Roy: You work here now?
George Sr.: Yeah, just nights and weekends since you and the boosters are gun for my neck.
Roy: Hey, it's nothing personal.
George Sr.: Mm, good to know. I'll be sure to tell the bank that has my mortgage.
Roy: How many losing seasons are we supposed to put up with before we make a change? Frankly, I'm surprised you lasted this long.
George Sr.: You're lucky I'm working right now.
Roy: I ain't here to cause trouble.
George Sr.: Something I can help you with?
Roy: Just a little fishing tackle.
George Sr.: [sighs] Follow me.

Meemaw: So, I was thinking about what you were saying last night.
Dale: You know, you could've just said, "I don't want to travel."
Meemaw: You're picturing a future where we slow down, and I'm just getting going.
Dale: Well, I've been going for 40 years. When George started talking about taking over the store, I-I... I saw a way out.
Meemaw: Then do it.
Dale: [chuckles] I don't want to do it without you, dummy.
Meemaw: Well, then you're gonna have to wait a little.
Dale: I don't think I can do that.
Meemaw: What are you saying?
Dale: You know I love you, right?
Meemaw: I love you, too.
Dale: But we're done.

Dale: Did you see that ridiculous car she bought?
George Sr.: Nope, but I sure have heard a lot about it.
Dale: What is her problem? She think she can do better than me?
George Sr.: Don't know what she thinks.
Dale: I'm a catch.
George Sr.: Okay.
Dale: You don't think I'm a catch?
George Sr.: You're a catch. You're very catchable.
Dale: Darn tootin'.

Paige: Well, I thought that maybe we could just hang out.
Sheldon: Why would we do that?
Paige: 'Cause we're friends.
Sheldon: Are we? One time, you punched me in the face.
Paige: Yeah, that's what friends do. Can I come in?
Sheldon: Why aren't you spending the afternoon with your colleagues?
Paige: Well, Professor Patterson took the team out for drinks. That kind of leaves me on my own.
Sheldon: Fine, come in.

Mandy: Okay, so, uh, when do I get to see your yearbook?
George Jr.: Actually... I dropped out my senior year.
Mandy: Oh.
George Jr.: I'm sorry for not telling you sooner.
Mandy: No, it's okay.
George Jr.: Yeah?
Mandy: Yeah. So what other secrets are you hiding from me? You got a wife and kids?
George Jr.: No. But I'm not really 21. I'm 17.
Mandy: [laughs] [George is silent] What the...?!

Mandy: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
George Jr.: It ain't that big of a deal.
Mandy: I just slept with a 17-year-old.
George Jr.: If you were a guy, you'd think that was cool.

Mandy: I can't believe you lied to me.
George Jr.: Only 'cause I like you.
Mandy: Get out.
George Jr.: Come on, I'm the same guy I was five minutes ago.
Mandy: Yeah, a liar.
George Jr.: You lied to me about your age.
Mandy: Yeah, and then I felt really bad about it, and I told you the truth.
George Jr.: 'Cause you're more mature than me.
Mandy: Go.
George Jr.: Can I at least put on my shoes?
Mandy: No.

Darren: Do you play D&D?
Paige: No. I actually just sit in my dorm room and study because I have no friends.
Darren: That's a bummer.
Paige: Yeah. I think I'm gonna go. [exits]
Sheldon: Bye.
Darren: You should go after her.
Sheldon: Why? She's a bummer, you just said so.

Sheldon: Can you settle an argument? I said you're fine. Darren and Oscar said you're not fine.
Paige: [scoffs] Why wouldn't I be fine? I'm completely alone, and the one person I thought would understand is having the time of his life.
Sheldon: So... just to clarify...?
Paige: They're right, you're wrong.
Sheldon: Dang it.

Paige: How do you have more friends than me?
Sheldon: I don't know. I don't even want them.
Paige: I thought that college was gonna be this amazing experience, but I hate it.
Sheldon: You're doing such interesting work with Professor Patterson.
Paige: What, you really think he wants to take suggestions from me? I'm not even a woman in science. I'm a little girl in science. They just trot me out like the novelty act to help get funding.
Sheldon: They did that to me here, too.
Paige: They did?
Sheldon: Yes, and I was very rude to the donor.
Paige: [chuckles] You're kidding. What happened?
Sheldon: He appreciated my honesty, gave the school a bunch of money.
Paige: Of course he did. I got to go. Mona's probably freaking out because instead of friends, I have a Mona. [exits]
Sheldon: Bye.

