Missy: Hey, can I talk to you?
Georgie: Yeah. What's up?
Missy: [points to the garage] Actually, in there.
Georgie: [quietly] You ain't pregnant, are you?
Missy: No. How could you say that?!
Georgie: Been known to happen.

Missy: Do you think if I took some of Dad's beer, he'd notice?
Georgie: Do you think he'd notice?
Missy: Okay, dumb question.
Georgie: Anyways, you're too young. You shouldn't be drinking.
Missy: You just asked if I was pregnant.
Georgie: Well, don't do either.
Missy: So you wouldn't buy us a case of beer if I gave you the money?
Georgie: Missy, I'm not old enough to buy beer.
Missy: That's never stopped you before.
Georgie: And I'm ashamed of myself.

Missy: Hey, so, when you were my age, did you go any parties?
Mandy: Oh, yeah. The good ones I remember, the great ones... gone.
Missy: That is so cool.
Mandy: Ah, I was pretty cool.

Mandy: First party. That's a big deal.
Missy: Any advice?
Mandy: Hmm. Well, for starters, music is key. You want it good, you want it loud, but not so loud the cops come. Although, if they do, you're a legend.
Missy: Damn.
Mandy: And if you have make-out spots, you want to keep 'em private, but not too private. You know, closets, pantries. You want to keep your guests standing.
Missy: Makes sense.
Mandy: Mm-hmm.
Missy: And, um, I've heard at some of these parties there's drinking?
Mandy: Oh. Well... yeah, sometimes, but, uh, fun can be had without... it.

Missy: Uh-huh, but just in case, would you buy it for us?
Mandy: No.
Missy: Why not?
Mandy: Because you're a kid.
Missy: You were a kid.
Mandy: Yeah, but it was different.
Missy: How?
Mandy: ... The point is, I'm a mom now.
Missy: A cool mom.
Mandy: Not that cool. Besides, the only underage person that I'm gonna buy alcohol for is the father of my child.
Missy: You really aren't cool.

George: Thanks for seeing me.
Pastor Jeff: Of course, my door is always open.
Peg: Smoke?
George: I'm good. I'll just breathe in yours.
Peg: Suit yourself. [coughs]
George: Could we have a little privacy?
Peg: I'll just be listening at the door.
Pastor Jeff: She does.

Pastor Jeff: Well, Mary's always welcome.
George: Great. [phone ringing] Oh. Maybe you could use her back here in the office.
Peg: Nah, we got things covered.
George: Do you need to answer that?
Peg: No, they'll call back.
Pastor Jeff: Peg, please.
Peg: All right, bossy.

Evan: Guys, guys, guys. Chow Fat stock just split. We have 14,000 shares.
Joaquin: So, we created an algorithm that's evolving by itself and becoming a new form of intelligence?
Sheldon: And I, Sheldon Cooper, wholeheartedly think it's terrific. [quietly] It may be listening.

Mary: So, what brings you by?
Pastor Jeff: Well, I've been thinking, uh, we really miss you over at the church and maybe you might consider coming back.
Mary: Well... that's awful kind of you, but I've joined a new church.
Pastor Jeff: Oh! The Methodists got you, didn't they?
Mary: Oh, no. Reverend Travis Lemon.
Pastor Jeff: Oh, not the fella with the hair.

Pastor Jeff: Mary, he's a snake oil salesman, taking people's money and promising 'em all kinds of riches.
Mary: Well... Then how do you explain this check I got from the IRS?
Pastor Jeff: $800.
Mary: I sent Reverend Travis $50 and that came the very next day.
Pastor Jeff: Oh, come on. It had to be in the mail before you sent your money in.
Mary: Did it?
Pastor Jeff: Of course. I'm as patriotic as the next guy, but our postal service flat-out sucks. Excuse my French.

Sheldon: We may have a problem.
Evan: Oh, what's wrong? The program's running really slow. We're losing money.
Joaquin: Well, what's happening? It was fine this morning.
Sheldon: I don't know if this is related, but I did add a new subroutine.
Evan: To do what?
Sheldon: To resolve the inconsistencies between general relativity and quantum mechanics.
Evan: Why would you do that?
Sheldon: Because our algorithm's so smart and it's the biggest unanswered question in the universe.
Evan: But it's messing with the computer. We're losing money.
Joaquin: What about my car? What about girls?
Sheldon: Rest assured, you solve general relativity, the girls will be lined up around the block to kiss you.

George: You know, honey, nothing much you can do about a broken toe. Unless you think Reverend Travis can fix it.
Mary: Maybe I'll stick it up your butt.
George: Mary Cooper. Language.
Mary: I'm going to bed.
[The window shatters as a firework flies through the window and hits Mary in the butt, knocking her over]
Mary: Ah!
[cut to Pastor Jeff opening his front door:]
Mary: I'm in. My bottom is scorched, don't look at it.

Sheldon: Excuse me, but you're not Evan.
Joaquin: True.
Sheldon: Where's Evan?
Joaquin: Elsewhere.
Sheldon: So you don't know?
Joaquin: True.
Evan: [enters] Oh, good. You met Joaquin.
Sheldon: Proper introductions were not made. What's he doing here?

Missy: What are you watching?
Mary: Travis Lemon.
Missy: The crazy church guy?
Mary: He's not crazy.
Missy: Well, his hair is.

Missy: When's it's over? I want to watch MTV.
Mary: Reverend Travis has a band. They rock pretty hard.
[Missy scoffs and walks off]