George Jr.: Wade's coming with me to Mexico.
Meemaw: Why?
George Jr.: It's a long drive. And he knows a little Spanish.
Wade: Sí.
Meemaw: Okay.
Meemaw: [Spanish: "Where will you buy cigarettes?"]
Wade: ¿Sí?
Meemaw: [whispers] You're gonna get yourself killed.
George Jr.: I got no choice. I got a kid coming.
Meemaw: If you're hell-bent on going to Mexico, I'm going with you.
Wade: Shotgun.
Meemaw: You are not coming, Wade. ¿Comprende?
Wade: Sí.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Adult Sheldon: [hushed] This is why the only bar I frequent is the Genius Bar at the Apple Store.

President Hagemeyer: Okay, so, what's the problem?
Sheldon: I wanted to talk with Dr. Linkletter about puberty.
Dr. Linkletter: And I wanted to avoid litigation.

Missy: Sheldon, there has to be stuff you're excited to do.
Sheldon: Of course. Getting my PhD, winning the Nobel Prize, getting to meet Professor Proton, working with Stephen Hawking.
Missy: Okay, so, when you start to get upset, focus on that stuff.
Sheldon: But... what if I grow up and none of those things ever happen?
Missy: All you can do is try and find out.
Sheldon: Those are the fundamentals of the scientific method.
Missy: No doy.