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504 - Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room

Aired Thursday, October 28, 2021
Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room

As George wants to throw Georgie out of the house, Missy proposes a new living arrangement for her and her brothers. Meanwhile, Meemaw buys a laundromat with a secret gambling room.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "Pish Posh" refers to Sheldon's use of the British expression and "a Secret Back Room" refers to the gaming room in the laundromat that Meemaw bought.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed in his normal clothes as a black cow with horns approaches the family.
  • Sheldon's love of binding agreements was well established on The Big Bang Theory. [The Roommate Agreement, The Relationship Agreement]
  • In an episode of The Big Bang Theory, Howard Wolowitz described Sheldon's forced smile as terrifying, while Leonard told Sheldon "We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman." [203]
  • Sheldon liking spaghetti, paticularly with little hot dogs cut up in it, has been mentioned on The Big Bang Theory. [320, 523, 823]

Quotes

Missy: I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: Yes, I'm being thorough about these things so we don't fight about them down the line.
Missy: What you're doing is dragging this out because you don't want me to leave.
Sheldon: No, I'm not.
Missy: Yes, you are.
Sheldon: Do you know the phrase "pish posh"?
Missy: No, and I don't want to.
Sheldon: It's British, and it's used when someone's opinions are absurd. And you're forcing me to use it. Pish posh! Or, more authentically, [English accent] pish posh!
Missy: I'm done. I know what's mine, and I'm taking it.
Adult Sheldon: One day she said the same thing to her first husband. I like to think I prepared her for that moment.

Adult Sheldon: I've always had a curious affinity for Laundromats. Perhaps it's the rows of mechanical devices dedicated to a cleaner world. Or maybe it's the hypnotic rotation of spinning clothes on their sudsy journey to a fluffy, stain-free future. Mmm, look at 'em. Where was I? Oh, yes. Laundromats. My meemaw also loved them, but for an entirely different reason.
Meemaw: Banana, banana... Whoo! [laughs]
Adult Sheldon: Personally, I don't care for bananas. It's a texture thing.

Sheldon: Fun fact... did you know the knife goes on the right because it was the first utensil, and most people are right-handed?
Missy: Did you know I set the table and no one said thank you?
Sheldon: No one thanked me for my fun fact. You don't hear me complaining.

Mary: Okay, what if he pitches in here?
George Sr.: Like what, rent?
Mary: Yes. You would do that, right?
George Jr.: I guess so.
Sheldon: Sounds like someone needs a rental agreement. I'll go get my legal pad.

Missy: Pay to live here? We don't even have a pool.

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Featured Music

  • All 4 Love
    Color Me Badd

    All 4 Love Missy plays the song loudly to annoy Sheldon who refuses to turn off his train sounds.

Episode Trivia

  • Which crime drama show did Dale say he loved?
    • Columbo
    • The Rockford Files
    • Magnum, P.I.
    • Kojak
  • How did Adult Sheldon describe the four scientists whose posters adorn his wall?
    • Science troop
    • Science posse
    • Science gang
    • Science team

Episode Recap

Adult Sheldon explains he’s always had an affinity for laundromats. Perhaps it’s the rows of mechanical devices dedicated to a cleaner world, but his meemaw had her own reason for loving laundromats. In the back room, Meemaw wins on a slot machine. When she goes to ask Chet to put her winnings on her tab, he says he’ll have to pay her out as he’s planning on selling up. Meemaw asks who’s buying the place. Later, Meemaw tells Dale she’s buying a laundromat. He doesn’t know whether that’s good news, but when Meemaw insists it is, Dale says cool.

As the family sits down to dinner, Sheldon tells them a “fun fact” about cutlery. After Georgie walks in, his father asks what he’s doing there. Georgie explains he thought he could join them for dinner. Mary says of course he can, but George asks his son if he lives there. Georgie doesn’t know. When George asks if he’s going back to school, Georgie says no, so George says it sounds like he doesn’t live there. Mary insists they’re not throwing him out, suggesting Georgie could stay there and pitch in by paying rent. After Georgie confirms he would do that, Sheldon is excited about the need for a rental agreement and runs off to get his legal pad.

As they drink on her porch, Dale wonders Meemaw never told him about the secret backroom at the laundromat she’s buying. Meemaw says that’s how secrets work. After Dale asks for a sense of how illegal it is, Meemaw wonders why he thinks it’s illegal. Why’s it a secret then, Dale wonders. “Okay, it’s illegal”, Meemaw concedes. Meemaw insists these places have been around for years, nobody gets hurt and the cops don’t care. Dale thought Meemaw was enjoying being retired, and says being a business owner isn’t as much fun as he makes it look. After Dale says he won’t be waiting around if she gets arrested, Meemaw asks if he really has the energy to find another girlfriend. Meemaw chuckles as Dale says he’ll wait.

