George: Okay. Let's just take a deep breath and talk about something else.
Mary: Fine.
Georgie: I want to hear about that frog.
Meemaw: A different something else.

Sheldon: Hello, Randall. I would like to apply for a job.
Randall: You would?
Sheldon: Yes. I need to earn money so I can apply to Harvard.
Randall: I thought about going to Harvard, but then I realized The Shack is my passion.

Adult Sheldon: At that moment, I felt a subtle heat rising through my body. I was used to being humiliated by my siblings on a daily basis, but from my mother? This was new territory.

Sheldon: Very well. There's one more book that belongs in the box, filled with adultery, genocide, and even human sacrifice. [Sheldon places down a bible]

Meemaw: So, Moonpie, how's adult life treating you?
Sheldon: Very well, actually. I'm working on my application to Harvard.
Meemaw: Is that so?
Sheldon: Yes. And I'm planning on transferring there as soon as possible.
Mary: You're not going away to Harvard.
Sheldon: I don't believe you have a say in this.
Mary: Okay, well, Harvard's real expensive. How do you plan on paying for it?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sure I'll get a scholarship.

Meemaw: Maybe I should go keep an eye on him.
Mary: No. Let him handle this on his own.
Missy: I wouldn't mind watching.

Georgie: What are you eating?
Sheldon: An English muffin with ketchup and spray cheese.
Georgie: No fair.
Missy: Lucky.
Mary: Sorry I spent an hour making meatloaf.

Mary: Excuse me. Did you sell this to my son?
Glenn: I don't know. Who's your son?
Mary: The little boy in the corner.
Glenn: Which one?
Mary: Sheldon Cooper.
Glenn: Oh. Yeah.
Mary: Look at him! He is the same size as one of the dolls you sell here.
Glenn: Those are action figures.

Georgie: Mom, you need to sign this consent form.
Mary: What's it for?
Georgie: Field trip.
Mary: Where?
Georgie: Museum.
Mary: Which one?
Georgie: Does it matter? It's not like I'm gonna learn anything, anyway.
Sheldon: It's the planetarium at the science museum. And I need you to sign mine, too.
Mary: Oh. It's interesting that an adult would need his mother to sign a consent form.
Missy: And here we go.
Sheldon: I don't need you to sign it, the school does.
Mary: So you're saying even the school doesn't think that you're mature enough to make all your own decisions.

Mary: I just realized something. College applications cost money just to send in.
Sheldon: They do?
Mary: $50, $60 a pop. I don't believe you have that kind of money, do you?

[Georgie and his dad place a mattress up against the bathroom window]
Georgie: Is this my bed?
George: Yeah.
Georgie: Aw, it took me an hour to make it.

Missy: Boys are dumb.
Meemaw: D-U-M-B.
Missy: Dum-b?

Mary: Hey, what you reading?
Missy: A magazine.
Mary: Oh. Making a collage for school?
Missy: No, just reading it.
Mary: Look at that. Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here. Which magazine?
Missy: Cosmopolitan.
Mary: What?
Missy: It's a magazine for today's woman. [Mary takes the magazine] Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on.

Meemaw: You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of, I might be looking for a real good hiding place right about now.
Georgie: I think I'm okay.
Missy: Your air vent? [Georgie rushes back to his room]

Mary: You know what? You want me to treat you like an adult, you got it. From this moment on, I am done mommy-ing you.
Sheldon: Wonderful. Does that mean I can have my comic books back?
Mary: Comic books are for children. You're an adult.