Mary: Shelly? Shelly? Everything okay?
Sheldon: [nasally voice] Hunky-dory. Why?
Mary: Well, you're kind of dressed like you kidnapped yourself.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm trying to block out sensory input. I hit a roadblock determining whether virtual particles have a fixed mass or violate momentum conservation. But then I remembered that Nikola Tesla believed that isolation is where ideas are born.
Mary: Who's Nikola Tesla?
Sheldon: One of the most prolific scientists of the 20th century.
Mary: Okay. And, um just out of curiosity, how isolated was he?
Sheldon: Oh, highly. He found human contact revolting.
Mary: [sigh] Well, that's kind of a lonely way to live, don't you think?
Sheldon: Well, he wasn't entirely alone. At the end of his life, he became good friends with a brown pigeon.

Adult Sheldon: Some people are just natural-born worriers. My mother, for example, could whip herself into a frenzy even if I were sitting on my bed doing nothing.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, turn off that fakakta game and go to sleep.

Beverly Hofstadter: Leonard, dear, you should be in bed.

Adult Sheldon: A primary feature of quarks is that they're always bonded together, but in that moment, I felt like a neutrino, destined to be alone forever.
[Montage of young Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard, Bernadette and Amy at that moment]
Adult Sheldon: Thankfully, I was wrong.

Mary: How's it going, baby?
Sheldon: I don't think anyone's showing up, not even Tam.
Mary: I'm here.
Sheldon: Yeah, but you're my mom. You live on the premises. At least Dr. Sturgis should be here any minute.
Mary: Shelly, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis isn't coming this morning.
Sheldon: Why not?
Mary: He isn't feeling well.
Sheldon: Oh, dear. Should we send him a get well card?
Mary: I think that'd be terrific.

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello.
Meemaw: What- What're you doing?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was doing tai chi and then I realized that I was continually being bombarded by subatomic particles and it behooves me, perhaps, to pay slightly closer attention to them. Maybe "chi" is the ancient Chinese word for the subatomic universe.
Meemaw: You're scaring me, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, there's nothing to be scared of. Tomorrow, somebody will win the Nobel Prize about these particles not me. But I'm experiencing them firsthand [LAUGHS] which could be better.
Meemaw: Why don't you come down and experience them on the floor?
Dr. John Sturgis: I think I just felt a neutrino. [LAUGHING] You know, neutrinos are interesting. They never bond with anything, they're always alone. I think that one went right through my pants.
Meemaw: All right, why don't we go downstairs, and I'll fix us both a nice cup of hot tea and you can tell me all about it. Please?
Dr. John Sturgis: Okay. It was my dream to win the Nobel, and I'm not going to. I bet Sheldon will.
Meemaw: That'll be something.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah.

George Sr.: Well, look at that, there's boobies on my TV.
Missy: Ooh!
George Sr.: Get out of here!
Missy: I'm telling Mom!

George Jr.: A bill? Really?
George Sr.: Room and board, buddy.
George Jr.: $50 a month for food?
George Sr.: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
George Jr.: Laundry services?
George Sr.: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
George Jr.: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George Sr.: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Dr. Linkletter: Hello?
Meemaw: Hello, Dr. Linkletter. This is Connie Tucker.
Dr. Linkletter: Connie, how lovely to hear from you.
Meemaw: Stop. I'm worried about John. He was supposed to be here for dinner and he never showed up.
Dr. Linkletter: That's not good. He also missed two of his classes today.
Meemaw: Do you have any idea where he might be?
Dr. Linkletter: Hard to say. If he's having another episode, he could be anywhere.
Meemaw: Hold on, what do you mean "episode"?
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, I thought you knew. In the past, John has struggled with his grip on reality.
Meemaw: What kind of struggle are we talking about?
Dr. Linkletter: The kind where he's had to be hospitalized.
Meemaw: Well, he never said anything about that to me.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I certainly wouldn't fabricate such a story.
Meemaw: Okay, look, I-if-if you hear from him or see him, please let me know. Of course.
Dr. Linkletter: Now, if down the road things don't work out with you two, I'd love to-
Meemaw: Good-bye.

Sheldon: I bet you don't even know the first thing about Sweden.
Missy: Well, you're wrong, it's where those little meatballs come from. And that chef on The Muppets. That's two things. Oh, and it's in Canada. That's three.

