Episode Recap
In Meemaw’s kitchen, she serves Mandy a full breakfast. When Georgie wonders where his breakfast is, Meemaw points out he’s not pregnant. Georgie likes to think they’re pregnant together. Mandy stops him: Are his ankles swollen? Did he throw up this morning? Is he constipated? “No, dear,” Georgie concedes, prompting Mandy to tell him to stop calling her “dear.” After Meemaw tells Georgie he can make his own breakfast, Georgie says he understands Mandy's pregnant, but why's Meemaw so cranky? “On the count of three…” Meemaw says before Georgie rushes out.
Adult Sheldon says one thing George enjoys about being unemployed is getting some peace and quiet. As George sits and reads a newspaper in the yard, he hears Brenda Sparks yelling at Billy to stop feeding the chickens Cap’n Crunch. After George asks if everything’s okay over there, Brenda reluctnatly explains that Billy’s failing math and they might hold him back a year. She tries helping him with his homework, but math was never her strong point. George can relate. When Brenda asks if he thinks Sheldon would help Billy, George admits helping people isn’t where Sheldon shines. Pissing them off, on the other hand, he has covered. After Brenda is forced to tell Billy that a chicken is not a hat, she asks George to hurry.
When Missy arrives home from school, Mary asks how her day was. After Missy says it sucked, Mary warns her about her language. “You asked. And it did,” Missy responds. Mary wonders what happened, but Missy doesn’t want to talk about it. Mary says she’s a pretty good listener, but Missy points out that she already said she didn’t want to talk about it. “Is this about a boy?” Mary asks, mentioning she has some experience. Missy scoffs, saying the only boys Mary knows about are Dad and Jesus, and says she’ll go talk to Meemaw instead.
Over at Meemaw’s house, Missy complains that a boy walked right by her like she wasn’t even there. When Meemaw asks if the boy knows Missy likes him, Missy admits she doesn't know. Missy has ignored him and been mean to him, what else can she do? Meemaw suggests just telling the boy she likes him, but Missy argues she would die if he didn’t feel the same way. Meemaw suggests that Missy have one of her friends ask the boy if he likes her, so Missy isn’t put on the spot. Missy likes that idea. If he doesn’t like her, she’ll just keep being mean to him. “I don't know why that works. Men are dumb,” Meemaw says. After Missy questions whether it means they’re dumb for liking boys, Meemaw concedes, “It's not a good look for us.”
As Sheldon works on his computer, George stops by to ask if he’s busy. Sheldon says he is, but he’s good at bifurcating his attention. George explains that Billy Sparks is failing math, and Brenda was wondering if Sheldon could tutor him. Sheldon says he could, but he won’t. “Because me teaching Billy is like trying to use the gravitational power of a neutron star to change the spin of a boson,” Sheldon argues. George tells Sheldon not to be like that. If Billy doesn’t get help, he’ll be held back. Sheldon says that’s the system working, very Darwinian. George says never mind, admitting he told Brenda that teaching wasn’t really Sheldon’s thing. Sheldon insists it’s not that he can’t do it. George tells him not to worry, he’s good at a lot of things, but teaching isn’t one of them. Sheldon recognizes what George is doing—reverse psychology. George claims he doesn’t know what Sheldon’s talking about as he starts to walk out. “It's childish and obvious,” Sheldon says. “So you’ll do it?” George asks from down the hall. “Yes, I'll do it,” Sheldon replies.
In the Coopers’ kitchen, Meemaw sits at the table with leftover cake from the restaurant that Mandy gave her. After Mary says Mandy is lucky to have her. Missy, too, Mary adds. Meemaw can tell it's bothering Mary not knowing what Missy talked to her about. Mary insists she's happy Missy has an adult she can trust and confide in, but she still wants to know. Meemaw says she can't share because it's a special bond between granddaughter and grandmother. "I am her mother and I am your daughter. Give me something," Mary demands. Meemaw insists it's just boy stuff, but Mary is still unhappy that Missy would rather talk to Meemaw about it. As Mary starts to eat the cake, Meemaw jokes, "There you go. Eat those feelings."
In the Sparks' kitchen, Sheldon sits at the table with Billy. He mentions that he knows Billy has a test coming up on "negative numbers and fractions," and asks what Billy doesn't understand. Billy is silent with a blank expression on his face. "Oh, boy," Sheldon says. He decides to take a step back and asks Billy where he stands on addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Billy responds that he's against it. "Oh, boy."
