Georgie: Hey. You said if I ever had a problem, I could come to you, right?
George: Yeah, of course.
Georgie: Not to mention, you got all bent out of shape when I asked Dale for advice instead of you.
George: I didn't get all bent out of shape.
Georgie: That ain't what Dale said.
George: You want my advice or what?

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
Georgie: That was a big part of my defense.

Sheldon: Since when is it Pancake Sunday?
Mary: Since today.
Sheldon: No, it's not. It's Kellogg's Bran Buds Sunday, like it's been for the past three years.
Mary: Well, I thought it would be fun. I'll- I'll make you any kind of pancake you want.
Sheldon: On Bran Buds Sunday?
Mary: Fine. I'll put Bran Buds in the pancakes.
Sheldon: That could work.
[cut to Mary watching Sheldon eat at the kitchen table:]
Sheldon: [mouth full] It doesn't work. [spits out food]

Sheldon: Mom.
Mary: [wakes up] What is it, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I know you had some questions about Star Trek, so I've compiled a detailed guide outlining all the shows, characters, and how they fit in a timeline.
Mary: Can we do this later? I've got a headache.
Sheldon: Unfortunately not. If we don't do it now, you'll be completely lost when we watch The Animated Series this afternoon.
Mary: Just 20 more minutes.
Sheldon: Mom, this is almost a hundred pages. We have to get started. In the 23rd century, alien races from around the galaxy have come together to form the United Federation of Planets, which is... open your eyes... Headquartered in San Francisco.

Mary: Oh. I didn't realize my mom had company.
Dale: Yeah. Uh, do I have to pretend I didn't spend the night here, or...? I don't know how this works.
Mary: It's fine, uh... you could've said nothing, but now I know.
Dale: Yeah. What's with the pancakes?
Mary: Oh, I made extra, so I was just bringing 'em by.
Meemaw: [o.s.] Who's at the door?
Dale: It's Mary! She knows I slept with you. Come on in.