Georgie: What are you doing?
Mary: I'm sewing.
Georgie: Why?
Mary: Because it's a thing I like to do.
Georgie: I ain't never seen you sew.
Mary: Well, you're seeing it now.

Georgie: What you making?
Mary: A dress for Missy.
Georgie: Did you lose your job?
Mary: No.
Georgie: Did Dad lose his job?
Mary: It's about me doing something for myself.
Georgie: All right, don't get sassy.
George: [enters] Hey. What's going on in here?
Georgie: She's making clothes for Missy.
George: Uh-oh. Did you lose your job?
Mary: No.
Georgie: She's doing something for her. [whispers] I don't get it, either.

Sheldon: Ooh, maybe I'll transfer to the University of Zurich.
Missy: I thought you liked your school.
Sheldon: I did, until Paige ruined it.
Missy: Why do you care what she thinks?
Sheldon: I don't.
Missy: Sure sounds like you do.
Sheldon: I can't help it. She makes me crazy.
Missy: Then stop thinking about her.
Sheldon: I wish I could.

Missy: Ooh, maybe you have a crush on her.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous.
Missy: I don't know.
Sheldon: I don't.
Missy: You care what she thinks, you can't stop talking about her.
Sheldon: I don't have a crush on her!
Missy: Are you sure?
Sheldon: I don't know!

Missy: Okay, here we go. "Is it a crush? Take this juicy quiz and find out. Do you think about them when they're not around?"
Sheldon: Lately, yes.
Missy: "Are you jealous when other people give them attention?"
Sheldon: I suppose I am.
Missy: "Do you get nervous when you're around them?"
Sheldon: How could I not? Last time she punched me, in the face.
Missy: That was so great. "Do you talk about them all the time?" That's a big fat yes. "Do you dream about them?"
Sheldon: Oh, dear. Just last night I had a nightmare that she solved the Einstein field equations ahead of me.
Missy: That's five out of five. "You're crushing harder than Zack on Kelly Kapowski."
Sheldon: Uh, what does that mean?
Missy: Trust me, that's a big deal.

Adult Sheldon: My sister had gotten into my head, but I needed a more reliable opinion than a magazine that included the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips.

Sheldon: Missy thinks I have a crush on Paige.
Georgie: Do you?
Sheldon: I don't know, but I know that I don't want to.
Georgie: Well, you don't get to choose. It's just something you feel.
Sheldon: Did you have a crush on your girlfriend?
Georgie: Yeah, I guess.
Sheldon: How did you know when you did?
Georgie: Well, one day she came to school in these soccer shorts, and that was it.
Sheldon: What happened, you played soccer with her?
Georgie: No, dummy.
Sheldon: Then what was the significance of the shorts?
Georgie: I don't think I can help you.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll ask Dad.
Georgie: Good luck. The only thing he has a crush on is beer.

Sheldon: [on the phone] I just want to know if I have a crush.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, does your heart rate elevate when you're in her presence?
Sheldon: I suppose.
Dr. John Sturgis: Does your stomach flutter?
Sheldon: Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sounds like your limbic system might be doing its thing.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.

George: That's a lot of fabric.
Mary: Oh, it's not just fabric. I also got pattern books and an accessory kit.
George: Can I ask how much that all cost?
Mary: Well, it's hard to say, because in the long run I'm gonna save us money.
George: Well, what did it cost in the short run?
Mary: I don't know, a hundred dollars?
George: A hundred dollars? What is wrong with you?

Coach Wilkins: Why would you say that?
George: That is a good question.
Coach Wilkins: I mean, what is wrong with you?
George: Why is it okay when you say it?
Coach Wilkins: 'Cause clearly there's something wrong with you.

George: So you think it's fine that she spent a hundred dollars on thread?
Coach Wilkins: I think it's fine that she has something that makes her happy. [George looks around] What are you looking for?
George: Anybody but you.
Coach Wilkins: Look, I get it. One time, Darlene got all into scrapbooking. Overnight, our den became her scrapbooking room.
George: What did you do?
Coach Wilkins: I said, "Whatever makes you happy, dear," and made love to her in the scrapbooking room.
George: Maybe if you had three kids, you'd worry more about money.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, we can't wait to have babies. I just love the way their little heads smell.
George: [loudly] Does anybody in here want to be my friend? Anybody?

Paige: Look, Sheldon, you're not gonna convince me to come here. You're wasting your time.
Sheldon: [sighs] I'm afraid we have a bigger problem.
Paige: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: [sighs] I'm a scientist, and I have to follow the data wherever it leads, whether I like it or not.
Paige: Get to the point.
Sheldon: It seems I have a crush on you.
Paige: What?
Sheldon: I'm as surprised as you are. But I have all the symptoms according to both Dr. Sturgis and the editors of Sassy magazine.

Paige: Uh, Sheldon, I'm really glad that you told me this, 'cause... the truth is, I feel the same way about you.
Sheldon: You do?
Paige: I mean, I've been trying to hide it, but now I don't have to anymore. This is such a relief.
Sheldon: Oh, dear. This is new information. I had been operating under the assumption that my crush was unrequited.
Paige: Oh, it's requited, Sheldon. It's very requited.
Sheldon: Hmm. [Paige moves closer to Sheldon] What are you doing?
Paige: We have a crush on each other.
Sheldon: So?
Paige: Well, now we have to kiss.
Sheldon: We do?
Paige: I mean, it's where the data has led us.
Sheldon: I suppose.

Paige: Okay. Now close your eyes and pucker up. This might tickle.
[As Paige puts two fingers on Sheldon's lips, she pulls out a magic marker and draws a mustache on his face]
Sheldon: [muffled] What's happening? Are we kissing?
Paige: You bet. How was that?
Sheldon: I didn't feel anything romantic.
Paige: Hmm. Me, either.
Sheldon: I guess it wasn't a crush after all.
Paige: I guess not.
Sheldon: Hmm. That's a relief.
Paige: It is.
Adult Sheldon: I went to three classes before I figured it out. Good thing I look spiffy in a mustache.

Mary: Hi.
June: Oh. Three days in a row. If you were a man, I'd think you was in love with me.