As Mandy puts leftover tuna salad in Meemaw’s fridge, an upset Missy arrives to talk to her grandmother. Missy explains that she told Heather she liked Kevin so Heather could find out if he liked her, but Heather asked him out instead. Heather didn't even think Kevin was cute until Missy said she liked him. When Mandy asks why she would tell her friend that, Missy explains that Meemaw advised her to do so. Meemaw defends her advice, saying that's how you find out if someone likes you in high school. After Mandy says that's one way to do it, Missy asks what she would have done. “You put him on Heather's radar when you said you liked him. I probably would have dropped a note in his locker or asked one of his guy friends.”, Mandy tells her. Missy says that makes so much sense and wonders why Meemaw didn't suggest that. “I gave you good advice. It's not my fault Heather sucks,” Meemaw argues in her defense. Missy wonders what she should do now. “Uh…,” Meemaw stammers before Missy cuts her off and says she was asking Mandy.
Back at the Sparks' house, Sheldon tells Billy his basic arithmetic skills are “disappointing but functional.” When Sheldon moves on to negative numbers, Billy can't understand how something can be less than zero. Sheldon tries to explain in monetary terms, saying you could have one dollar, that's one. You could have no dollars, that's zero. Or you could owe somebody one dollar, that's negative one. “Does that make sense?” Sheldon asks. Billy says he thinks so, before shouting to his mom that he owes Sheldon a dollar.
At Meemaw’s, Missy and Mandy are talking in the kitchen. Missy says she’s going to tell Heather what a bitch she is in front of everyone. Mandy advises her not to, saying, "Don't show your cards. Tomorrow, you're gonna be her best friend." "Why?" Missy wonders. "Because then she'll tell you things, and you can use those things against her," Mandy explains. "Oh, you’re good," Missy says. Missy tells Mandy it’s nice to have her to talk to about these things, since her mother is very religious and her meemaw is kind of old. "Hey, I'm sitting right here," Meemaw shouts from the couch.
Mary is surprised when her mother comes to the house because she thought Meemaw was with Missy. Meemaw claims she thought it was a good idea for Missy to talk to Mandy, someone closer to her age. After Mary figures out Missy ditched Meemaw, which Meemaw confirms, admitting it stings. Mary insists she’s happy Missy has someone to talk to, but after Meemaw notes that Mandy is pregnant with Georgie’s baby, they can’t understand why Missy wants to talk to Mandy instead of them. When Georgie stops by, Meemaw asks what he’s up to. Georgie says he’s trying to take his mind off the fact that the mother of his child wants nothing to do with him. He asks his grandmother if she could put in a good word for him. Meemaw wonders what word. “Dependable. Hardworking. Trustworthy. Sexy.”, Georgie offers. After Mary scolds Georgie for saying sexy, he admits being sexy is what got him in this situation in the first place.
Back at the Sparks', Billy finally thinks he understands negative numbers but is still puzzled by zero. “How can you have zero if zero is nothing?” Billy asks. Sheldon explains, “Zero represents a state of nothingness.” Billy is confused and asks what that means. Sheldon says, “It's nothingness. The absence of somethingness. Trust me, zero is a thing.” Billy points out that Sheldon just said it’s nothing. “Which is it? Something or nothing?”, Billy wonders. For once, Sheldon is stumped.
Fresh from educating Billy Sparks, Sheldon goes to Dr. Sturgis' office to say they have a problem. Zero isn’t real. “Of course zero exists,” John responds, before Sheldon asks him to explain it. "Easy. Zero is nothing," John answers. But how can nothing be a thing, Sheldon wonders. John asks Sheldon to imagine an empty box. "What's in the box? Nothing," John says. Sheldon argues it can’t ever be empty—"It's not nothing. Air, atoms, molecules... That empty box is as full as it can be." John says, regardless, zero is very important. Sheldon isn’t arguing it's not important, just that it's not real. John thinks Sheldon’s being silly, zero is just like any other number. "Oh, yeah? Can you divide with it?" No, John admits. Sheldon quotes Greek philosopher Parmenides who said, "Nothing cannot exist, because to speak of something is to speak of something that exists." Sheldon breaks the news to him, "Dr. Sturgis, zero isn't real." John has the same blank, stumped expression that Sheldon had earlier.
