Mary: Hey, Missy, you awake? [knocks] It's Pancake Sunday.
Missy: [opens door] What's that?
Mary: Well, it's a fun new thing I thought we could... Where are you going?
Missy: I told you. Six Flags with Jamie's family.
Mary: Oh. Well, I could make you pancakes first.
Missy: Pancakes and roller coasters? Do you want me to barf?
Mary: Well, no.

Mary: Oh, hey. I didn't know you were working tonight.
Brenda Sparks: I'm not. Just meeting some friends.
Mary: Oh, that's nice.
Brenda Sparks: Yep.
Mary: Oh, so, I was just getting off work myself.
Brenda Sparks: Oh. Have a good one.
Mary: Well, uh, so, friends from high school, or...?
Brenda Sparks: More like a bunch of gals that used to be married, used to be in Weight Watchers, and now just come here to drink and bitch about their lives.

George: What's all this?
Mary: Well... I thought that we could have a new family tradition: Pancake Sundays. I got all the fixings. You can pick what you want. We got chocolate chips, blueberries.
George: I wish I'd known, honey. I made an early tee time with Wayne.
Mary: What? Well, wouldn't you rather spend the day with your family?
George: Of course. [stammers] He's going through a divorce, you know. He needs this.
Mary: I guess, sure.
George: How about this? I'll take some bacon for the road.
Mary: Why don't you bring some for Wayne, too?
George: Good idea. Can I take the plate?
Mary: Go ahead.

Amber: Excuse me. Do you have a recommendation?
Georgie: Well, you can never go wrong with John Candy. But, and this is just one man's opinion, Pauly Shore is a comedy god.
Amber: Really?
Georgie: You may pee your pants. And if you do, there's a Laundromat right next door.
Amber: [laughs] Well, I will watch this and let you know.

Mary: Well, I'm sure we can come up with something else.
Meemaw: Well, hang on. When did we become a threesome?
Mary: You don't want to hang out with me?
Meemaw: Well, I do, but he's not crazy about you.
Dale: Well, that's not true.
Meemaw: Well, then, it looks like you got a fishing buddy.
Mary: I don't really want to go fishing.
Dale: Boy, that was a close one.

Amber: You got any other recommendations?
Georgie: Well, there-there is a Mexican restaurant down the street that's pretty good.
Amber: I do like Mexican food.
Georgie: Hmm, we should go there sometime.
Amber: I'm free tomorrow.
Georgie: Cool. It's a date! Sorry. That was a little loud. I'm just excited. For our date!

Missy: You need to leave.
Mary: Why?
Missy: 'Cause you're embarrassing me.
Mary: [scoffs] Everyone knows you have a mother.
Missy: Please.
Mary: Fine, if you don't want me here, I'll go.
Missy: I promise I'll do anything you want this weekend.
Mary: Okay.
Missy: Just not here or near anyone I know.
Mary: [flatly] Can't wait.
Missy: Love you, bye.

Amber: But my dream car is a Mustang.
Georgie: Oh, really? I used to have one.
Amber: And you traded it in for this? Why?
Georgie: Well-well... ...I had my reasons.
Amber: Oh, you wanted to look like a soccer mom?
Georgie: No. It's- It's good for hauling stuff.
Amber: Ah, and they were all sold out of trucks?
Georgie: No, I just needed...
Amber: Something big to carry your purse?

Georgie: You know that girl at the video store?
Amber: The giant, pregnant one?
Georgie: Yeah. [looks at Amber]
Amber: No.
Georgie: Yeah.
Amber: So, you two are...
Georgie: No. We're having a baby, but we're not together. In fact, she's the one who told me I should ask you out.
Amber: Well, that's not weird.
Georgie: Really?
Amber: No, it's weird.

Amber: Since we're being so honest, I should tell you... I didn't really think Pauly Shore was funny.
Georgie: What?
Amber: Yeah. I just said it 'cause I wanted to talk to you again.
Georgie: [smiles] So, I didn't scare you off?
Amber: Look, it's strange, but I've got stuff, too.
Georgie: Like what?
Amber: Well, I can't believe I'm saying this on a first date, but I'm going through a divorce.
Georgie: Huh. I'm sorry. How long were you married?
Amber: A year.
Georgie: Ooh, a whole year. Sounds like you really gave it a try. [Amber laughs] Do you still have feelings for him?
Amber: Do you still have feelings for her?
Georgie: Mm, I asked you first.
Amber: It's complicated.
Georgie: Boy, is it. I went to two full-grown men for advice. Neither of 'em had a clue.

Helen: All right, Mary, you're up.
Mary: Oh, no. I don't have any good stories.
Jill: Oh, come on, you're married. You're the only one of us getting any.
Brenda Sparks: Really? That's what we're talking about? Married people sex?
Mary: Well, George and I have been... connecting more lately.
Jill & Helen: Ooh!
Jill: Details. Now.
Mary: No, no, no, I can't.

Helen: Oh, come on. It's bad enough this one's got her secret boyfriend she won't tell us about.
Mary: [gasps] Brenda Sparks. How do I not know this?
Brenda Sparks: First of all, I'm not Brenda Sparks anymore.
Jill: Oh, don't go changing the subject.
Brenda Sparks: And... there's no one.
Helen: She's lying. There's some guy that she was sweet on, but she won't give us any info.
Jill: [whispers] I think he's married.
Helen: Mm-hmm. [Mary gasps]
Brenda Sparks: He's not.
Helen: Oh, interesting. I thought there was no one.
Jill & Helen: Ooh...!

Meemaw: Second thoughts?
Mandy: [sighs] I mean, if it wasn't for the baby, I never would've seen him again.
Meemaw: But there is a baby.
Mandy: Yeah. And he's been so great. And I keep pushing him away and pushing him away, and... he's still there every time I need him. What the hell am I doing, sending him off with another woman?
Meemaw: Yeah.
Mandy: No, I'm asking you.
Meemaw: Oh, um, all right.
Mandy: Well?!
Meemaw: Give me a minute.

Mary: I did what you said and I made some new friends.
George: Well, good for you. Who?
Mary: Brenda, Jill, and, ooh, either Helen or Ellen, but I missed my window to make sure. [laughs]
George: Sounds fun.
Mary: It was. Oh... [gasps] and get this, I got dirt.
George: Ooh, what kind of dirt?
Mary: Brenda has a secret man that she is hiding from everybody. [chuckles]
George: Really?
Mary: And he might be married.
George: [chuckling] Really? Well, who do you think it is?
Mary: Oh, I don't know, but me and the gals are gonna find out. [George chuckles]

George: What the hell, Brenda?
Brenda Sparks: What the hell, what?
George: Your friends all know about your "secret boyfriend"?
Brenda Sparks: You think that's you?
George: Well... it's not?
Brenda Sparks: No, George.
George: Well, who is it?
Brenda Sparks: I didn't tell them. I'm not gonna tell you.
George: Okay.
Brenda Sparks: Oh, God. Are you upset that there might be another guy in the picture?
George: No.
Brenda Sparks: Good. Go home to your wife.
George: I will.
Brenda Sparks: Okay. [George exits] [chickens clucking] Shut up.