Mandy: Just stop it, okay? I know what's going on here.
Georgie: You do?
Mandy: That creepy cop, that trip to Mexico, all that cash in your bra. [whispers] Y'all are selling drugs.
Meemaw: We're not selling drugs.
Mandy: So you're telling me there's nothing weird going on back there?
Meemaw: Oh, I didn't say that.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

George: I don't know how he's gonna coach the game on Friday night.
Mary: Poor man. Can you believe his marriage falling apart like that?
George: I know. If it was gonna happen to anybody, you'd think it'd be us.
Mary: Ain't that the truth. [George chuckles]

Missy: You know, twins run in our family.
Mandy: It's not twins.
Sheldon: That's too bad. It would double your chances of having a remarkable child. Like me.
Missy: Or a child that people like.
Mary: Just eat your dinner.

Mandy: Uh, what's your question?
Sheldon: Thanks, Niblingo. I've heard that pregnant women eat for two. Does that mean that you need two full-size portions?
Missy: I guess Dad's pregnant then.
Mandy: One portion should be fine, considering the baby's the size of a golf ball.
Sheldon: Actually, according to my calculations, the baby's the size of a bell pepper. Although I could be off. When was your last menstruation?
Mary: You do not need to answer that.
Mandy: I was not going to.