Mr. Bustifer: What do you want?
George Jr.: I was wondering if you'd like to buy one of th- [Mr. Bustifer slams the door] You didn't even see what I was selling.
Mr. Bustifer: [opening again] What?
George Jr.: Texas snow globes. [door slams shut again] Dang it.

Mr. Bustifer: Who is it?
George Jr.: Georgie Cooper.
Mr. Bustifer: Who?
George Jr.: I'm your neighbor.
Mr. Bustifer: The one with the chickens?
George Jr.: No.
Mr. Bustifer: The ones with that weird, smart kid?
George Jr.: Yeah, that's my brother.
Mr. Bustifer: I don't like that kid.
George Jr.: Neither do I, sir.

Ms. Hutchins: We have a few books on mental illness you might find helpful. This one's a good place to start.
Sheldon: Have you read it?
Ms. Hutchins: Read it, lived it, made the mistake of talking about it on a date. [as Sheldon leaves] Sure. Walk away. They all do.

Sheldon: Do you have any books on mental health?
Ms. Hutchins: Sure. Why?
Sheldon: I believe my mother is unraveling.

Mary: Let me try this a different way. Um, do you ever feel paranoid, like people are out to get you?
Sheldon: I'm a ten-year-old in high school people are out to get me.
Mary: That's fair.

Mary: Here's a question for you. Do you ever see or hear things that other people can't?
Sheldon: Oh, all the time. Right now, the car antenna is vibrating at the same frequency as the pistons in the motor. It's quite irritating, but you know me I don't complain.
Mary: I meant more like things that aren't actually there.
Sheldon: Ah, isn't that the fundamental question of modern metaphysics? What is actually there? This is fun. Missy should ride with Dad more often.

Sheldon: Why aren't you also driving Missy to school?
Mary: I thought it might be nice for us to chat.
Sheldon: About Missy? She is a bit much, isn't she?

George Sr.: Honey, just 'cause they're both super smart doesn't mean that they're the same person. I mean, Sturgis was in love with your mom, so clearly he was nuts from the get-go.
Mary: You're not helping.
George Sr.: I'm not wrong, either. Love you.

Mary: I'm reading this book about mental problems, and I'm worried it sounds like Sheldon.
George Sr.: Well, stop reading the book.
Mary: Shelly and Dr. Sturgis have a lot in common, and look what happened.
George Sr.: What, you mean like how he went to-
Adult Sheldon: As a society, we've made strides in how we discuss psychological issues. 30 years ago in East Texas, let's just say we hadn't.
George Sr.: cuckoo, cuckoo. [blubbers]

Phyllis: Okay, 52 Texas snow globes comes to $55.25.
George Jr.: Can't you do any better?
Phyllis: What do you mean?
George Jr.: You're going out of business and I'm buying 'em all. Give me a break.
Phyllis: Okay, $50.
George Jr.: $30.
Phyllis: $40.
George Jr.: $35.
Phyllis: Deal.
George Jr.: No, wait. $32. $33. ... $35.

Edwin: Okay. What do we got here? Farmhouse Kitchen. Garfield Hangs Out. The Complete Guide to Your Child's Mental-
Mary: Oh, look, that cute little book light I'll get that, too. [chuckles nervously]
Edwin: Okay. You still want the crazy kid book, right?
Mary: Yeah.

Phyllis: Someone likes snow globes.
George Jr.: I hope so. I don't want 'em.

Adult Sheldon: I've always felt the world of subatomic particles would make an excellent video game. Uh, fortunately, thanks to my brain, I've been playing it for years.
Sheldon: You cheeky little muon, you know you don't belong there.
[As Mary turns to missy]
Missy: Don't look at me. He's your kid.

George Sr.: Can I get back to the game?
George Jr.: Fine. I don't need your money. I have my own.
George Sr.: Then why are we having this conversation?
George Jr.: 'Cause I'd rather lose your money than mine. See? Vision.

George Sr.: I'm not interested.
George Jr.: You're gonna regret it.
George Sr.: Show me.
George Jr.: Texas snow globes.
Missy: Ooh.
George Jr.: The card store on Magnolia is going out of business. They're selling these for one dollar each. I sell 'em for five, and the money rolls in.
George Sr.: Does it worry you that the store selling these things is going out of business?

George Jr.: Dad. How would you like to be rich?
George Sr.: Go away.
George Jr.: Aren't you even a little curious?
George Sr.: Does it involve me giving you money?
George Jr.: Yeah, but then I give you more money back.
Missy: How much more?
George Jr.: Way more.
Missy: You got to get in on this.

George Sr.: All right, see, when you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets two points and the ball. That's called a safety.
Missy: I thought one of the players was a safety.
George Sr.: Well, that's true, too.
Missy: I'm confused.
George Sr.: Now you know how I feel when you talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Missy: What's confusing? Everything you need to know is in the title.

Meemaw: Smart.
Mary: Thank you.
Meemaw: You're good at lying. You should do it more often.
Mary: I like your earrings.

Meemaw: I mean, I'm worried about him. I don't know how serious this is.
Mary: The whole year you were together did you see any, um warning signs?
Meemaw: No. Not really. I just thought he was another, [chuckles] you know, cute, quirky egghead like Sheldon. Speaking of which, when are you gonna tell Sheldon the truth about John?
Mary: Mm. When the time is right.
Meemaw: So he still thinks he's being treated for mono?
Mary: I had to come up with something contagious so he wouldn't want to visit.

Mary: Have you heard from Dr. Sturgis at all?
Meemaw: No. Can you believe the hospital's still holding him for observation?
Mary: Can't you?