Sheldon: Good morning, Medford High School, this is Class President Sheldon Cooper with an important science bulletin. This Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize in Physics will be announced, and I'd like to invite each and every one of you to my garage to listen live at 5:00 a.m. and be a part of scientific history. Food and refreshments will be served-

Coach Wilkins: You worried your kid just invited the whole school to your house?
George: At 5:00 in the morning for a Swedish science thing? [CHUCKLES] Not at all.

Beverly Hofstadter: Leonard, dear, you should be in bed.

[As George, Sheldon and Missy look up at the roof]
George: Georgie, get out here! Got a chore for you!
Missy: Good call. You have no business up there.

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, my sweet.
Meemaw: What are you doing out here?
Dr. John Sturgis: Weeding. You have goosegrass. And you can't have a nice lawn if you have goosegrass.
Meemaw: It's kind of dark out.
Dr. John Sturgis: Goosegrass doesn't sleep. It kills the good grass and leaves bald spots. But don't worry, I'm on the job.
Meemaw: Oh. Okay. Can I get you a flashlight?
Dr. John Sturgis: I would prefer a headlamp, such as one would use for spelunking.
Meemaw: Okay. Let me check my spelunking supplies.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're a peach. [singing] Pulling weeds and picking stones-

Sheldon: I bet you don't even know the first thing about Sweden.
Missy: Well, you're wrong, it's where those little meatballs come from. And that chef on The Muppets. That's two things. Oh, and it's in Canada. That's three.

Sheldon: You'll be amazed to know that the Nobel Prize, while being the most prestigious award in science, is not generally celebrated in this country. No parades, no fireworks.
Which is why I thought having a breakfast celebration was not only appropriate, but long overdue. You may have noticed that I went with Cheerios, and believe me, it was a decision that I came to after careful consideration. There were birds on the Froot Loops, Cocoa Puffs and Corn Flakes, so they were out. And leprechauns and elves are magical creatures that would be a slap in the face to the scientific community. Anyway, the festivities begin at 4:30 a.m. You're most welcome to come. As are you, unhappy bag boy.

George: Well, look at that, there's boobies on my TV.
Missy: Ooh!
George: Get out of here!
Missy: I'm telling Mom!

Mary: And you thought this was okay to go on in my house?
Meemaw: It was that or my house, so here we are.

Sheldon: Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize winners are going to be announced in Sweden, and we'll hear it as it's happening.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, 2.8 milliseconds later.
Sheldon: Sure, because of the propagation.

Mary: And what's this? Some kind of antenna?
Sheldon: Yes. It needs to go up on the roof.
Mary: You're not going on the roof.
Dr. John Sturgis: Of course he's not. I am.
Meemaw: You're not going, either.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excuse me, I have six years of tai chi under my belt. I have the balance of a jungle cat.
Meemaw: You doing some kind of slow-motion hula dance in the park is not gonna change my mind.
Dr. John Sturgis: I do much more than just this.

Dr. John Sturgis: [singing] Inch by inch, Row by row, Gonna make this garden grow, Gonna mulch it deep and-

Meemaw: Hello?
Dr. Linkletter: Hi, Connie, this is Dr. Linkletter. I work in the physics department with Dr. Sturgis.
Meemaw: Oh, sure, I remember you. What can I do for you?
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I'm just calling to let you know that John is fine, but there's been a bit of an incident at the school today.
Meemaw: What happened?
Dr. Linkletter: He broke into the mainframe computer lab, tripped off an alarm. Security came, and there was a chase.
Meemaw: A chase?
Dr. Linkletter: It was a short one. He's not a fast man.
Meemaw: Uh, well, where is he now?
Dr. Linkletter: He's in the dean's office. He has you listed as the emergency contact, so I just wanted to let you know.
Meemaw: Well, uh thank you so much for calling.
Dr. Linkletter: My pleasure. If there's anything I can do, feel free to reach out. Or if you'd like to go grab a coffee sometime, I know a cute little cafe. Do you like scones?
Meemaw: You're not actually trying to hit on me right now, are you?
Dr. Linkletter: Is it working?
Meemaw: No. I should go.

Sheldon: I could offer an assortment of breakfast cereal.
Tam: My mom doesn't let me have cereal with sugar in it. Or anything that makes me happy.

George: Since when do we get MTV?
Georgie: Since I got cable.
George: What do you mean, you got cable?
Georgie: I called up the cable company and I said, "Hello, I'd like cable," and they put in cable.
George: I'm not paying for that.
Georgie: Keep your shirt on. I paid for it.
George: Is that so?
Georgie: Yeah, with money I saved from my job.
George: Well, okay. So do we get any of those movie channels?
Georgie: Dad, I'm trying to watch the news.