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402 - A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton

Aired Thursday, November 12, 2020
A Docent, A Little Lady and a Bouncer Named Dalton

Sheldon gets a job as a tour guide at the local train museum. Meanwhile, Georgie discovers Mary's guilty pleasure, and George Sr. helps Missy as she reaches a new stage of womanhood.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "A Docent" refers to Sheldon's job at the train museum, "A Little Lady" refers to Missy, and "a Bouncer Named Dalton" refers to the Patrick Swayze movie Road House.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed as a train engineer as a cow approaches the family.

Quotes

Adult Sheldon: Presenting... "Sheldon Cooper's Top Five Sources of News From My Childhood". Number five: Star Trek Fan Club Magazine.
Sheldon: Mom, DeForest Kelley's favorite episode is "The Empath."
Mary: Good to know.
Adult Sheldon: Number four: the Weather Cube from RadioShack.
Man: [from device] The humidity is 90% with a dew point of 79.5 degrees.
Sheldon: Mom! The dew point is 79.5 degrees.
Mary: [o.s.] Okay.
Adult Sheldon: Number three: The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour. Such a great theme song.
Sheldon: [hums] Buh-buh-bum.
Adult Sheldon: Number two: Meemaw after a few beers.
Meemaw: It took a while, but we finally picked a new name for my bowling team: The Ball Busters.
Sheldon: Hey, Mom. Guess what Meemaw named her bowling team? The Ball...
Adult Sheldon: And the number one source of news from my childhood: the bulletin board at the train store. News about trains in a store full of trains. Yummy.
Sheldon: How did this not make The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour?

Mary: [eating pop corn] Get him, Dalton. Get him.
George Jr.: Mary Cooper, what are you doing?
Mary: Nothing.
George Jr.: Why are you watching Road House?
Mary: Why aren't you at work?
George Jr.: I asked you first, and my question is way more interesting.
Mary: It was just on. I don't even know what that is.
George Jr.: Then how'd you know his name's Dalton?
Mary: I don't have to explain myself to you.
George Jr.: This is a pretty dirty movie.
Mary: How do you know? It is rated R.
George Jr.: For violence, language and sexual content. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Meemaw: Alls I'm saying is people aren't always in the mood.
Sheldon: Well, they should be. I'm happy to learn any fact at any time.
Meemaw: Is that so?
Sheldon: Yes.
Meemaw: Grab my knitting bag.
Sheldon: I don't recommend driving while knitting. Your reflexes aren't what they used to be.
Meemaw: Just look in the bag! Did you know that there are three different kinds of yarn?
Sheldon: I didn't.
Meemaw: You got your animal, like wool. Your plant, like cotton. And your synthetic, like acrylic.
Sheldon: Interesting.
Meemaw: You think so? I'm glad to hear that. Because each one of them has plusses and minuses, and you're about to hear them all in mind-numbing detail.

Sheldon: The train museum's looking for a docent.
Mary: What's a docent?
Sheldon: It's a person in a museum who gives information on the exhibits.
Mary: Do you think they'd let someone your age do that?
Sheldon: Why not? I have a high school diploma.
Mary: True.
Sheldon: I know more about trains than anybody.
Mary: True.
Sheldon: And I have the unique ability to wear people down until I get my way.
Mary: So true.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello. I understand you're looking for a docent. I'm 11 years old, but you should know I have a high school diploma and I know more about trains than anybody. You still sound on the fence.
Adult Sheldon: It was time to break out my unique ability.
Sheldon: Let me tell you about every model train I own and what each of them means to me. The first locomotive I ever received...
Adult Sheldon: Wouldn't you know it, 47 short minutes later, I got the job.

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Episode Trivia

  • What was the name of the museum where Sheldon got a job?
    • Medford Train Museum
    • Texas Train Museum
    • Lonestar Train Museum
    • East Texas Train Museum
  • What movie did Georgie catch Mary watching?
    • Ghost
    • Over the Top
    • Point Break
    • Road House

Episode Recap

Adult Sheldon explains the top five sources of news from his childhood: the Star Trek fan magazine, a weather cube from RadioShack, the McNeil/Lehrer NewsHour, Meemaw after a few drinks, and finally the bulletin board at the model train store.

As Mary drives Sheldon home from the train store, he tells his mother the model train museum is looking for a docent - a tour guide. Mary questions whether they would let somebody his age do that job, but Sheldon points out he has a high school diploma, a wide knowledge of trains, and an unparalleled ability to wear people down to get what he wants. Back home, Sheldon calls up the train museum to ask for the job. Sheldon tells them he’s an 11-year-old with a high school diploma who knows more about trains than anyone. As they still seem on the fence, Sheldon breaks out his unique ability and starts telling them about the first train he ever received. Adult Sheldon explains that 47 short minutes later, he had the job.

