Missy: Why don't you trust me?
Mary: Because you can't even remember to take out the trash.
Missy: I remember. I just don't do it. And for your information, Pastor Jeff hired me to babysit this Friday.
Mary: He did?
Missy: He did.
Mary: Okay. But if you need any help, if you run into any problems whatsoever, I am right next door and I want you to call me.
Missy: I'll be fine.
Mary: Missy...
Missy: Okay! Look, I'm taking out the trash.
Mary: I just put that bag in.
Missy: There's no pleasing you.

Sheldon: While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house, and the man of the house has to enforce the rules.
Missy: The man of the house is about to get his teeth knocked out.
Sheldon: Puberty's made you mean.
Missy: I need to know what happened on my show.
Sheldon: And you'll find out when your privileges are restored.
Missy: I can't wait that long, each episode builds on the last. Imagine a Star Trek that ends with "to be continued," and you don't get to continue.
Sheldon: That would never happen, because I follow the rules.
Missy: You are this close to a purple nurple.
Sheldon: [covers nipples] You leave my nurples alone.

Brenda Sparks: You friends with this girl?
Missy: [scoffs] I wish. She is so popular. One time she said she liked my outfit... I wore it for a week.
Brenda Sparks: [scoffs] What am I gonna do? [both sigh]
Missy: You could tell Billy he's too young to date.
Brenda Sparks: [chuckles softly] That's good. You might be the coolest person in this house.
Missy: Low bar, but thanks.

Sheldon: Why would New Mutants be next to New Teen Titans?
Missy: Because they both start with "New"?
Sheldon: But one's Marvel and the other's DC. Would you put Aquaman and Sub-Mariner next to each other?
Missy: I don't know, they could talk about fish.

Dr. Linkletter: I can't believe you'd use our book club to hit on Connie.
Dr. John Sturgis: And you didn't, Captain Cookies?
Dr. Linkletter: All right, if we're both gonna pursue her, let's lay down some ground rules.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fair enough.
Dr. Linkletter: And my ginger snaps are moist and delicious!
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Sheldon: Oh, I'm assuming you heard the bad news.
Mary: What news?
Sheldon: Isaac Asimov died.
Mary: Oh, no, is that one of your school friends?
Sheldon: What? No, he's one of the most prolific science fiction writers in the history of the genre.
George: Never heard of him.
Sheldon: Sure you have. He wrote I, Robot, the Foundation trilogy.
George: Nope.
Sheldon: Nightfall? The Posotronic Man?
George: You ever heard of this guy?
Mary: Mm-mm.
Sheldon: Caves of Steel. Hostess. The Naked Sun?
George: Whoever he is, sorry he died. Gotta go. Bye.
Mary: Bye.
Adult Sheldon: Astonishing. Asimov wrote almost 500 books, which was apparently 500 more than my family had read.

Dr. Linkletter: [on answer phone] Connie, Grant Linkletter. Wonderful seeing you tonight.
Meemaw: Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Linkletter: Hope you enjoyed our little book club. If you'd ever like to discuss it further, I know the perfect Italian café. The cannolis are resplendent.
Meemaw: Resplendent! [chuckles] [machine beeps]
Dr. John Sturgis: [on answer phone] Connie! John Sturgis here.
Meemaw: What a surprise.
Dr. John Sturgis: It was so nice to have you at our book club. When it comes to science fiction, those things can be real sausage parties. Anyhoo, if you're free next week, I was wondering if you'd like to... [Meemaw skips to the next message]
Dr. Linkletter: Grant Linkletter again. If you don't like Italian, I also know a sublime Vietnamese spot. Have you ever tried Bún Boò Hue? [machine beeps]
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know why I said "sausage party." There was probably a better way to phrase that. [machine beeps]
Dr. Linkletter: Connie, Grant Linkletter...