Sheldon: In other school news, this Friday night our football team will be playing another football team.

Assistant Coach Wilkins: You worried your kid just invited the whole school to your house?
George Sr.: At 5:00 in the morning for a Swedish science thing? [CHUCKLES] Not at all.

Sheldon: Good morning, Medford High School, this is Class President Sheldon Cooper with an important science bulletin. This Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize in Physics will be announced, and I'd like to invite each and every one of you to my garage to listen live at 5:00 a.m. and be a part of scientific history. Food and refreshments will be served-

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, my sweet.
Meemaw: What are you doing out here?
Dr. John Sturgis: Weeding. You have goosegrass. And you can't have a nice lawn if you have goosegrass.
Meemaw: It's kind of dark out.
Dr. John Sturgis: Goosegrass doesn't sleep. It kills the good grass and leaves bald spots. But don't worry, I'm on the job.
Meemaw: Oh. Okay. Can I get you a flashlight?
Dr. John Sturgis: I would prefer a headlamp, such as one would use for spelunking.
Meemaw: Okay. Let me check my spelunking supplies.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're a peach. [singing] Pulling weeds and picking stones-

Dr. John Sturgis: [singing] Inch by inch, Row by row, Gonna make this garden grow, Gonna mulch it deep and-

George Jr.: You're so cheap.
George Sr.: If you want cable, pay for it yourself. Or better yet, try turning that thing off and go read a book.
George Jr.: "Read a book"?

George Jr.: You know if we had cable, we'd have, like, 60 channels?
George Sr.: We have plenty of channels.
George Jr.: We have seven.
George Sr.: Hey! There are starving kids in Africa with no channels.
George Jr.: Come on, it don't cost much.
George Sr.: I'm not paying for television. Television is free. Always was, always will be.

Sheldon: Which scientists are you rooting for?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I don't have a favorite. There's so much good work being done.
Sheldon: I think it's time Frederick Reines finally gets his due for the neutrino.
Dr. John Sturgis: I suppose he has a shot.
Sheldon: I should think so, he confirmed the neutrino's existence 35 years ago. What the heck are they waiting for?
Dr. John Sturgis: Lots of talented people don't get recognized.

[As George, Sheldon and Missy look up at the roof]
George Sr.: Georgie, get out here! Got a chore for you!
Missy: Good call. You have no business up there.

George Sr.: The Super Bowl is football. Your thing is- I don't even know what your thing is.
Sheldon: It's the most prestigious award in the field of physics.
George Sr.: I'll think about it.
Sheldon: When I win one, I might just thank you in my speech.
George Sr.: The things I do for you.

George Sr.: So you want me to put that thing on that roof?
Sheldon: Yes.
George Sr.: So you can hear who won a science prize?
Sheldon: The Nobel Prize.
George Sr.: Why can't you read who won in the newspaper?
Sheldon: I could say the same thing about the Super Bowl, but you still watch it.
Missy: He got you there.

Mary: And what's this? Some kind of antenna?
Sheldon: Yes. It needs to go up on the roof.
Mary: You're not going on the roof.
Dr. John Sturgis: Of course he's not. I am.
Meemaw: You're not going, either.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excuse me, I have six years of tai chi under my belt. I have the balance of a jungle cat.
Meemaw: You doing some kind of slow-motion hula dance in the park is not gonna change my mind.
Dr. John Sturgis: I do much more than just this.

Sheldon: Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize winners are going to be announced in Sweden, and we'll hear it as it's happening.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, 2.8 milliseconds later.
Sheldon: Sure, because of the propagation.

Mary: And you thought this was okay to go on in my house?
Meemaw: It was that or my house, so here we are.

Sheldon: It's a shortwave radio. Dr. Sturgis is letting me use it.
Dr. John Sturgis: It picks up broadcasts from around the world.
Sheldon: Listen. This is the time being announced every minute from Ottawa.
Operator: At the sound of the tone, the local time in Ottawa will be 5:13. [BEEPS]
Meemaw: Spellbinding, ain't it?

Pastor Jeff: For so many months, our little parish has been struggling financially. But by the grace of God and his provision, we have received the most donations in church history! Praise Jesus! Praise Jesus!
Sheldon: So it's all Jesus, we don't get any credit?
Missy: We need to start our own church.
Sheldon: They don't pay taxes. It's a very sound business model.

Mary: I'm surprised you're here this morning.
George Jr.: Hey. I got to support my pal.

Officer Robbin: Are you his wife?
Mary: Oh, no, I'm church secretary. He's actually single.
Pastor Jeff: Well, technically-
Mary: He's single.

Dr. John Sturgis: May I ask you a personal question?
Meemaw: Sure.
Dr. John Sturgis: Does your gambling constitute a problem?
Meemaw: Not today. Bam! Come on. Let me take you out to dinner.
Dr. John Sturgis: Don't forget that you promised Sheldon if you won, you'd donate to the church.
Meemaw: You want to see me get cranky again?
Dr. John Sturgis: No, I don't.
Meemaw: Well, let's go strap on some bibs and eat lobster.

George Sr.: What are y'all up to?
Sheldon: Just helping Mom with some church work.
George Sr.: Well, aren't you two great kids.
Missy: We like to think so.