competition quite exhilarating.
Ira Rosenbloom: You are?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, yes. The night the dinette set arrived, I did my first push-up in 40 years.
Ira Rosenbloom: I'm sorry, but I find that to be, uh- What's the word, Astro-boobulous?
Dr. John Sturgis: Ostrobogulous.
Ira Rosenbloom: Ostrobogulous.
Dr. John Sturgis: Exactly.

Ira Rosenbloom: So, Sheldon, you hungry? You want a nosh?
Sheldon: I don't know, I've never eaten a nosh.
Ira Rosenbloom: (chuckling) Uh, no, a nosh isn't a thing, it's a never mind. Um, would you care for some hard candy?
Sheldon: Are they kosher?
Ira Rosenbloom: Who are you, my mother?

Meemaw: Thank you so much, Ira. I really needed this.
Ira Rosenbloom: You're welcome.
Meemaw: We should do it again. What's your Friday night look like?
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, no, Friday's no good 'cause we're doing inventory at the store.
Meemaw: Oh, okay. Well, how about the weekend?
Ira Rosenbloom: No, no, no, that's not good for me, either.
Meemaw: Are you blowing me off?
Ira Rosenbloom: Is it that obvious?
Meemaw: Well, I don't understand why. I mean, I-I thought we had a nice time.
Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, we did. But you're still hung up on John, and I don't want to have my heart broken again, so I'm gonna respectfully pass.
Meemaw: Unbelievable.
Ira Rosenbloom: I know. It turns out I do have a shred of dignity. [chuckles] I'm as surprised as you are.
Meemaw: [chuckles] I'm not having a good week.

Ira Rosenbloom: I got to tell you, this is an unexpected surprise.
Meemaw: Here's to surprises.
Ira Rosenbloom: 'Cause last I heard, you and John were still going out.
Meemaw: Well, now I'm not, and I'm here with you, so let's not talk about him.
Ira Rosenbloom: Ooh. Sounds like this breakup is a little fresh.
Meemaw: Yeah, it was pretty recent.
Ira Rosenbloom: What, like, a week? Month?
Meemaw: Literally as I was calling you.
Ira Rosenbloom: Well, I'm glad that I was the first person that came to mind.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Actually, you were his idea.
Ira Rosenbloom: Still glad.

Adult Sheldon: In that moment, I had an epiphany. I could draw up a contract for any social relationship. It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity in a world that was often hard to understand. Article three Sheldon will not spy on Meemaw's house with binoculars.

Adult Sheldon: I would go on to draw up such contracts throughout my life. With roommates. With my wife. Even with my own children.

Mary: And is that really necessary?
Meemaw: The Italians call it "corretto". It means correcting the drink.
Mary: So, a drink without alcohol in it is wrong?
Meemaw: Yep. Italian people, they know what's up.