George: Mare, what's this $50 to an "R.T.L.M."?
Mary: Reverend Travis Lemon Ministries. I made a donation.
Meemaw: The goofy guy with the hair?
Mary: He's not goofy, and he preaches the gospel in a way that speaks to me.
George: Yeah, well, let me speak to you. We can't be throwing away 50 bucks.
Mary: We are not throwing it away. We are gonna get that money back plus some.
Meemaw: Oh, honey, now, come on. You can't possibly believe that B.S.
Mary: Maybe. Reverend Travis says that Jesus wants us to prosper.
Meemaw: Is that why he huffed and puffed and blew my house down?

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Joaquin: The problem is we've lost control. This is Frankenstein's monster.
Sheldon: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Joaquin: What?
Sheldon: To reanimate life was an incredible scientific achievement. The real bad guys in the story are the ignorant villagers.
Joaquin: You were on the monster's side?
Sheldon: Unfairly hounded for being different? You betcha.

Evan: It's your call. Particle accelerator, or no particle accelerator?
Sheldon: Let me fetch my money sock.
Evan: You keep your money in a sock?
Sheldon: My meemaw keeps her money in her bra.

Mary: Well, we disagree. Reverend Travis says that the Lord wants me to be prosperous and I believe him.
Pastor Jeff: This is nothing but a coincidence. You overpaid your taxes, you got a refund, Jesus has nothing to do with it.
Mary: You sound like Sheldon.
Pastor Jeff: I believe I know my way out. [Mary points to the door]