Mandy: I'm just waiting 'cause... Well, you've met my mom.
Georgie: Although, she's been pretty sweet with CeeCee.
Mary: Well, some people are better grandmas than moms.
Meemaw: Is that a swipe at me?
Mary: Could be a compliment. Maybe I was saying you improved with...
Meemaw: Stuff it.
George: I think you're a wonderful grandma.
Meemaw: You can stuff it, too.

Pastor Jeff: And now George's loving wife Mary would like to say a few words. Mary.
Mary: Thank you, Pastor Jeff. Um... [clears throat] I met George in high school. Well, I was in high school. He was an older man with a motorcycle. [light laughter] I'd like to tell you he caught my eye, but actually it was the motorcycle. [laughter] [voice breaking] I'm sorry, I can't... do this. I am... so angry. [sighs] George and I had our ups and downs, but we were finally in such a good place, and then he... left. [crying] He left all of us. I- How could you do that? [Meemaw stands up] I am so mad at him. I'm mad at God, I'm mad at myself for not trying harder while he was here. [Meemaw goes up to Mary] This wasn't supposed to happen. [Mary sobs] [Meemaw hugs Mary] [Georgie hugs a crying Missy]

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Mandy: Okay, we got diapers, wipes, change of clothes, bottles, binkies, bibs.
Georgie: And we got your boobs, so we're set on food.
Mandy: Okay, please don't bring my boobs up when we're at my parents' house.
Georgie: Well, what if it comes up naturally?
Mandy: It won't.

Mary: And please look after Sheldon and I as we travel to Germany.
Sheldon: "Sheldon and me".
Mary: [sighs] God doesn't care about grammar.
Sheldon: You're not gonna be on a ten-hour flight with God.
Georgie: I bet it's gonna feel longer than ten.

Sheldon: When we get there, you'll be looking for "international departures".
George: Ah, well, thanks for letting me know that Germany's in a different country.
Sheldon: Is he joking? I'd like to believe he's joking.
Mary: He's joking, Sheldon.
Sheldon: He's a football coach. I don't know what he knows.