Back home, Sheldon is working on the rental agreement for Georgie. When they turn to utilities, Sheldon suggests Georgie cover 20% of the bills. After Georgie jokes that it takes a lot more water to clean his father than him, George says he doesn’t have to let him live here. Georgie points out he would be paying bills and wonders if his father is gonna charge him for food, too. After George says that’s not a bad idea, Mary insists he can eat for free. Missy proposes Georgie live in the garage, instead. That way their mom would be happy Georgie’s still around, and George would be happy he’s out of the house. George and Georgie are on board, but Sheldon wonders where his trains and science equipment would go. Missy explains she’d take Georgie’s room and all Sheldon’s crap would go in his room. Sheldon says it’s a big change and he needs to think about it. After George says they should put this down for a few days, Missy wonders if it’s because he doesn’t want to hear Sheldon complain? Bingo.

At a bar, Dale talks to his old cop friend, Jake. After talking about his latest arrest, Jake asks if he’s still dating Connie. Dale says that’s what he wanted to talk about. He asks Jake what he knows about those backroom slot machine places. Jake admits they’re viewed as harmless and the cops tend to look the other way.

In Sheldon and Missy’s room that night, Missy tells Sheldon she needs her own space. Sheldon says they’ve always shared a room. After Missy points out she’s a young lady now and wears a training bra, Sheldon tells her to get back to him when she’s completed her training. Missy says she knows Sheldon wants privacy, too. Sheldon admits it would be nice to have all his trains and science equipment in there. It would be like his Fortress of Solitude. Missy says it’s settled and turns over to go to sleep. Sheldon keeps talking, describing it as his Bat Cave. Although he doesn’t care for caves. Or bats. As Sheldon rambles on, Missy threatens to choke him with her bra.

The next day, as George drinks a beer and watches football on TV, Georgie struggles to get his mattress down the hallway. As he knocks a picture of the wall, George asks his son if he wants some help. After Georgie asks if he’s going to charge him money, George says forget it. George regrets his inaction as Georgie blocks the TV as he tries to get the mattress out the door.

When Missy goes into their room with a box, Sheldon asks what she’s doing. Missy explains she’s moving her stuff. After Sheldon says they haven’t talked about who gets what yet, Missy says she gets her stuff, he gets his stuff, simple. Sheldon points out there is “community property” as they’ve lived together for over a decade. In some states they’d be considered married. Gross. When Missy asks what she has to do to get this over with, Sheldon explains they just need to agree on who gets what items. Missy relents and says as her farewell gift to Sheldon they will do his dumb thing. Sheldon thinks it’s confusing when she’s mean and nice at the same time. “Too bad, doofus.”, Missy tells her brother.

At Meemaw’s house, she gets off the phone and tells Dale that Chet will be coming over soon. Dale is a little freaked out that this shady transaction will be taking place at her house. Meemaw insists she’s just handing over a check and getting the keys, but Dale warns her Chet will now know where she lives. Meemaw says she’s in the phone book. Dale wonders what would happen if Chet grabs the check and skedaddles out of here. Meemaw points out Chet is their age, so he’s not skedaddling anywhere. Meemaw tells Dale he can be her muscle, and can jump in if anything goes sideways. When Dale offers to stand behind Meemaw and crack his knuckles, she asks if he means with his arthritis.

As a bored Missy lays on her bed, Sheldon is making an inventory of their items on the computer and recording who gets what. Sheldon turns to the alarm clock, which Missy is ready to let him have, until Sheldon talks up its “faux-wood finish” and she decides to take it, only for Sheldon to complain he wanted it after all. After Sheldon turns to the “useful yet educational” map of the world trash can, Missy tells Sheldon she knows what he’s doing. He’s dragging this out because he doesn’t want her to leave. Sheldon asks Missy if she knows the phrase “pish posh”. No and she doesn’t want to. Sheldon explains it’s British and is used when someone’s opinions are absurd. Pish posh! He even repeats the phrase in an English accent. Missy doesn’t care, saying she knows what’s hers and she’s taking it. Adult Sheldon says one day Missy said the same thing to her first husband. He likes to think he prepared her for that moment.

When Dale joins Meemaw in the back room of the laundromat, she tells him about her plans for the place. After she mentions adding a bar, Dale says she’d need a liquor license. “Oh, right. 'Cause I don't want to break the law in my illegal gambling room.”, Meemaw sarcastically responds. Elsewhere, in the Coopers’ garage, Georgie shows Mary around his new room. He points to the bed, the gym and the kitchen/bathroom. After Mary tells him not to use the sink as a bathroom, Georgie says “Relax. Just number one.”

Inside, George helps Missy move her mattress to her new room. After he’s finished, Missy instructs him where to put up her posters. George insists he’s not her moving man. Missy pouts and tells her father he’s right, after all she’s growing up and can’t be daddy’s little girl forever. George asks which poster goes above the bed. Back in the gambling room, Meemaw says she wants to get better chairs, thinking if people are comfortable they’ll spend more time and money there. Dale wonders what if it’s someone’s lucky chair. Meemaw points out they’re gambling in the back of a laundromat. Does that sound lucky?

