George: I don't know how he's gonna coach the game on Friday night.
Mary: Poor man. Can you believe his marriage falling apart like that?
George: I know. If it was gonna happen to anybody, you'd think it'd be us.
Mary: Ain't that the truth. [George chuckles]

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Mary: What about the baby shower? People are gonna want to know.
Georgie: Oh, yeah. We got to have a baby shower. Remind me what a baby shower is.

Missy: You know, twins run in our family.
Mandy: It's not twins.
Sheldon: That's too bad. It would double your chances of having a remarkable child. Like me.
Missy: Or a child that people like.
Mary: Just eat your dinner.

Mandy: Uh, what's your question?
Sheldon: Thanks, Niblingo. I've heard that pregnant women eat for two. Does that mean that you need two full-size portions?
Missy: I guess Dad's pregnant then.
Mandy: One portion should be fine, considering the baby's the size of a golf ball.
Sheldon: Actually, according to my calculations, the baby's the size of a bell pepper. Although I could be off. When was your last menstruation?
Mary: You do not need to answer that.
Mandy: I was not going to.