Missy: You know what I like about you, Sheldon? You're incredibly smart, but you're also really dumb.
Sheldon: Why would you say that?
Missy: You think people are gonna come here to hang out with you?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: To hear about science?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: On the radio?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: At 5:00 in the morning?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: And you're asking me why you're dumb?
Sheldon: Well, I happen to have a little more faith in the curiosity of my fellows.
Missy: See, you sound smart, but you're still dumb.

George Sr.: TV's asking me for some kind of code.
George Jr.: Yeah, that's the parental control lock.
George Sr.: So how do I take it off?
George Jr.: You don't. This is my cable that I bought with my money.
George Sr.: You got to be kidding me.
George Jr.: Here's an idea, how about you go read a book?
George Sr.: Oh, this isn't over, little man. Not by a long shot!

Sheldon: You'll be amazed to know that the Nobel Prize, while being the most prestigious award in science, is not generally celebrated in this country. No parades, no fireworks.
Which is why I thought having a breakfast celebration was not only appropriate, but long overdue. You may have noticed that I went with Cheerios, and believe me, it was a decision that I came to after careful consideration. There were birds on the Froot Loops, Cocoa Puffs and Corn Flakes, so they were out. And leprechauns and elves are magical creatures that would be a slap in the face to the scientific community. Anyway, the festivities begin at 4:30 a.m. You're most welcome to come. As are you, unhappy bag boy.

Meemaw: Come here. I want to show you something. [leading Mary into the bathroom] Look at this. John did it. [pulling back the shower curtain to reveal an equation scribbled on the wall]
Mary: Oh, dear.
Meemaw: "Oh, dear" is right.
Mary: Was he in here taking a bath and just started thinking about science stuff?
Meemaw: Read the top right part.
Mary: "Time plus heat plus bread equals toast."
Meemaw: [whispering] That ain't science.
Mary: Well, it's not wrong, either.
Meemaw: Look at this.
Mary: Yeah, well, that's peculiar.

George Sr.: Since when do we get MTV?
George Jr.: Since I got cable.
George Sr.: What do you mean, you got cable?
George Jr.: I called up the cable company and I said, "Hello, I'd like cable," and they put in cable.
George Sr.: I'm not paying for that.
George Jr.: Keep your shirt on. I paid for it.
George Sr.: Is that so?
George Jr.: Yeah, with money I saved from my job.
George Sr.: Well, okay. So do we get any of those movie channels?
George Jr.: Dad, I'm trying to watch the news.

Dr. John Sturgis: Connie. What are you doing here?
Meemaw: Well, I got a call from your friend Linkletter, and, uh I-I was a little worried about you.
Dr. John Sturgis: What did he say?
Meemaw: That you had some kind of scuffle with the campus security?
Dr. John Sturgis: No scuffle. I was using the university's mainframe, and they asked me to leave. Simple as that.
Meemaw: So nobody chased you?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was startled, and so I did what any normal person does under the circumstances: climb out a window and run like the dickens.

Sheldon: I could offer an assortment of breakfast cereal.
Tam: My mom doesn't let me have cereal with sugar in it. Or anything that makes me happy.

Sheldon: What kind of snacks do you think I should serve at my Nobel gathering?
Tam: It's on Swedish radio. How about Swedish meatballs?
Sheldon: But it's at 5:00 a.m.
Tam: Swedish breakfast balls?

Meemaw: Hello?
Dr. Linkletter: Hi, Connie, this is Dr. Linkletter. I work in the physics department with Dr. Sturgis.
Meemaw: Oh, sure, I remember you. What can I do for you?
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I'm just calling to let you know that John is fine, but there's been a bit of an incident at the school today.
Meemaw: What happened?
Dr. Linkletter: He broke into the mainframe computer lab, tripped off an alarm. Security came, and there was a chase.
Meemaw: A chase?
Dr. Linkletter: It was a short one. He's not a fast man.
Meemaw: Uh, well, where is he now?
Dr. Linkletter: He's in the dean's office. He has you listed as the emergency contact, so I just wanted to let you know.
Meemaw: Well, uh thank you so much for calling.
Dr. Linkletter: My pleasure. If there's anything I can do, feel free to reach out. Or if you'd like to go grab a coffee sometime, I know a cute little cafe. Do you like scones?
Meemaw: You're not actually trying to hit on me right now, are you?
Dr. Linkletter: Is it working?
Meemaw: No. I should go.