Mary: Well, regardless, I'm glad Missy has someone she can talk to.
Meemaw: Like a big sister.
Mary: Yeah.
Meemaw: Who got knocked up by a 17-year-old knucklehead.
Mary: Why does she want to talk to her instead of us?
Meemaw: Pisses me off.

Billy Sparks: One question... How can you have zero if zero is nothing?
Sheldon: It's not something that you have. Zero represents a state of nothingness.
Billy Sparks: What does that mean?
Sheldon: It's nothingness. The absence of somethingness. Trust me, zero is a thing.
Billy Sparks: But you just said it's a nothing.
Sheldon: I did.
Billy Sparks: Which is it? A something or a nothing? [exploding sound] [wind whooshing]
[Sheldon is silent]

Sheldon: We have a problem.
Dr. John Sturgis: What?
Sheldon: Zero might not exist.
Dr. John Sturgis: [chuckles] Of course zero exists.
Sheldon: Great. Then explain it to me.
Dr. John Sturgis: Easy. Zero is nothing.
Sheldon: But how can nothing be a thing?
Dr. John Sturgis: Think of it this way... Picture an empty box.
Sheldon: All right.
Dr. John Sturgis: What's in the box? Nothing.
Sheldon: It's not nothing. Air, atoms, molecules... That empty box is as full as full can be.

Georgie: So what are we doing here?
Mary: We are peeling potatoes.
Georgie: Cool. Why?
Mary: 'Cause we're making mashed potatoes and we don't want the skins in 'em.
Georgie: Uh-huh. Why?
Mary: 'Cause mashed potatoes are supposed to be smooth.
Georgie: Hmm. [chuckles] You know a lot about potatoes.
Mary: Go ahead. Peel one.
Georgie: You think I'm ready?
Mary: Only one way to find out.

Mandy: Any updates on Kevin?
Missy: I did what you said and was nothing but nice to Heather.
Mandy: Okay. How'd that go?
Missy: So good.I found out she stuffs her bra.
Mandy: Huh. See? When the time is right, you can destroy her with that.
Missy: That's gonna be a good day.
Mandy: And that trick isn't just for middle school. That's something you can use for the rest of your life.

Sheldon: I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Billy Sparks: If you mean I'm gonna be left back, it's okay. You tried.
Sheldon: No. Well, maybe. I have bad news about zero. It doesn't exist.
Billy Sparks: So I was right?
Sheldon: No one is more shocked than I am. I can't help you with your test. Without zero, I don't even know what math is anymore.
Billy Sparks: Hmm.
Sheldon: Yeah. Hmm.
Billy Sparks: What if we just pretend it exists?
Sheldon: Are you saying to accept zero as an act of faith?
Billy Sparks: Was I?
Sheldon: I think so.
Billy Sparks: Okay.

Billy Sparks: Maybe we should pray to it.
Sheldon: I think we should.
[Sheldon and Billy get down on their knees to pray]
Sheldon: Zero, it's me, Sheldon. I know I doubted you, but in my defense, you're literally nothing. I would like to thank you for all the gifts you've given us... The null set, Fibonacci sequence, binary language. I could go on ad infinitum, but not without you.
Billy Sparks: [whispers] Ask Zero to help me pass my test.
Sheldon: Zero's not magic. You still have to study.
Billy Sparks: Oh. Then I'm going back to Jesus. Jesus, please help me. I'm already the biggest kid in sixth grade.
Sheldon: Amen.
Billy Sparks: Amen.

Georgie: Damn it, Missy. I'm two seconds away from peeing in your mother's prayer garden.

Sheldon: Good news. I think Billy might pass his math test tomorrow.
Missy: There's a math test tomorrow?
Sheldon: Your hair is upsetting me.

Mary: Hey. How was school?
Missy: Sucked.
Mary: Language.
Missy: You asked, and it did.

Meemaw: You want breakfast, eggs are here, stove is there. Knock yourself out.
Georgie: I get she's pregnant. I don't know why you're so moody.
Meemaw: On the count of three...
Georgie: I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Have a good day, Mama.
Mandy: Ugh.

Billy Sparks: [o.s.] Mom, look!
Brenda Sparks: That chicken is not a hat!

Mary: What happened?
Missy: I don't want to talk about it.
Mary: Are you sure? I'm a pretty good listener.
Missy: Then why didn't you hear me say I don't want to talk about it?
Mary: Is this about a boy?
Missy: Mom.
Mary: I-I do have some experience on the subject.
Missy: Please, the only two boys you have experience with are Dad and Jesus. I'm gonna go talk to Meemaw. [walks off]
Mary: I know other boys.

Missy: And then he walked right on by me like I wasn't there.
Meemaw: Does he even know you like him?
Missy: I don't know. I've ignored him, been mean to him. What else can I do?
Meemaw: Sounds like you've tried everything.

Meemaw: I've got an idea. Why don't you just tell him?
Missy: But what if he doesn't like me back? I would die.
Meemaw: You will not die.
Missy: Oh, yes, I will. I will be dead, and you will be sad at my funeral.