President Hagemeyer: So, what can I do for you?
George: When y'all were first recruiting Sheldon, you offered me a chance to head up your football program.
President Hagemeyer: And you turned us down.
George: I was right in the middle of rebuilding Medford's team, but now, I'm ready for a new challenge.
President Hagemeyer: Well, Mr. Cooper...
George: Please, call me Coach. Oh, and this just occurred to me, but, uh, if I were here, I could help keep an eye on Sheldon, take some of the burden off you.
President Hagemeyer: [laughs] Oh, your son is no burden.
George: He's a pain in the ass, ma'am. You can say it.
President Hagemeyer: Well, whether he is or he isn't...
George: He is.

President Hagemeyer: ...we don't have a football team anymore.
George: What? You're a university in Texas.
President Hagemeyer: We are a science-focused university.
George: But you got that whole stadium.
President Hagemeyer: Well, we still have soccer. Oh. What-what about Texas A&M? Pretty sure they have a football program.
George: Yeah, if that doesn't work, maybe I'll try the Cowboys.
President Hagemeyer: Hey, reach for the stars. [chuckles]

George: I went to Sheldon's college for a possible coaching gig. They don't even have a team anymore.
Dale: Huh. So you're looking for a new job?
George: Something like that.
Dale: Well, there's plenty of teams out there.
George: Yeah, but I'm starting to think it's gonna be the same BS wherever I go.
Dale: That's how I feel about life. Wherever I go... [blows raspberry]
George: [chuckles] Yeah.
Dale: You ever think about doing something different?
George: Well, I played football, I coach football, I watch a lot of football. So unless sitting here becomes a job...

Adult Sheldon: I'd only been a shareholder for one day and I was already reveling in the giddy thrill in being part owner of a thriving tech company.
Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello, RadioShack. Sheldon Cooper, shareholder. I just wanted to let you know I'm so excited to be part of the team. While I sound young, rest assured, I'm far more intelligent than my age would imply. So if there's anything I can do to help, budgeting, product design, finding a word more impressive than "shack," I'm your man.

Adult Sheldon: My sister had taken a different path with her money.
Sheldon: What is that?
Missy: It's a cotton candy machine.
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: It's a machine that makes free cotton candy.
Sheldon: It's not free, you paid for it.
Missy: Meemaw paid for it. And it's still better than lame stocks.
Sheldon: You're going to end up with a stomachache while I get to be part of America's favorite electronics retailer.

Georgie: The point is, you shouldn't give this away for free.
Missy: How much would I even charge?
Georgie: Hmm. How about 50 cents?
Missy: They only cost me, like, two cents to make.
Georgie: Yeah, but you're not factoring in your time and the cost of the machine you bought and the value of the brainpower it took to think of butterscotch cotton candy.
Missy: Yeah. No one else thought of putting old-lady candy in a cotton candy machine. Why should they get it for free?
Georgie: Welcome to business.
Missy: Thank you for having me.

Adult Sheldon: While my sister was starting her business, I was trying to save mine.
Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper. May I speak to CEO John Roach, please? It's regarding our stock taking a small dip, and I'd like to hear his game plan. Well, I'm busy, too, but I made the time to call. Fine, may I please speak to your COO? CFO? CTO? Hello?

Meemaw: You're the one who told me to go out and have fun with my money.
Dale: I meant something fun for us.
Meemaw: Why us? It's my money.
Dale: You made that perfectly clear.
Meemaw: It's just a car.
Dale: It's not just a car. I think you got scared.
Meemaw: Scared of what?
Dale: I was talking about our future, and you panicked.
Meemaw: I think I've got a successful business and my own money and you can't handle it.
Dale: Oh, really?
Meemaw: Yeah. Really.
Waitress: What can I get started for you?
Dale: Actually, I think we're leaving.
Meemaw: I'm not going anywhere.
Dale: I'll have the enchiladas.

Sheldon: [on the phone] What do you mean, he hasn't read my fax? Is he aware I'm a shareholder? Well, where's the next shareholders' meeting? Fort Worth? I could barely get my mom to drive me to church.

Missy: Think they'd pay a dollar apiece?
Georgie: Sure. Just tell them it's a special limited edition. People go nuts for that.
Missy: [gasps] Like the Shamrock Shake.
Georgie: Exactly.
Missy: Every year, I'm like, "This tastes like toothpaste." But every year, I buy it.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Well, I'll just tell you, then. Imagine an electronics megastore. Actually, "mega" doesn't cut it. Imagine an electronics yottastore. Yotta. It's ten to the 24th power. No, don't put me on hold. [groans]

Adult Sheldon: Grandmas love to spoil their grandchildren. Especially when the grandma has a suitcase full of cash she doesn't know what to do with.
Missy: Whoa.
Sheldon: Oh, my. Did you mean to give us ten dollar bills? Because these are hundreds.
Missy: I'm gonna kick your ass.
Meemaw: I know it's a lot, but why not see you enjoy it while I'm still around?
Missy: Ooh, there's an inheritance, too?
Meemaw: Well, depends on how you treat me in my golden years.
Sheldon: I'm not interested in your money, Meemaw.
Missy: You're pretty and I love you.
Meemaw: Now, don't you have something to say to me?
Sheldon: Thank you.
Missy: I'm rich.

Dale: George?
George: Hey, Dale.
Dale: Surprised to see you here.
George: Are you?
Dale: Not even a little.
George: You ever hear of a Texas college that only plays soccer?
Dale: [sighs] Can I get a beer first before we start with the hard questions?

Dale: How about selling footballs?
George: You mean, like, at your store?
Dale: Yeah. I could always use the help.
George: I'm not looking for a handout.
Dale: That's not what this is. I'd love to have more time off. And it could be nice to have someone at the store who I could trust.
George: Well, thanks, uh... I'll think about it.
Dale: Well, don't thank me, I'm just taking advantage of your crappy situation.
George: How do you know I'm not taking advantage of yours?
Dale: Because I'm a very successful businessman, and you're sitting here in the middle of the day.
George: Well, you're here, too.
Dale: You were here first.

George: Oh, no, t-these are great shoes, but at his age, he's gonna grow out of them before you hit the parking lot. [chuckles] These are just as good, and they're gonna save you a little money.
Woman: Thank you.
George: Take them up to the counter, I'll be right there to ring them up.
Dale: George. You realize you're on commission, don't you?
George: [to the mother] You know what you never grow out of? Socks. I'm gonna grab you some socks. How about some wristbands?