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416 - A Second Prodigy and the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips

Aired Thursday, April 29, 2021
A Second Prodigy and the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips

Sheldon finds himself at odds with Paige (Mckenna Grace) once again when she considers enrolling at East Texas Tech. Also, Mary seeks June’s (Reba McEntire) advice when looking for a change.

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Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: I've never been good at sharing. I had to share a womb...
Missy: [over ultrasound video] Ow.
Sheldon: [over ultrasound video] Ow.
["Rico Suave" by Gerardo playing over headphones]
Adult Sheldon: ...a bedroom...
Missy: ♪ Rico...♪
Adult Sheldon: Even my train room had Georgie's sweaty weight bench in it.
George Jr.: Come on, George. One more. Feel the burn, big boy. Feel the burn.
Adult Sheldon: But when it came to academics, the spotlight was all mine.
President Hagemeyer: Sheldon, having you here has been a real boon to this university.
Adult Sheldon: [spotlight shines on Sheldon] I did love basking in its glow.
President Hagemeyer: So we could really use your help in raising the school's profile even higher.
Sheldon: Of course. My intellect is at your service.
President Hagemeyer: Excellent. There is another young physics prodigy we want you to help us recruit. Her name is Paige Swanson. [electricity crackles]

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: But you don't need another child prodigy. You've already got me.
President Hagemeyer: And you have been... [scoffs] so great. Just imagine what it'd be like having two of you.
Sheldon: Well, why would you want two of me? I mean, I've heard even one of me is a lot to handle.
President Hagemeyer: Well, you're not afraid of a little competition, are you?
Sheldon: From Paige? Hardly. But I should warn you, she can be very difficult.
President Hagemeyer: Well, luckily I've had some practice with that lately.
Sheldon: And how do you handle it?
President Hagemeyer: Usually I, uh, play to their egos. You know, make them feel like the smartest person in the room.
Sheldon: And they fall for that?
President Hagemeyer: Well... [chuckles] not everyone's as smart as you, Sheldon.

Quote from Mary

Mary: Well, this time I'm actually gonna get a haircut. I had a little accident.
June: Uh-oh, what happened?
Mary: Well, I was sewing and got to daydreaming...
[flashback to Mary working on the sewing machine before she starts to fantasize:]
[fantasy: Missy, Georgie and George are wearing clothes Mary made:]
Missy: I love it. You can make all my clothes from now on.
George Jr.: I'm-a wear this to the prom.
George Sr.: I was wrong, honey, you really are good at this. Boy, am I dumb.
[sewing machine clacking]
Mary: George! George! Help!
George Sr.: What? What's the matter?
Mary: My hair got tangled in the machine.
George Sr.: So pull it out.
Mary: Don't you think I thought of that?!
George Sr.: Well, what do you want me to do? All right, don't move.
Mary: And here we are.
June: Okay. Let's get that hat off and see what we're dealing with.
Mary: I don't want to.
June: Oh, come on. I've been doing this a long time. I promise you I've seen worse. Oh... [chortles] That's not bad at all.

Quote from Brenda Sparks

Brenda Sparks: Hey, Mary.
Mary: Oh, Brenda. Love the haircut.
Brenda Sparks: Thank you. I was always afraid to go short, but I figured I already lost a husband. What's a few inches off the top?
Mary: Well, you look like a new person.
Brenda Sparks: I feel like a new person. I just needed to do something for me. It was either this or get a tattoo on my thigh.
Mary: I think you made the right choice.
Brenda Sparks: Well, I guess. I mean, who's seeing me naked these days?
Mary: Well, I wouldn't know.

Quote from June

June: What can I do for you?
Mary: Well, I guess I'm just looking for a change.
June: Uh-oh.
Mary: What's "uh-oh"?
June: Well, nothing, it's just, when the women come in looking for a change, it's usually relationship trouble.
Mary: [laughs softly] Oh... Well, not me. I'm fine.
June: Okay, but I got a perm and a divorce in the same week and I only regret one of them. [laughs]

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Episode Recap

Adult Sheldon says he’s never been good at sharing. He had to share a uterus. In an ultrasound video, fetal Sheldon and Missy punch each other. He had to share a bedroom. Missy sings and dances along with a song as Sheldon tries to work on the computer. He even had to share the garage where his train set is with his brother’s sweaty weight bench. But the academic spotlight shone solely on him. In President Hagemeyer’s office, she says having him there has been a real boon to the university. They need his help in raising the school’s profile even more. They want him to help recruit another young physics prodigy … Paige.

