Sheldon: Okay, so we've agreed on monthly rent. Should we talk utilities?
Georgie: Why do I got to pay for that stuff?
George: 'Cause you use them and they cost money.
Sheldon: There are five of us in the house, so I suggest he pays 20%. Although he does take a long time drying that hair.
George: 20%'s fine.
Georgie: Hold on. It takes a whole lot more water to clean you than me.
George: Hey, watch it. I don't have to let you live here.
Georgie: Let me? I'm paying for everything. You gonna charge me for food, too?
George: Mm, it's not the worst idea.
Georgie: You know what? Maybe I shouldn't be in this house.
George: You said it, not me.

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: There's going to be a lecture on carbon dating at the Natural Science Museum on Saturday. Who would like to take me?
George: You know what? I'd be happy to.
Meemaw: What happened to helping me at my yard sale?
George: Ooh, is that this Saturday? I'm sorry. I'm taking him to a lecture on, uh what is it? Carbonation?
Sheldon: Carbon dating. A method of determining the age of artifacts and fossils.
George: Hey, we could use that to figure out how old your grandma is.
Sheldon: That won't work. You can't carbon-date something that's alive.
George: Well, then, we'll just chop her down and count the rings.
Meemaw: Oh, George, did my "lump of clay" remark strike a nerve?
George: A little.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Missy: I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: Yes, I'm being thorough about these things so we don't fight about them down the line.
Missy: What you're doing is dragging this out because you don't want me to leave.
Sheldon: No, I'm not.
Missy: Yes, you are.
Sheldon: Do you know the phrase "pish posh"?
Missy: No, and I don't want to.
Sheldon: It's British, and it's used when someone's opinions are absurd. And you're forcing me to use it. Pish posh! Or, more authentically, [English accent] pish posh!
Missy: I'm done. I know what's mine, and I'm taking it.
Adult Sheldon: One day she said the same thing to her first husband. I like to think I prepared her for that moment.

Meemaw: Chet's gonna swing by and finalize the deal.
Dale: Wait, he's coming over here?
Meemaw: Yeah. Why?
Dale: Well, this is a very shady transaction. I mean, it should be taking place under a bridge or in a parking lot somewhere.
Meemaw: I'm handing him a cashier's check. He's giving me the keys.
Dale: He's gonna know where you live.
Meemaw: I'm in the phone book. I'm not hard to find.
Dale: Well, what if he grabs the check and just skedaddles out of here?
Meemaw: He's our age. He isn't skedaddling anywhere.

Adult Sheldon: I've always had a curious affinity for Laundromats. Perhaps it's the rows of mechanical devices dedicated to a cleaner world. Or maybe it's the hypnotic rotation of spinning clothes on their sudsy journey to a fluffy, stain-free future. Mmm, look at 'em. Where was I? Oh, yes. Laundromats. My meemaw also loved them, but for an entirely different reason.
Meemaw: Banana, banana... Whoo! [laughs]
Adult Sheldon: Personally, I don't care for bananas. It's a texture thing.