Mary is surprised when Georgie comes into the kitchen and asks if she needs any help making dinner. Georgie says he figures he should learn to cook for Mandy and the baby. Mary says that’s the sweetest thing she’s ever heard. “Well, I'm a sweet boy,” Georgie replies as he asks what they’re doing. Mary explains they’re peeling potatoes to make mashed potatoes. When Georgie has another follow-up question, Mary explains they do it because mashed potatoes are supposed to be smooth. Georgie comments that his mother knows a lot about potatoes. After Missy walks into the kitchen and announces she’s going out for dinner with Mandy, Georgie asks if he can come along. Mary reminds him he’s helping her cook. It's a moot point anyway, as Missy doesn’t want her brother to join their girls’ night.
As Mandy drives Missy to a restaurant, Missy tells Mandy she followed her advice and was nice to Heather all day. She discovered that Heather stuffs her bra. Mandy says that when the time is right, Missy can use that information to destroy Heather. Missy looks forward to that day. Mandy also notes that this trick isn’t just for middle school; it can be used throughout life. After Missy says Mandy is wise and pretty and could be on TV, Mandy admits she used to be a TV weather girl. When Missy says she doesn’t think she could be on TV because she’s not “blonde and perfect,” Mandy points out that anyone can be blonde. After all, Madonna is a brunette.
DDr. Linkletter arrives in John’s office and asks what’s wrong. “Zero,” answers John. Linkletter is confused: zero is wrong? “Zero doesn't exist,” Sheldon declares. Linkletter still doesn’t understand. Neither do we, John says. “Dr. Linkletter, there's no such thing as zero,” Sheldon states. When Linkletter insists there is, John asks him to prove it. Later, Linkletter is as ashen-faced as Sheldon and Dr. Sturgis as he stares at his work on a chalkboard. “Uh-oh,” Linkletter says, setting off a chain reaction as Sheldon vomits into a trash can, followed by John, and ultimately Linkletter.
In the Coopers' bathroom, Missy looks at her freshly dyed hair in the mirror and says, "Uh-oh." Later, with a towel over her hair, Mandy arrives and asks to see. After Missy insists it's bad, Mandy tries to calm her down, saying she's sure it's fine. Missy claims it's the end of her life. When Missy unwraps the towel, Mandy struggles for words, saying, "Oh, my. That is... something." Missy wonders if she can be homeschooled, but Mandy reassures her that they can fix it. Missy is worried her parents will kill her if they see it. After Georgie walks by and sees his sister's hair, Mandy tells him not to make it worse.
When George arrives home, Mandy tells Missy to stay in the bathroom while they stall him. Outside, Georgie lies and tells his father that nothing is new. When George asks where the kids are, Georgie says Sheldon is at Billy Sparks' house. When George asks about Missy, both Georgie and Mandy insist they haven't seen her. As George walks away with no more questions, Georgie tells Mandy they make a good team.
At Billy’s house, Sheldon tells Billy he has bad news. Billy asks if it's about being held back, but Sheldon says no—well, maybe. The news is that zero doesn’t exist. When Billy asks if he was right, Sheldon says no one is more surprised than him. “I can't help you with your test. Without zero, I don't even know what math is anymore,” Sheldon says. After Billy suggests they just pretend that zero exists, Sheldon ponders whether they can accept it as an act of faith. “My mom accepts God as an act of faith, and zero is way more useful than God,” Sheldon says. Without zero, they wouldn’t have algebra. Sheldon points out that before the Big Bang, there was actually nothing. “So you could say the entire universe was born out of zero.” After Billy suggests they pray to it, Sheldon and Billy get on their knees and pray to zero. Billy starts praying to Jesus when he realizes zero can’t magically help him with his homework.
When George goes to the bathroom, Missy asks for a minute and proceeds to climb out the window. After Mary arrives home with groceries and asks for help, Georgie volunteers and tries to drag his dad along, even though he needs to go to the bathroom. Across the street, Meemaw opens her front door to see Missy and her new hair. As George complains he’s seconds away from peeing in the prayer garden, Meemaw walks into the Coopers' house with Missy. George and Mary wonder what Missy has done to her hair, while Georgie and Mandy pretend to be surprised. After Sheldon returns home with the good news that Billy might pass the math test tomorrow, Missy is disappointed to hear there’s a test.
The next day in math class, Missy wears a deer trapper hat to cover her hair while taking the test. Billy leans over and tells Missy she can copy off him because he actually studied this time. Missy says thanks. Adult Sheldon explains that he's not saying it was Zero, but a small miracle did happen that day. Billy passed the test with a 66 and moved on to the seventh grade, where he remained for the next several years.