After Sheldon asks President Hagemeyer why she would want Paige to go there, Hagemeyer is delighted that Sheldon knows Paige, asking him to just tell her how much he loves being at the university. Sheldon points out they already have a child prodigy in him, why would they want another? Hagemeyer asks Sheldon if he’s afraid of a little competition. From Paige? Hardly. But Sheldon warns her that Paige can be difficult. Hagemeyer says luckily she’s had some practice with that lately. After Sheldon asks how she handles it, Hagemeyer says she usually just plays to their egos, making them feel like the smartest people in the room. And people fall for that? As Hagemeyer tells Sheldon not everyone is as smart as him, he nods.

As Mary drops Missy off at school, she tells her daughter to have a good day and that she loves her. After Missy covers her mouth with her hand as she tells her mom she loves her too, Mary wonders what she’s doing. Missy explains she learned it in baseball when you don’t want the other team to see what you’re saying. Mary points out it’s okay to love your mom. At home, Missy accepts, but here she gets the hand. After Missy leaves the car, Brenda Sparks comes to talk to Mary. When Mary compliments Brenda on her new hairstyle, Brenda admits she was always nervous about going short, but she figured she’d already lost a husband so what’s a few inches off top. After Brenda says it was that or a tattoo on her thigh, Mary thinks she made the right choice.

When Mary goes to June’s salon to talk about making an appointment, June says the chair’s free now. After she sits down in the chair, Mary says she’s looking for a change. Uh-oh, exclaims June, adding that when the women come in looking for a change, it's usually relationship trouble. Mary says that’s not the case with her, insisting that she's fine. June jokes that she got a divorce and a perm in one week and she only regrets one of them. Either way, there’s nothing wrong with a change. After June asks Mary what she would like, Mary is unsure. When June asks what she sees when she looks at herself in the mirror, Mary says she sees a mom… and a housewife. What does she want to see? Mary still isn’t sure. June suggests they start with her nails instead then.

As Meemaw drives Sheldon home from college, Sheldon complains that he’s supposed to talk Paige into attending his school. Meemaw thinks it might be nice for him to have someone his own age to talk to, but Sheldon says it will just cause confusion to have more than one kid genius. When Meemaw says she thought Sheldon and Paige were friends, Sheldon insists Paige is Missy’s friend while she’s his rival. Meemaw says he’s getting worked up over nothing; Paige might not even want to go to his school. Sheldon gets what she means: he should make the school sound terrible so Paige won’t want to get there. After Meemaw says that’s not where she was going, Sheldon says too late, he’s already there.

When George finds Mary looking at herself in the mirror, he wonders what she’s doing. Mary asks George to look at her and tell him what he sees. George is confused. He asks if she got a haircut, saying she’s looking good. Mary explains she didn’t get a haircut. Because she doesn't need one, George claims, before adding, “Looking good, babe.” Mary asks again for him to look at her and tell her what he sees. George doesn’t know what’s going on but says this feels like a trap. Mary explains she went to the salon to get a haircut. “Knew it”, George says, before adding that she’s looking foxy. Mary goes on to explain she didn’t get one because she didn’t know what she wanted. Oh. George says you know who’s got great hair, Charlene Tilton on Dallas. After Mary tells him that’s not helping, George says he knew it was a trap.

As Paige and Linda wait in President Hagemeyer’s office, she tells them that Sheldon was very excited to hear Paige might be joining them at the university. Sheldon arrives and says hello to Hagemeyer and Linda, before delivering a colder hello to Paige. Paige claims she’s excited for Sheldon to show her around campus. As Sheldon goes to say he’s only doing this because… Hagemeyer interrupts to say he’s excited to do it, she’s excited he’s doing it, and asks Linda if she’s excited. Sure. Sheldon sighs and tells Paige they should go.

