George: You're really holding the line on this one.
Mary: I'm sorry, but he just pushed my buttons.
George: Don't be sorry. I'm diggin' it.
Georgie: Ew.
Missy: Gross.
Meemaw: I agree. Pretty gross.
George: Y'all are mean.

Mrs. Costello: There's always Harvard.
Sheldon: Hmm. I don't like cold weather, but I do look good in maroon. All right, Harvard it is. Thank you for your help.

Randall: Sorry, Sheldon. I think it's against company policy to hire little kids.
Sheldon: But people say I'm like an old man all the time.
Randall: Hey, I'm one of 'em, but the answer's still no.

Adult Sheldon: When people wonder why Radio Shack eventually went out of business, you can point to this moment.

Sheldon: I need money for my Harvard application, and was wondering if there are any jobs I could do.
Meemaw: Hmm. My yard could use a little weeding.
Sheldon: I'm not terribly fond of outdoor work. Plus, that garden gnome terrifies me.
Meemaw: Ernesto has that effect on people.
Sheldon: How much does the job pay?
Meemaw: Well, let me think. How about a dollar an hour?
Sheldon: How about five dollars an hour?
Meemaw: How about 50 cents an hour?
Sheldon: Wait a minute. What just happened?
Meemaw: I'll tell you what. I'll give you a dollar.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Georgie: Hey.
George: Hey.
Georgie: You know how you think I can't do anything for myself?
George: I do think that, yes.
Georgie: Well, I have something I'd like to show you.
George: You did some chores?
Georgie: Come see for yourself.
George: I don't know if I'm ready for another heart attack, but here we go.

Meemaw: Hey, Shelly, how's it going over there?
Sheldon: I hate everything about this.

Georgie: What if it hits us and we all die?
Meemaw: It's not gonna hit us! I might hit you. But first I'm gonna hold you.

Adult Sheldon: The good news was most of our neighborhood was spared. The bad news: my mother thought she had something to do with it.

Mary: Where'd you get this?
Missy: Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
Mary: Well, this is going in the garbage.
Missy: You sure? It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage.
Mary: My marriage is fine, thank you.

Sheldon: I'm ready to go to college.
Mrs. Costello: Okay. Where you thinking?
Sheldon: Somewhere with a good science program, but far enough away to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone.
Mrs. Costello: You're applying to college out of spite?
Sheldon: I see why you're the guidance counselor.

Meemaw: Hey! Looking sharp. You're not gonna try to sell me a set of knives, are you?
Sheldon: No.
Meemaw: It's a joke. 'Cause of the suit.
Sheldon: Okay.

Georgie: Where's Mom?
Meemaw: Chewing out the guy who runs the comic book store.
Georgie: Why?
Meemaw: She found an inappropriate comic that Sheldon had and went ballistic.
Missy: She also took my Cosmo.
Georgie: What's a Cosmo?
Missy: A magazine for today's woman.
Georgie: Sucks for you.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Mary: Confiscating your comic books. You can have them back when you're 18.
Sheldon: You're taking Casper the Friendly Ghost?
Mary: Ghosts are sacrilegious. Nothing friendly about that.

Meemaw: Had enough? You gonna back down?
Mary: No. He's real smart, but he needs to learn he doesn't know everything.
George: Woman, you are getting sexier by the second. Whew.