Mary: What do we even know about this girl?
George Jr.: Well, that's the thing...
George Sr.: Buckle up.
George Jr.: She's 29.
Mary: Years old?! Oh, my... [stands up]
George Jr.: Guess we're standing again.
Mary: What kind of 29-year-old dates someone your age?!
George Jr.: Obviously the kind that was lied to.

Sheldon: [knocking] [o.s.] Hello?
Mary: Yeah, baby?
Sheldon: [o.s.] I was just wondering where everyone was.
Mary: Uh, we're just in here talking. We'll be out in a little bit. Everything okay?
Sheldon: [o.s.] I'm fine. But Missy's watching a movie called Porky's.
Mary: I don't know what that is.
George Jr.: That one's rough.
George Sr.: Not good.
Mary: I'll be right back in, baby.
Sheldon: Hmm. [walks away]

George Sr.: Kind of déjà vu, huh?
Mary: Kind of. I wanna be furious at him, but how can I?
George Sr.: The trick is to forget we did the same thing, then it's easy.
Mary: At the time, it seemed like our lives were over, but... then Georgie was born.
George Sr.: With that crazy head of hair.
Mary: [laughs] And just like that... it was the best thing that could have happened to us.
George Sr.: What kind of cigarette are you smoking there?

Mary: Oh, so, what do we do now?
George Sr.: We don't have a lot of choices. We're gonna be grandparents and, uh... [Mary sighs] What's the girl's name again?
Mary: Mandy.
George Sr.: And Mandy is gonna be part of our lives in some shape or form until we're, you know, dead.
Mary: What do you mean, "shape or form"? Georgie's gotta marry her.
George Sr.: No, Mary, he doesn't.
Mary: How am I supposed to set foot in my church if our son has a child out of wedlock?
George Sr.: It's nobody's business.
Mary: It's a small town, George, everything is everybody's business.

George Sr.: You ever stop to think maybe she doesn't want to marry a 17-year-old?
Mary: He'll be 18 in March.
George Sr.: All right, you're just being ridiculous. [goes back inside]
Mary: I'm being a Christian.
[After Mary walks over and knocks on the garage door, a dozy Georgie opens it]
Mary: When you were born, you were a gift from God but that does not change the fact that I am very mad at you!
George Jr.: All right. [closes door]

Mandy: Ah, damn it.
Meemaw: I'm not here to fight with you, or pass judgment on you, I just want to talk about... where we're going with all this.
Mandy: There's nothing to talk about. All this is my business.
Meemaw: That's true. I just thought it might be nice if you got to meet Georgie's family.
Mandy: I haven't even told my own parents yet.
Meemaw: Just so you know, I went through this very thing with my own daughter, Georgie's mom. So, we get it.
Mandy: Really?
Meemaw: We just want to be helpful.
Mandy: Well, I'm not very happy with Georgie right now.
Meemaw: Nobody is. We get it.

Mary: Thanks, Brenda, I really appreciate it. Oh, nothing major, just, um, some family stuff that we need to talk about and it'd be better if the kids weren't here. Great, I'll send 'em over at 6:00?
Okay. [hangs up]
Missy: Where are we going?
Mary: [gasps] Don't be sneaking up on me.
Missy: I wasn't sneaking. Where are we going?
Mary: Brenda invited you and your brother over to dinner with Billy tonight.
Missy: Why?
Mary: Because they're nice people!
Missy: Wow. Take a pill. [Mary groans]

George Sr.: I guess we don't even know your last name.
Mandy: McAllister.
George Sr.: Scottish, right?
Mandy: Right.
George Sr.: 'Cause if it was Irish, it'd be O'McAllister.

Brenda Sparks: We're having spaghetti.
Sheldon: With hot dogs cut up in it?
Brenda Sparks: Ew, no.
Sheldon: I'd like to go home, please.
Missy: We can't.
Billy Sparks: How come?
Brenda Sparks: Yeah, how come?
Missy: We don't know.
Sheldon: The leading theory is my father's dying.
Brenda Sparks: I don't think that's it.
Missy: Well, something's wrong.
Billy Sparks: Maybe they're getting divorced like my mom and dad.
Brenda Sparks: Billy! We don't talk about that.
Billy Sparks: [smiles] Never mind.