As Sheldon shows Paige around the campus, he points her to the cafeteria, saying it’s nice if you like tuna salad with hair in it. Over there is the quad. It’s a nice place to relax if you like getting hit in the head with Frisbees. After Paige says she knows what he’s doing, Sheldon tells her she doesn’t. Paige assures Sheldon he has nothing to worry about as she doesn’t want to come to this university anyway. She’s just there to please her mom since it’s close to home. Anyway, she’s had offers from way better universities. Sheldon asks Paige what she means, wondering what’s wrong with this school. Paige says it’s fine, just nowhere near as good as Harvard or Columbia. Sheldon argues it is too. “If you like a substandard science department or hair in your tuna.”, Paige responds.

Paige’s words echo in Sheldon’s head as he looks at East Texas Tech in a whole new light. The campus looks gray and washed out. A chair croaks as Sheldon sits down in a lecture. The water fountain lets out a feeble dribble of water. Sheldon’s “Nutter Butter” bar gets stuck between the glass as he uses the vending machine.

When Sheldon talks to President Hagemeyer in her office, he explains Paige doesn’t even want to come to this university. Sheldon explains that Paige wants to go to Columbia or Harvard. Hagemeyer admits those are good science schools but says they have a lot to offer. Sheldon thought so, too, but Paige claims he was settling because he wanted to be near his mommy. Hagemeyer says that’s ridiculous. Sheldon knows, saying that’s why he came to her to tell on Paige. When Sheldon questions why Paige gets to go to a better school than him, Hagemeyer says the solution to his problem is to convince Paige to come there.

Back at the salon, Mary tells June that sometimes she feels George doesn’t even see her. It’s not just him. Missy’s embarrassed by her and the boys only think she’s good for making food and cleaning clothes. June gets it. She’s a mother too. June says you start to feel like a ghost. After Mary asks if that feeling ever went away, June says she realized she was doing everything for other people and didn’t have anything left for herself, so here she is now in her own salon. When Mary reveals she used to like making clothes and wonders whether she should get back into it, June says she absolutely should. As June asks Mary what she wants then, Mary says she doesn’t need a haircut now and thanks June for her time. After Mary leaves, June chuckles and says she should start charging by the hour.

As Mary works on her sewing machine back home, Georgie asks what she’s doing. Mary explains she’s sewing, it’s something she likes to do. Georgie says he’s never seen her sew before, but Mary says he’s seeing it now. After Georgie asks what she’s making, Mary explains she’s making a dress for Missy. Georgie wonders if she lost her job. No. Did Dad lose his job? No. Mary insists it’s about her doing something for herself. When George arrives home, he too wonders what Mary’s doing. After Mary explains she’s sewing a dress for Missy, George also wonders if she lost her job. No. Georgie explains that his mother is doing something for herself, whispering to his dad that he doesn’t get it either.

As Missy uses the computer in their room, Sheldon mentions he might move to the University of Zurich as he reads a physics book. Missy thought he liked his university. He did, until Paige ruined it. Missy questions why he cares what Paige thinks. Sheldon insists he doesn’t but Missy thinks it sounds like he does. Sheldon can’t help it, admitting Paige makes him crazy. After Missy tells him to stop thinking about her, Sheldon wishes he could. Missy wonders if he has a crush on her. Sheldon claims that’s ridiculous, but Missy isn’t so sure. After all, Sheldon can’t stop thinking about Paige and clearly cares what she thinks. Sheldon forcefully declares that he doesn’t have a crush on her but when Missy asks if he’s sure, he admits he doesn't know.

As Missy sits on her bed with a copy of Sassy magazine, she reads the questions from an “Is it a crush?” quiz to Sheldon. Do you think about them when they're not around? Lately, yes. Are you jealous when other people give them attention? I suppose I am. Do you get nervous when you're around them? How could I not? Last time she punched me in the face. Do you talk about them all the time? Missy says that's a big fat yes. Do you dream about them? Just last night I had a nightmare that she solved the Einstein field equations ahead of me. Missy tells Sheldon that's five out of five, "You're crushing harder than Zack on Kelly Kapowski." Sheldon doesn’t know what that means, but Missy assures him it’s a big deal.

