Meemaw: I tell you what, after practice today, you and me will do somethin' fun.
Missy: Can I have my first cigarette?
Meemaw: No!
Missy: Can I get my ears pierced?
Meemaw: Your mom won't like that. So, maybe.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

Sheldon: Dad, the university offered to pay for us to go to California! They're even putting us up in a hotel.
George: You're kidding.
Missy: We're going to California?
Sheldon: No, just me and Dad.
Missy: That's fair. I'm so happy for you.
Adult Sheldon: Sometimes sarcasm was laid on so thick even I could detect it.
Sheldon: Thanks!
Adult Sheldon: This was not one of those times.

Sheldon: Dad, good news. Airline tickets to California are more affordable than you think.
George: Sheldon, we're not going.
Mary: What's all this about?
Sheldon: Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture at Caltech. If we leave on Wednesday and are willing to make four layovers, in Boise, Denver, Albuquerque and Fargo, we can get there for only $95 each.

George: I have a job. I can't just leave in the middle of the week.
Sheldon: Well, then what about Mom?
Mary: Sorry, Shelly, we're not in a position to do this.
Sheldon: But Stephen Hawking's my hero. Imagine if you got a chance to see Jesus or Dad got to meet the man who invented beer.