In the garage, Georgie tells Mary he’s going to hang the Texas state flag over the window for privacy. When Mary offers to sew some curtains and make it homey, Georgie thinks girls would eat that up. The flag is fine, Mary says. In his bedroom, Sheldon gets to work setting up his trains. When George comes in, he says Sheldon’s been busy. A depressed Sheldon simply replies yes. George asks if he got this all in here by himself? Yes. How? Another one word answer: science. After George says it looks good, Sheldon says he knows. Now trains will be the last thing he sees when he goes to sleep and the first thing he sees when he wakes up. If he stirs in the middle of the night, do you know what he’ll see? Trains, George answers. Trains. When George says, “As long as you’re happy”, Sheldon flatly insists he’s happy and offers an off putting smile.

As Mary prepares dinner in the kitchen, George goes to tell her she might want to check on Sheldon. George explains Sheldon was… smiling. Smiling how? George mimics Sheldon’s strained grin. “Oh, boy”, Mary says. Later, Mary goes to Sheldon’s room to tell him dinner’s ready. Sheldon says he’ll eat later as he has to finish putting the train set together. Mary says she made spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it, and even made sure every piece was the same size. After Mary asks if Sheldon’s okay, he wonders why he wouldn’t be. Mary points out there’s a lot of change going on and she knows it’s not his favorite thing. Sheldon wonders where his railroad crossing is. Mary offers to let him eat in his room, but Sheldon is more focused on finding the sign.

After Sheldon barges into the garage and says he can’t find his railroad sign, Georgie says how about knocking. Sheldon apologizes, explaining he never had to knock on that door before. Sheldon says he needs the crossing sign for his train set, and asks Georgie if he’s seen it. After Georgie says no, he asks Sheldon if this is really about some dumb sign or because he’s scared to have the room all to himself? Sheldon says the sign has been there for as long as he’s had the railroad set. It may seem insignificant to Georgie, but he needs it. Sheldon accuses everyone of only caring about themselves. Sheldon says Georgie is happy because he got the garage, Missy's happy because she has her own room, but no one cares about his problems.

Adult Sheldon says that as he struggled, his meemaw began to realize the problem with an illegal gambling den attached to a laundromat is that it’s attached to a laundromat. One woman accuses Meemaw’s machine of eating her undies. Another blames Meemaw’s dryer for removing the sequins from her blouse. When Meemaw points out the label says not to tumble dry, the woman says no label’s gonna tell her what to do. Meemaw says she is not in the mood for Texas right now. After Meemaw finally closes up shop, she goes into the back room only to find police officers, including Dale’s friend Jake, covering her machines in police tape.

Back in Sheldon’s room, as he plays with his train set, he imagines himself smartly-dressed in a fancy carriage on a train. When the conductor comes to tell him the next stop is Medford, Sheldon tells him to keep going. The conductor points out Sheldon’s family is waiting to board the train. Sheldon says he’s aware and tells him to drive on. But sir… Sheldon insists he doesn’t need his family, he’s fine on his own, don’t stop the train.

As Sheldon comes out of his daydream, he makes the train whistle sound. Missy storms into his room to tell him to turn it off, she’s been listening to it for an hour. After Sheldon refuses, Missy goes back to her room and turns up her music. George walks down the hallway to see what all the noise is about. Sheldon explains Missy is trying to annoy him, but Missy points out that’s beccause he won’t turn his stupid train off. George says the two of them are unbelievable and wants everything turned off, now.

After Meemaw tells Jake she thought the cops looked the other way, Jake says they do, but he’s running for sheriff and this will make his campaign pop. Meemaw thought he and Dale were buddies. They are, that’s why Jake’s not arresting her. Later, as Dale drives Meemaw home, he asks if she’s gonna sell the place. No. So she’ll be a laundry boss instead of a crime boss? Dale says that’s just as cool. Meemaw insists she’ll open her gaming room, although she doesn’t take kindly to Dale’s questions over how.

Adult Sheldon says there were plenty of reasons to be happy his sister moved out. She snored. She teased him. She left her dirty clothes everywhere. Clearly, he was better off without her. As Sheldon lays awake in bed, he looks at the empty boxes where Missy used to sleep. After a knock on her bedroom door, Missy opens the door to Sheldon who asks if he can sleep on her floor. Missy lets him in.

Later, Adult Sheldon explains he eventually made his peace with having his room to himself. He was never truly alone thanks to his “science posse”: Stephen, Albert, Richard and Arthur, whose posters adorn his bedroom walls. But for those times when he did need to communicate with Missy, they had a system. Sheldon pulls on a rope which makes a lever knock on Missy’s wall, prompting her to pick up a walkie-talkie. When Missy asks what’s up, Sheldon tells her he’s just testing the system. After Missy tells him it’s working and says good night, Sheldon says “Good night, sleep tight”. A moment later Sheldon uses the system again to tell Missy the origins of the phrase “sleep tight”. Missy simply responds, “Cool, bye.” Adult Sheldon says he didn’t tell her the derivation of the entire phrase… until he did.

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