As Sheldon and Missy eat breakfast, George. Sr tells her they better get going soon as they have a long drive to her baseball game. Sheldon doesn’t understand why they’re talking about Missy’s game and not his impending docent-hood. Missy wants to tell him that’s stupid, especially the goofy costume he’s wearing, but Sheldon admits he was the one who decided to wear the smart clothes. When George asks Mary what she’s going to do today, she says laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming and maybe even dusting the picture frames.

At the Lonestar Train Museum, Sheldon thanks Meemaw for giving him a ride. After museum owner Lawrence lets them into the building, he compliments Sheldon’s conductor’s uniform. As Lawrence goes to get an “Ask me anything” button for Sheldon to wear, Sheldon offers to tell Meemaw about a train exhibit, but she hasn’t contributed the suggested donation yet. After Sheldon stares her down, Meemaw puts some money in the donation box, and he goes on to talk about the Texas and New Orleans locomotive 701. Sheldon tells his grandmother that although she’s supposed to pick him up at 4:00, he might live there now.

As George Sr. drives Missy to her softball game, Missy admits she’s happy that her mother didn’t come as she’ll be able to spit on the mound. George tells her she can hawk up whatever she wants, just not in the truck. When Missy asks her dad to pull over so she can pee, George reminds her he said to go before they left home. Missy points out that was an hour and a half ago and though she may spit like a man, she has the bladder of a little girl.

As Mary vacuums the living room, Georgie says he’s going to work. When Mary stops the vacuum to ask Georgie when he’ll be back, Georgie says in time for dinner. Mary continues vacuuming until the moment Georgie leaves, when she stops again and pulls a video tape out of the clothes hamper. Holding the tape, Mary says “And my day off begins”. Back at the museum, Lawrence tells Sheldon to let him know if he has any questions. Sheldon asks how he can be sure the builder’s plate is authentic. When Lawrence gives the right answer, Sheldon is relieved, although that doesn’t stop him quizzing Lawrence. After Sheldon tells Lawrence about the etymology of the word train, Lawrence admits he just learned something. Sheldon says if he enjoys learning things, the two of them are on the fast track to friendship.

As George waits in the truck for Missy, she emerges from the bathroom with a look of concern on her face. When George asks her if she’s okay, Missy says not really and explains that “it” happened - the thing that happens to girls when they’re becoming young ladies. George wonders if she wants to go home, but Missy insists she’s playing baseball in an hour. George asks Missy if she needs to lie down. When Missy says she doesn’t, he admits maybe he needs to lie down.

Later, a panicked George says they’re going to find a payphone and call Mary. Missy points out her mother isn’t here so there’s nothing she can do. When George admits he doesn’t know what to do, Missy calmly tells him they’re going to go to a drug store and get what she needs. George says he can do that. Missy tells her father to breathe, assuring him they’re going to get through this.

At the museum, Sheldon asks Lawrence if he can flip the sign as it’s almost opening time. Lawrence tells him to have at it. A giddy Sheldon runs over to the front door, pulls out his stopwatch and counts down to opening time. After flipping the sign over, he declares the store open for business. When there is no rush of eager train aficionados, Sheldon opens the door and looks around. He goes back inside and declares it anticlimactic.

Back home, Mary is eating popcorn as she watches the Patrick Swayze movie Road House. As an engrossed Mary says “Get him, Dalton. Get him!”, she is caught by surprise when Georgie asks what she’s doing. Mary asks why he’s not at work, but Georgie says he asked his question first and his is way more interesting. Mary insists she doesn’t know what this is, but Georgie points out she knows his name is Dalton. When Georgie mentions this is a pretty dirty movie, Mary wonders how he knows since it’s rated R. Georgie knows it is restricted, for “violence, language and sexual content”, and says his mother should be ashamed of herself.

After George and Missy pull up outside a drug store, George says “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s perfectly normal. Perfectly normal”. Missy says she knows. George was talking to himself. He asks Missy how much money she needs. Missy says she’s not going in there. George doesn’t want to go in, it’s embarrassing. Missy points out he just said it wasn’t. George says it is and he lied.

When a visitor at the train museum asks Sheldon a question, the man wants to know if they have any bathrooms. Sheldon starts to tell the man about the exhibits he’ll pass on his way to the bathroom, but the squirming man points out he’s in need of a leak. Sheldon directs him to the back of the store. Later, Sheldon demonstrates the proper way to ring the locomotive bell to a family. As Lawrence talks to a couple about the cotton belt, Sheldon pops out to say the facts and numbers in the brochure are suspect. After Lawrence says he wrote the brochure, Sheldon corrects him on the founding date of the Southern Pacific company. Sheldon says before Lawrence reprints the brochure, they should talk about fonts.