Mary: So, Mandy, my mother mentioned that your folks don't know about the baby.
Mandy: No, not yet.
Mary: Well, I'm sure they'll be excited when you tell them you're bringing new life into the world.
Mandy: [to Meemaw] Is that how you felt when she got pregnant?
Meemaw: About the baby? [scoffs] Yeah. The guy who did it? [blows raspberry]
George Sr.: Mutual.
Mary: They kid around like that.
George Sr.: Yeah, all good fun.
[George gives Meemaw an evil look]

Mary: Well, regardless of what goes on with your parents, we want you to know that we are here for you and the baby, who we will love and cherish.
Mandy: Thank you.
George Jr.: Me, too. In fact, if you want, I can go with you to tell your parents.
Mandy: Yeah, and then my father can shoot you. [Georgie laughs] I'm not kidding.

Meemaw: Sorry about all the yelling.
Mandy: Are they always like that?
Meemaw: Not in front of company. So, it's kind of like you're already family.
Mandy: Lucky me.
Meemaw: Mm. Speaking of which, when are you gonna tell your folks?
Mandy: I was thinking about waiting until my mom tells me to lay off the pie.
Meemaw: Well, just remember, if you ever need anything, call me. I've already been through this with my daughter, so I know how to do it wrong.
Mandy: [laughs softly] Thanks. [hugs Meemaw and then walks away]
George Jr.: [through the window] You get a hug and I get nothing?!

George Jr.: I know it didn't go great the other night, but I meant what I said... I'll be there for you.
Mandy: Georgie, not now.
George Jr.: I'm serious. I'll go to baby classes with you. You need to learn that breathing stuff.
Mandy: Okay, one chicken fried steak and a cheeseburger.
George Jr.: Ain't you gonna refill their water?
Mandy: Go away!
George Jr.: Also, you'll be throwing up in the morning... I'm good with that. You may not know, but your feet are gonna swell up, and your boobs. I'll rub whatever you need rubbed.
Mandy: Good to know.
Cook: Table three, order up.
George Jr.: Want me to get that? You know, in your condition.
Mandy: Georgie, I got it.
George Jr.: Sorry, I'll quit bothering you.
Mandy: Great.
George Jr.: Just one more thing. I love you.
Mandy: What?
George Jr.: You ain't got to say it back.
Mandy: Yeah, I'm not gonna.
George Jr.: Don't forget their water!

Missy: I have new information.
Sheldon: What is it?
Missy: I heard them talking about a baby.
Sheldon: Oh, my.
Missy: You know what that means.
Sheldon: Mom's pregnant.
Missy: Exactly.

Meemaw: Good night, Wade.
Wade: It ain't good. I lost all my money.
Meemaw: Well, good for me.
Wade: Yeah, yeah.

Mary: Can I tell you something in confidence?
Pastor Rob: Of course.
Mary: Um, my son... ...got a girl pregnant.
Pastor Rob: Whoa. Safe to assume this was a surprise?
Mary: [chuckles] Oh, yeah.
Pastor Rob: And safe to assume it's not Sheldon?
Mary: [laughs] Also yes.

Mary: Let's say grace. Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen.
All: Amen.
Sheldon: I told Dr. Linkletter about Georgie.
George Jr.: Why'd y'all tell Sheldon?
Missy: They didn't. I figured it out.
George Jr.: Great. Now everyone knows.
Mary: Not everyone.
Sheldon: Just us and Dr. Linkletter.

George Jr.: So, that's it? Nobody else said anything?
[Mary and George both shake their heads]
George Jr.: Good. 'Cause her parents still don't know, and if this gets out, she's gonna be more pissed than ever.
Mary: Everything's gonna be fine. Let's just eat.
Missy: I... kind of told Heather M. at school. I told her to keep it a secret.
George Jr.: Did you keep it a secret?
Missy: No.
George Jr.: Unbelievable.
Mary: Actually, I told someone at church today.
George Sr.: And I might have told Wayne.
George Jr.: I can't believe y'all.
Sheldon: I know. You'd expect it from me, but from them, it's a shocker.
George Jr.: I ain't hungry. [storms out]

Mary: Hey, what did Wayne say when you told him?
George Sr.: He loves babies, so he was all, "It's a blessing." Blah, blah, blah.
Mary: Well, he's not wrong.
George Sr.: Why am I friends with him? You should be.

George Sr.: How'd Pastor Jeff take it?
Mary: I didn't tell him. I told Pastor Rob.
George Sr.: Of course.
Mary: What's that mean?
George Sr.: Nothing.
Mary: What?
George Sr.: Just seems like you talk to Pastor Rob a lot.
Mary: [scoffs; chuckles] Well, we work together. You talk to Wayne.
George Sr.: Sure. And what did Pastor Rob say?
Mary: Actually, it was helpful. He pointed out that I was putting people before God and that I shouldn't worry about what the congregation thinks.
George Sr.: So, exactly what I said.
Mary: All you said was, "Who cares?"
George Sr.: Next time, I'll stick God in there so you pay attention.