Meemaw: Oh, for God's sake, take off that stupid Ballard shirt.
George Sr.: Oh, look, Connie's here.
Mary: [sighs] She's upset about Dale.
Meemaw: I ain't upset about jack squat.

George Sr.: Surprised you're here. Figured you'd be out with your little girlfriend.
George Jr.: Well, I'm not.
Meemaw: Uh-oh. Did somebody find out how old you are?
Missy: Ooh, what does that mean?
George Jr.: I don't want to talk about it.
Meemaw: What it means is, your brother over here has been going out with an older woman and lying about his age.
Mary: Georgie!
George Jr.: It don't matter. I told her the truth, and she dumped me.

Sheldon: I thought you were going back to Austin?
Paige: Uh, I'm not going back. I'm gonna drop out.
Sheldon: What? Where will you go?
Paige: I was thinking here, in your dorm.
Sheldon: Here?
Paige: Well, I mean, just for a couple days until I can figure out how to tell my mom.
Sheldon: I don't know.
Paige: Please? I don't have anywhere else to go, and... as embarrassing as this is to admit... you're the only person who can help me right now.
Sheldon: [sighs] Okay.
Paige: Thanks.
Sheldon: It's the least I can do. My life is going so much better than yours.

Sheldon: Paige is staying in my dorm room, and I'm making her a care package.
Missy: Why?
Sheldon: She wants to drop out of college, and she hasn't told her parents yet.
Missy: And she came to you?
Sheldon: She said I'm the only one who would understand.
Missy: Do you?
Sheldon: Nope.

George Jr.: Can we talk?
Mandy: [sighs] We better.
George Jr.: What's going on?
Mandy: I'm pregnant.

George Jr.: Are you sure?
Mandy: [picks up pregnancy test] I'm sure.
George Jr.: Sometimes these things ain't accurate. Maybe take another one.
Mandy: [picks up another test] Here you go.
George Jr.: Two is convincing, but-but three...
Mandy: I'm pregnant, Georgie!
George Jr.: [sighs] What happens now?
Mandy: I don't know. I've never been knocked up by a 17-year-old before.
George Jr.: Well, if it helps, I turn 18 in March.

George Jr.: It's Georgie.
Mandy: [opens door] What?
George Jr.: I know I was a little freaked out the last time I was here.
Mandy: You should be.
George Jr.: But I had some time to think, and there's something I need to ask you.
Mandy: Yeah?
George Jr.: Are you sure that baby's mine?
[cut to Georgie in Dale's office again:]
George Jr.: She did not like that question at all.

Dale: So the baby's yours?
George Jr.: What am I gonna do?
Dale: Is there any chance she might decide not to have it? Put it up for adoption?
George Jr.: Not happening. She's keeping it.
Dale: Well, I hope you enjoyed being young and carefree, because that ship has sailed.
George Jr.: Not helpful.
Dale: No.

George Sr.: I saw Georgie stopped by earlier.
Dale: Well, yeah, he does that once in a while.
George Sr.: Yeah. Didn't realize y'all were so close.
Dale: Oh, uh, I wouldn't say close. He might. I wouldn't.
George Sr.: So, uh, what'd he come by for?
Dale: Just to chat.
George Sr.: Really?
Dale: Mm.
George Sr.: Well, I guess it's good he's comfortable talking to someone.
Dale: Uh-huh.
George Sr.: Instead of his own father.
Dale: Uh, I... I'm sure he'll talk to you.
George Sr.: Thanks. [walks off]
Dale: [to himself] And you're not gonna like it.

Missy: Why don't you trust me?
Mary: Because you can't even remember to take out the trash.
Missy: I remember. I just don't do it. And for your information, Pastor Jeff hired me to babysit this Friday.
Mary: He did?
Missy: He did.
Mary: Okay. But if you need any help, if you run into any problems whatsoever, I am right next door and I want you to call me.
Missy: I'll be fine.
Mary: Missy...
Missy: Okay! Look, I'm taking out the trash.
Mary: I just put that bag in.
Missy: There's no pleasing you.