Missy had gotten into his head but Adult Sheldon explains he needed a more reliable opinion than a magazine that included the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips, so he goes to see his brother Georgie. After Sheldon asks if he can ask a question about girls, Georgie tells him to go ahead but says he finds them very confusing. After Sheldon says Missy thinks he has a crush on Paige, Georgie asks if he thinks the same way. Sheldon doesn’t know, but he knows that he doesn’t want to. Georgie points out it’s not something you get to choose, it’s something you feel. When Sheldon asks if he had a crush on his girlfriend, Georgie guesses so, mentioning one day where Jana came to school in soccer shorts. Sheldon wonders if they played soccer together. As Sheldon struggles to grasp the significance of the shorts, Georgie says he doesn’t think he can help him. Sheldon vows to go speak to his dad, but Georgie says the only thing he has a crush on is beer.

Instead, Sheldon reaches out to Dr. Sturgis, who says love is a funny thing. Although the saying is “the heart wants what the heart wants”, John thinks it should be “the limbic system wants what the limbic system wants”. Sheldon is glad someone’s finally making sense. After Sheldon admits thinking about Paige drives him crazy, John says there’s a fine line between affection and aggravation, quoting the Roman poet Catullus. Sheldon just wants to know whether he has a crush. John asks if his heart rate gets elevated when he’s in her presence? I suppose. Does your stomach flutter? Yes. John says it sounds like his limbic system might be doing its thing. “Oh, dear.”, Sheldon says.

When Mary returns home with bags of shopping, George says that’s a lot of fabric. Mary points out it’s not just fabric, she also got pattern books and an accessory kit. George wonders if he can ask how much it all cost. Mary says it’s hard to say since she is going to save them money in the long-run. After George asks what it cost in the short run, Mary says about $100. George blurts out, “What is wrong with you?”

At a bar, Coach Wilkins wonders why George would say that. George concedes that’s a good question. After Coach Wilkins asks what is wrong with him, George wonders why he gets to pose that question. Wilkins says it’s because clearly there’s something wrong with George. George asks if he really thinks it’s fine that Mary spent $100 on thread. Wilkins thinks it’s good she’s found something that makes her happy. Wilkins says he gets it, as Darlene once got all into scrapbooking and turned their den into her scrapbooking room. After George wonders what he did, Wilkins says he said, "Whatever makes you happy, dear.”

As Sheldon and Paige sit on a bench on the campus, Paige tells Sheldon he won’t be able to convince her to come to the college. Sheldon says they have a bigger problem. He’s a scientist and has to follow the data wherever it leads, whether he likes it or not. It seems he has a crush on her. Sheldon tells Paige he’s as surprised as she is but he has all the symptoms according to Dr. Sturgis and Sassy magazine. Paige is glad he told her this, because the truth is she feels the same way. She’s been trying to hide it and now she doesn’t have to. Sheldon says this is new information, as he was operating under the assumption his crush was unrequited. Paige assures him it’s very requited. After Sheldon wonders what’s happening when Paige shuffles closer to them, she says they have to kiss since they have a crush on each other. It’s where the data has led them. After Paige tells Sheldon to close his eyes, she puts two fingers across his lips and pulls out a black magic marker. As Sheldon wonders what’s happening, Paige draws a mustache on Sheldon’s face and assures him they are kissing. When they’re done, Sheldon admits he didn't feel anything romantic. After Paige says she didn’t either, they figure it wasn’t a crush at all. That’s a relief, they both declare. Adult Sheldon says he went to three classes before he figured out what Paige had done, so it was a good thing he looks spiffy in a mustache.

When Mary returns to the salon for a third day in a row, she explains this time she is actually going to get a haircut. As she points to the hat she’s wearing, Mary explains she had a little accident. Mary explains that she was sewing and started daydreaming about Missy, Georgie and George enjoying the clothes she made for him. Mary snapped back to reality as her hair got caught in the sewing machine. When June tells Mary to take the hat off so she can see what they’re dealing with, Mary doesn't want to. June promises her she’s been doing this long enough to have seen worse. As Mary takes her hat off, June stifles a laugh and insists it’s not bad at all.

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