Dr. John Sturgis: He's like a young version of me, but without corrective shoes.

Georgie: Can we put on Soul Train?
George: Why?
Georgie: There's a girl on there I kind of want to marry.

Sheldon: Get it! Get it!
Missy: It's just a spider. Calm down.
Sheldon: It's got eight legs and fangs. I see no reason to be calm.

Sheldon: Did you kill it?
Missy: Yup.
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Missy: You tell me. [pointing the shoe at Sheldon]
[Sheldon screams and runs away]

George: No. See, Mary, that's the best part There's no pokin' and proddin'.

Georgie: Why don't they want to test me?
George: Georgie, not now.
Georgie: 'Cause I'm available.

Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Um, if you two wouldn't mind waiting here, we'd like to start by talking to your mom, dad, and grandma.
Missy: Why?
Dr. Edward Pilson: Just to get some background information on the both of you.
Sheldon: Smart. Ask how old I was when I completed potty training. You won't believe it.

Dr. John Sturgis: Boy, this brings back some memories.
Sheldon: How come?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, when I was your age, I was also taken to a university to be studied.
Sheldon: Because they thought you were really smart?
Dr. John Sturgis: Because they thought I was clinically insane.

Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that when Albert Einstein was a little boy, his parents worried there was something wrong with him?
Missy: Because he couldn't comb his hair?
Dr. John Sturgis: No, that was a choice he made later in life. When he was young, he wanted nothing to do with other children, and would often have extreme temper tantrums.
Missy: He sounds like you.
Sheldon: I know. Isn't it great?

Sheldon: Hot dog, syllogisms. "If all squares are parallelograms, and all squares are rectangles, then some parallelograms are rectangles." Who was this test made for, children?

George: Take your time, baby. The meter's running.

Mary: Did you have fun?
Sheldon: I got to take a test on a Saturday, heck yeah!

Missy: What you watching?
Georgie: Soul Train.
Sheldon: I like trains.
Georgie: It's not that kind of train, dummy.
Sheldon: Well that seems like false advertising.

Mary: I do not like what this study is doing to Sheldon.
George: What're you talking about? He had a great time.
Mary: All the way home all he could talk about is how that doctor thought he was so smart.
It's not healthy.
George: Would it make you feel any better if I told you how much money we made today?
Mary: No, it would not.
George: $300.
Mary: Really?
George: Cash.
Mary: Okay, well, still, I I'm not interested in profiting off my children.
George: You see, honey, that's where you and I are very different.

Dr. Edward Pilson: Sheldon, what do you think is happening in this picture?
Sheldon: Easy. There are four chimpanzees in a living room.
Dr. Edward Pilson: Okay, but what can you tell me about them?
Sheldon: They're not behaving like chimpanzees.
Dr. Edward Pilson: Anything else?
Sheldon: Chimpanzees don't drink tea.
Dr. Edward Pilson: Is that it?
Sheldon: Well, I suppose it might be coffee, but they don't drink that either.
Dr. Edward Pilson: Anything interesting about their body language?
Sheldon: No.