As Mary resumes vacuuming the living room, Georgie asks her how many times she’s seen Road House. Mary claims she can’t hear him. Georgie wonders if it’s more than five, which is how many times he’s seen it. Mary says that’s how many years he’ll be grounded if he doesn’t drop it. When Georgie wonders why she doesn’t want anyone knowing, Mary admits it’s not something she should be watching, calling it a guilty pleasure. Georgie tells her to relax, he’s not going to tell anyone and he thinks it’s cool she likes the movie. Mary concedes it was pretty cool how Dalton didn’t drive his Mercedes to the bar because he knew they’d trash it. Georgie says Dalton ain’t no dummy. No sir, says Mary.

When George reaches the register at the drugstore, the young woman behind the counter asks if he found everything he was looking for today. Trying to avoid eye contact, George says he thinks so as he unloads an array of female care products onto the counter. When the cashier says, “You don't know what you're doing, do you?”, George replies, “No, ma’am.” After the cashier asks if he’d like some help, George says “Yes, ma’am. Thank you, ma’am”.

Back at the museum, Sheldon is ringing the bell for his own amusement when Lawrence comes to talk to him. Lawrence says Sheldon is a sweet kid but things aren’t working out. Sheldon is confused given he knows everything about trains. Lawrence says that’s the problem. People come to a museum to enjoy it, not to be lectured while coming out of the bathroom. When Lawrence points out that Sheldon has been correcting him in front of visitors all day long, Sheldon asks if he’d prefer a daily memo of all the mistakes he made - that’s what he did with his teachers. Lawrence says it’s great to have knowledge but you don’t need to show it off all the time. Sheldon doesn’t understand, so Lawrence tries to explain it with a train analogy about the right amount of water in a steam engine, but Sheldon corrects that analogy too. Later, as Meemaw drives Sheldon home, he tells her Lawrence then took his “Ask Me” button. He didn’t ask, he just took it.

As their drive home continues, Meemaw says everybody gets fired at some point. “For being too good at their job?”, Sheldon wonders. Meemaw tells Sheldon he sometimes gets too excited about the facts in his head. Sheldon doesn’t understand, saying learning facts is the “ants’ pants”, which is the Australian derivation of the “bee’s knees”. Meemaw points out that people aren’t always in the mood to learn. Sheldon insists he is always ready to learn a fact. Meemaw wonders if that is so and tells Sheldon to grab his knitting bag. As Meemaw starts to explain the three different types of yarn, Sheldon says that’s interesting. Meemaw says that’s good because she’s about to explain the pluses and minuses of them in mind-numbing detail.

As Missy waits outside the drugstore, George comes out with a bag of product and says it’s nothing to worry about, we’ve got this. A relieved Missy tells her dad he’s the best. George says he’ll show her where the bathroom is in the store. Meanwhile, as Meemaw drives Sheldon home, she is still spinning yarn about knitting, although she seems to be losing interest faster than Sheldon. When Sheldon offers a fact about the Wham-O corporation, Meemaw insists she’s the one sharing facts now, unless Sheldon’s tired of hearing them. Sick of learning? Never.

Back home, as Georgie and Mary eat at the kitchen table, they talk about Road House. Georgie says he thinks his dad would enjoy knowing Mary liked the film. Mary agrees, saying George took her to see Mad Max twice. In fact, one time they couldn’t get a sitter and took four-year-old Georgie along with them. Georgie thinks that explains why he’s so cool. When Georgie asks his mom why she’s hiding this, Mary says she’s supposed to be a good Christian and this is something she needs to work on.

When Meemaw and Sheldon arrive at her house, she’s still talking about knitting. After Sheldon points out she already told him that fact, he asks if they can circle back to double-pointed needles as he has a question. Meemaw tells him to hold that thought and closes the door on him. Meanwhile, at the baseball game, George is pleased when Missy strikes out a player. As George cheers in the stand, a woman asks him if Missy is his little girl. George tells her that Missy is his little lady. As they watch Missy spit on the mound, George says, “Well, sometimes”.

Later that night, as George watches MacGyver, Mary comes in after putting the kids to bed. Mary says she was thinking they could watch a movie and suggests Road House, pretending she doesn’t know much about it. As she explains the plot to George, he recalls the film and says it’s got that guy who looks like Georgie in it. Although Mary insists not, George says Patrick Swayze looks just like Georgie. A slightly disturbed Mary decides they should just watch MacGyver instead.

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