Dr. John Sturgis: O gauge trains are definitely the best.
Sheldon: "O", yes, they are.

Sheldon: When did you decide to focus your research on quantum-
Mary: Um, Sheldon, I think you're kind of dominating the conversation. Why don't you let your meemaw talk to Dr. Sturgis?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. By all means.
Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you. Connie?
Meemaw: Yes, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Do you smell like chlorine on purpose?

Georgie: I can't believe they're making me sit and eat at the kiddie table.
Missy: It's better here.
Georgie: How?
Missy: We don't have to pray, eat our vegetables, and we can curse.
Georgie: Hmm. Maybe you're right.
Missy: Course I am, you ass-face.

George: I was just thinking that, uh, you and me, you know, we don't spend much time together. You know, we should find something to do, just-just two of us.
Missy: Like what?
George: You tell me. What-what sounds fun?
Missy: I'd like to be taken to dinner.
George: Great. Where?
Missy: To the fanciest restaurant in all of Texas.
George: Which is?
Missy: Red Lobster, where the surf meets the turf.
George: You got it.
Missy: Thanks, Dad. Mom, you got to take me shopping! I need a dress!

Dr. John Sturgis: Next order of business. I would like to have dinner with you tonight, just the two of us.
Meemaw: Oh, well, that sounds nice. What'd you have in mind?
Dr. John Sturgis: I'd like to come to your house and cook you a Sichuan feast.
Meemaw: I'm sorry, a what?
Dr. John Sturgis: Sichuan. It's a style of Chinese cooking I learned when I was traveling through China.
Meemaw: Well, wonderful. I would love that.
Dr. John Sturgis: Great. Do you have a wok?
Meemaw: I do not.
Dr. John Sturgis: Not a problem. I have a travel wok.

Meemaw: Oh, my.
Dr. John Sturgis: I know, I look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Dr. John Sturgis: The trick to a successful Sichuan dinner is the Sichuan pepper.
Meemaw: Okay.
Dr. John Sturgis: Now, you may notice your lips and tongue getting numb.
Meemaw: Then why are we eating it?
Dr. John Sturgis: 'Cause it's yummy.

Missy: And then Heather B said she didn't want to play tetherball with Heather M anymore.
George: Wait. Th-There's two Heathers?
Missy: Oh, yeah.
George: Which one's which?
Missy: Heather B is stuck up. Heather M used to be stuck up, but then she got a scoliosis brace.
George: Maybe she shouldn't be playing tetherball.
Missy: That's what Heather B said.

George: The trick is not to make eye contact.
Missy: Tell him.

George: Mmm. Good ratio of hot dog chunks to spaghetti.
Mary: I've been experimenting. Glad you noticed.

Meemaw: Good Lord. You mean he just showed up out of nowhere?
Mary: Yep. He's out in the garage playing trains with Sheldon.
Meemaw: [rolls her eyes]

George: Why's your hair wet?
Meemaw: If you must know, I was doing my water aerobics, and my swimming cap fell off.
Mary: This Sturgis fella didn't say a word to you?
Meemaw: If he did, do you think I would have been doing frog kicks at the YMCA?

Sheldon: Meemaw, you smell like chlorine.
Meemaw: Why say it?

Mary: Well, it was a pleasure spending the evening with you. We should do it again sometime.
Dr. John Sturgis: Great. When?
Sheldon: How about tomorrow?
Meemaw: [SPUTTERS] You know what, we'll figure it out. Come on, let me see you to your Schwinn.

Sheldon: Well, that was the most stimulating dinner I've ever had in this house.
Mary: Glad you enjoyed it.
Sheldon: That man is a true role model.
George: Well, it's nice you finally got a man you can look up to.
Sheldon: Oh, believe me, I know.