[future:]
Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, I know you're not a fan of sports, but it would mean so much to Leonard to have his father in the stands supporting him.
Adult Sheldon: He knows I love him, despite his foolish and embarrassing hobby.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, it is not a hobby...
Adult Sheldon: End of discussion.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Do not tell...
Adult Sheldon: End!
Amy Farrah Fowler: March your cute behind upstairs and get in that shower.
Adult Sheldon: Fine. But that doesn't mean I'm going. It means I value good hygiene.

[future:]
Adult Sheldon: I gazed lovingly at her. I thought about how much she had been through and how much this would mean to her and then I said... "Not a chance, lady." Pulitzer.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I thought you were taking a shower.
Adult Sheldon: I thought I was, too, but the muse had other plans. What are you wearing?
Amy Farrah Fowler: It's a hockey jersey. Here, I got you one.
Adult Sheldon: I'm not wearing this silly thing.
Amy Farrah Fowler: When I first met you, you bought all of your shirts from a comic book store.
Adult Sheldon: And I'd still be wearing them if they hadn't mysteriously disappeared.

Sheldon: Where are you going?
Mary: To the cemetery to visit your dad. [sighs] I don't suppose you want to join me?
Sheldon: He's not there.
Mary: I know he's not there, he's in heaven. Because he got baptized.
Sheldon: Hmm. Kudos on the rhetorical ambush. Although, if he's in heaven, why are you going to the cemetery? Ha, gotcha.
Mary: Sheldon, if you don't believe in baptism, what's the harm?
Sheldon: The harm? You're asking me to get in a big tub of un-chlorinated human filth.
Mary: Peg cleans it.
Sheldon: Does she?
Mary: Peg says she cleans it. And if that is what is stopping you, I will personally scrub it out.
Sheldon: Mother, I can't be a hypocrite. This ritual is just superstitious nonsense to make you feel better.
Mary: And you taking all your things to college isn't just to make you feel better?
Sheldon: [scoffs] You are on your game today.
Mary: That mean you'll get baptized?

Mary: Hey, what ya doing?
Sheldon: Packing my things for California.
Mary: You're taking your toy trains?
Sheldon: They're not toys. They're historically accurate facsimiles.
Mary: They go "woo woo" when you press the button, right?
Sheldon: They're not joyless facsimiles.

Mandy: Look, I just want to say I'm- I'm really sorry for what you're going through.
Missy: People keep saying they're sorry. It's so stupid.
Mandy: Okay. I'm sorry. [off Missy's look] Sorry. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need anything. I mean, after all, we are sisters... in-law.
Missy: Anything? Like a dad who's not dead and a mom who's not crazy?
Mandy: Okay, now, crazy moms, that one I know. I actually have the Girl Scout badge. [laughs]
Missy: [scoffs] I can't talk to her about anything. It's all about Jesus and God, and now, she wants me to get baptized.
Mandy: Come on, I mean, she's going through a tough time, too. [off Missy's look] Sorry. Okay, that's the last one, all right? I'm sorry. Sorry.

[As Georgie takes a bag out to the trash can, he finds Mary crying in her prayer garden]
Georgie: You okay?
Mary: [sniffles] I'm fine. Just talking with God.
Georgie: He say something to upset you? 'Cause I'll give him what for.
Mary: Georgie, that is disrespectful.
Georgie: Sorry. Just trying to cheer you up.
Mary: If you really want to cheer me up, help convince your brother and sister to get baptized.
Georgie: I already told them I did it.
Mary: You treated it like it was a joke. Everyone in this family is treating it like it's a joke and it's not.
Georgie: Okay. Sorry to interrupt.

Mandy: Hey, uh, why don't we get out of here and do something?
Missy: Like what?
Mandy: I don't know, something fun.
Missy: Can we go to a bar?
Mandy: No.
Missy: Tattoo parlor?
Mandy: No.
Missy: Do you even know what fun is anymore?
Mandy: No.

Mandy: Hey. What you watching?
Missy: Nothing.
Mandy: Where's your mom?
Missy: I don't know. Probably church. Again.
Mandy: Yeah, I guess she's been a little extra...
Missy: Nutty?
Mandy: Religious.
Missy: She dragged me to church three times this week. You know who goes to church on Thursdays?
Mandy: Who?
Missy: Losers.
Mandy: Sorry.

Mandy: So, tell me about this girl you kissed.
Georgie: Can we please talk about something else?
Mandy: Fine.
Sheldon: Her name was Veronica Duncan, and he was madly in love with her for years.
Georgie: End of discussion.
Missy: She kind of looked like you.
Sheldon: Except taller and younger.
Missy: Mm-hmm.

Mary: Okay, enough changing the subject. You two are getting baptized, and that is the end of the discussion.
Missy: You can't make us.
Mary: End of discussion.

Georgie: It ain't no big deal. I did it.
Mandy: Really?
Missy: Yeah, he kissed a girl in the tub, and she punched him in the face.
Mandy: Really?
Georgie: I'm gonna say pepper's one of the secret spices. That leaves ten.

Mary: [sighs] There's something I have been thinking about that I would like you kids to consider. I want you both to get baptized.
Sheldon: [clears throat] This is some good chicken. [to Mandy] See how I changed the subject when Mom made it awkward?
Mary: No, I am serious. This is important. It is about saving your souls.
Sheldon: I'm not doing it.
Missy: Me neither.

Georgie: If I sit in it, will you please stop talking about it?
Sheldon: I suppose so.
Georgie: Fine.
[Georgie stands up, picks up his drink and plate, and heads over to the head of the table. He places his plate down and goes to grab the chair.]
Mary: No.
Missy: Don't do it.
Mandy: Stop!
Georgie: [sighs] Thank you. [returns to his seat]

Sheldon: Mandy, did you change the topic to fried chicken because my topic was awkward?
Mandy: I did.
Sheldon: And is it awkward that I'm bringing it up again?
Mandy: It's getting there.
Sheldon: It's not a magic chair, anyone can sit there, and even if spirits existed, which they don't, they can't call dibs on furniture.

Mandy: Chicken's good, Mary.
Mary: Thank the Colonel. I wasn't up to cooking.
Georgie: 11 herbs and spices. It's a delicious mystery.