Latest Quotes

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Billy Sparks: Did you know Superman has a dog? His name is Krypto. He plays fetch in space.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Sheldon: I introduced them. Her math skills are dreadful.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Tam: Hey, Georgie. I saw you talking to Veronica Duncan.
George Jr.: Yeah. So?
Tam: How well do you know her?
George Jr.: Not as well as I'm gonna.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Tam: You see a large red button. What do you do?
Billy Sparks: I press it. The floor opens up and you plunge into a 60-foot pit.
Billy Sparks: I fly out. Up, up, and away!
Sheldon: Again, you're not Superman in this game; you're Superman for Halloween.
Tam: Which isn't till next week.
Billy Sparks: So I'm in a pit.
Tam: You're in a pit.
Billy Sparks: Then I blast my way out with my super breath! [BLOWING]
Sheldon: Just let him do it.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mary: I can't believe this.
George Sr.: No good?
Mary: It's awful. It makes sin seem like a good thing.
George Sr.: Well, that's the problem, isn't it? I mean, if sin didn't seem like a good thing, nobody would do it.
Mary: George, please, I'm in no mood.
George Sr.: Hey. Wrath. That's one of the seven sins, right?
Mary: Pastor Jeff gave me this project because he knew I'd be best at it. Now Gene Lundy is taking over.
George Sr.: Oh, look, pride. And envy. Don't stop. Four sins to go. I'm guessing lust ain't happening tonight.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mr. Lundy: Now, the script calls for me to appear from beneath the house in a cloud of smoke.
But I think that's gonna be ambitious.
Mary: Script? What script?
Mr. Lundy: Oh, I wrote a script. Don't worry about it.
Mary: I was gonna write the script.
Mr. Lundy: Well, now you don't have to.
Mary: Do you believe this?
Meemaw: Believe it, love it, glad I didn't wait in the car.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mary: So, what do you think?
Mr. Lundy: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Spiderwebs.
Mary: What?
Mr. Lundy: We're gonna need some spiderwebs and I think maybe some fire effects on the left and right side of the portal.
Mary: Portal?
Mr. Lundy: Portal to hell.
Mary: [CHUCKLING] Sure, sure.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mr. Lundy: Greetings!
Mary: Oh, good! Mr. Lundy, you made it.
Mr. Lundy: Oh, we're gonna be working together. You can call me Gene.
Mary: All right, Gene, this is my mother, Connie.
Mr. Lundy: Hi.
Meemaw: Hello.
Mr. Lundy: Now, I would've bet she was your big sister.
Meemaw: I thought you said he was a good actor.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Meemaw: Look at you, just wheeling and dealing like a big-time Hollywood producer. Maybe you're in the wrong business.
Mary: Being a mother?
Meemaw: Being a Christian.
Mary: Ah.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mary: What do you think? Pretty great, huh? Realtor's letting us use it for free.
Meemaw: Wow. How'd you swing that?
Mary: Well, I promised Fred Murphy a lead role in the lust room.
Meemaw: Ooh.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Veronica: Hey. What's up?
Sheldon: This is my brother Georgie. He wanted to meet you.
Veronica: Really?
George Jr.: Really.
Veronica: I like your hair.
George Jr.: Uh, me, too.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mr. Lundy: Um, have you considered a narrator, you know, um, like, a tour guide kind of thing?
Mary: Oh, that's interesting. But who would that be?
Mr. Lundy: Well, I'd have to think the big man himself.
Mary: God?
Mr. Lundy: Satan.
Mary: Oh! That's spooky. And he's trying to lure people toward sin.
Mr. Lundy: Exactly.
Mary: That's a pretty big role. I wonder who could do it.
Mr. Lundy: Huh. Well, it would have to be someone with enough range to convey sincerity and charm, all the while, hiding a dark and corrupt soul!
Mary: Good golly. If you were just a little taller, you'd be perfect.
Mr. Lundy: I have lifts.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mary: Um, I was hoping to put on a little play in each of the rooms that portrays one of the seven deadly sins.
Mr. Lundy: Pride, envy, gluttony, lust, sloth, wrath and greed!
Mary: Wow, you know your sins!
Mr. Lundy: Well, again, I'm an actor. They are the tools in my box.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mary: As I told you on the phone, I have been tasked with mounting this year's Halloween production.
Mr. Lundy: Oh, is that a haunted house kind of deal?
Mary: Yes, but with the goal of bringing people to God.
Mr. Lundy: I do know something about that. When I played Puck in Midsummer, the Tulsa Herald called my performance heavenly.
Mary: Wow! Good for you.
Mr. Lundy: Thank you, thank you.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mary: Thank you again for letting me come by to pick your brain.
Mr. Lundy: Oh, please. Anything for the church.
Mary: Are you a religious man?
Mr. Lundy: I'm an actor. I'm whatever you need me to be.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Mr. Lundy: Now, remember, next week, we start our work on Streetcar Named Desire. So please prepare a monologue for either Blanche or Stanley. Usually, the girls do Blanche and the boys do Stanley, but no judgment. You follow your heart.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

George Jr.: You just need to introduce me to her.
Sheldon: Why?
George Jr.: I want to be her friend.
Sheldon: Well, you better take a number. She's friends with a lot of boys around here.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

George Jr.: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh. Hi, Georgie.
George Jr.: Why was Veronica Duncan hugging you?
Sheldon: I'm tutoring her in trigonometry.
George Jr.: And that gets you hugs?
Sheldon: Thanks to me, she got her first C-minus. Just between us, she's a little slow.
George Jr.: That's not what I heard.
Sheldon: What did you hear? Is she secretly clever? Because if she is, I completely missed it.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Meemaw: Hang on, y'all are trying to scare people into joining the church?
Mary: Yeah. But people like getting scared on Halloween anyway. Why not make 'em jump in the right direction?
Sheldon: Actually, fear has been a recruiting tactic used by organized religion for centuries. When you add guilt to keep people in line, it's an extremely efficient form of crowd control.
Mary: Our religion is based on love, Sheldon, not fear.
Sheldon: So what happens when people don't follow the rules?
Mary: They burn in hell. Because God loves 'em.

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Missy: So it's not gonna be scary?
Mary: It will, but without all the blood and gore.
Missy: But I like blood and gore.