Lawrence: You want to know more about the Cotton Belt, there's plenty in here.
Sheldon: Although the facts in that brochure are suspect.
Lawrence: [chuckles] Sheldon, I, uh... I wrote this brochure.
Sheldon: While the origins of the Southern Pacific go back to 1848, the company wasn't formally started until 1865.
Sheldon: And before you reprint these, we should talk fonts.

Sheldon: And early trains used the drop chute toilet, also called the hopper toilet, which was really just a hole...

Sheldon: [bell ringing]
Lawrence: Uh... we need to talk.
Sheldon: About this bell? You got it. Did you know different engineers would often...
Lawrence: [stops bell] Son? You're a sweet kid, but... I don't think this is working out.
Sheldon: What? Why? I-I know everything there is to know about trains.
Lawrence: Well, yeah, you see now, that there is the problem. People, when they come here, they want to enjoy it. They don't want to get lectured in the bathroom. And you have been correcting me in front of the visitors all morning long.
Sheldon: Would you prefer I send you a memo of your mistakes at the end of the day?
Lawrence: No.
Sheldon: Because that's what I did for the teachers at my school. I think it brought us all closer.
Lawrence: Sheldon, it's great to have knowledge. But you don't need to show it off all the time.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't mind.
Lawrence: [chuckles] You see, trains are all about balance, right? Now you put too much water into a steam engine, it can't do its job. You let that water run low... Boom, it'll blow up. Now, a good engineer makes sure he uses just the right amount of water. Not too little, not too much. That make sense?
Sheldon: The fireman adjusts the water, not the engineer.
[later, as Meemaw drives Sheldon home:]
Sheldon: And then he took my "ask me" button. He didn't even ask me. He just took it.

Meemaw: Everybody gets fired for something eventually.
Sheldon: For being too good at their job?
Meemaw: Well, Moon Pie, sometimes you just get too excited about sharing the facts in your head.
Sheldon: But learning facts is the ant's pants. Which is the Australian derivation of the bee's knees. See, you just learned something. And wasn't that the cat's pajamas?

Meemaw: Another way to cast on in knitting is called the slingshot.
Sheldon: Did you know the Wham-O company was named after its first product, the Wham-O Slingshot?
Meemaw: I'm the one saying the facts right now. Unless you're tired of hearing them?
Sheldon: Sick of learning? Never.
Meemaw: Well, that's too bad.

Georgie: I think Dad would love that you're into stuff like this.
Mary: I'm sure he would. He took me to see Mad Max twice.
Georgie: Really?
Mary: Actually... the second time, we couldn't find a sitter, so we brought you along.
Georgie: How old was I?
Mary: I don't know... four?
Georgie: No wonder I'm so cool.
Georgie: So, why you hiding it?
Mary: Well, 'cause I'm supposed to be a good Christian. Clearly this is something I need to work on.
Georgie: Well, before you fix it, you've got to watch Die Hard 2. Bruce Willis stabs a guy in the head with an icicle.

Umpire: Strike three, you're out.
George: There you go! Ha! That's how you do it!
Woman: Is that your little girl?
George: That's my little lady. [Missy spits on the mound] Well, sometimes.

Mary: The kids are asleep. You gonna watch that?
George: Well, it's MacGyver. He makes stuff out of other stuff. Why, did you want to watch something else?
Mary: I thought maybe we could watch a movie.
George: Sure, yeah, which one?
Mary: Um... I don't know. I heard that that movie Road House is supposed to be good.
George: What's it about?
Mary: I think it's about a guy, um... Dalton. Who's a bouncer who has to clean up a bar that's been overrun by a bunch of bad guys.
George: Oh, yeah, it's got that guy that looks like Georgie in it.
Mary: No, he doesn't.
George: [laughs] Are you kidding? He looks exactly like him.
Mary: Let's just watch MacGyver.
George: Cool.

Missy: I'm glad Mom didn't come.
George: Why's that?
Missy: I can spit when I'm on the mound.
George: You can hock up anything you want today.
Missy: [snorts]
George: Not here.
Missy: Aw.

George: We should hit the road soon. It's a long drive.
Missy: Okay.
Mary: I got your lunches here.
Missy: Extra Fruit Roll-Ups?
Mary: You each got two.
Missy: Thank you.
George: Thank you.

Mary: What time is the game?
Missy: 12:30.
Sheldon: Why are we talking about baseball and not my impending docent-hood?
Missy: Who wants to tell him it's stupid?
George: Leave it alone.
Missy: And why do they make you wear that goofy costume?
Sheldon: Ha. They don't. This is all me.

Sheldon: Thanks for bringing me.
Meemaw: Hey, it got me out of driving all the way to Missy's game; I should be thanking you.
Sheldon: [knocks] My little knuckles might not be cutting it. Would you give it a go?
Meemaw: Sure. [knocks] How's that?
Sheldon: Four knocks. Bold.
Lawrence: [opens door] Hello, hello.
Sheldon: Volunteer docent Sheldon Cooper reporting for duty.
Lawrence: Welcome aboard.
Sheldon: Train nomenclature right out of the gate. Promising.

Missy: We need to stop so I can pee.
George: I told you to pee before we left the house.
Missy: That was an hour and a half ago.
George: [sighs] Can't you hold it?
Missy: I may spit like a man, but I have the bladder of a little girl.

George: Ready to roll?
Missy: Not really.
George: What's wrong?
Missy: It... happened.
George: What happened?
Missy: That thing that happens to girls when they're becoming young ladies.
George: What?! Now?
Missy: I'm not happy about it, either.
George: [stammers] Should we go home?
Missy: I'm pitching in an hour.
George: I... You think that's a good idea? Maybe you need to lie down.
Missy: I don't need to lie down.
George: Okay, well, maybe I need to lie down.

George: Okay, we're gonna find a pay phone and call your mother.
Missy: She's not here right now. What can she do?
George: Well, I don't know what to do.
Missy: We're gonna go to a drugstore and get what I need.
George: Go to a drug store. Okay, I can do that.
Missy: Breathe. We're gonna get through this.
George: [exhales sharply]