Dale: Now, what do you think young people talk about on their dates?
Meemaw: I don't know. But my knee's telling me it's gonna rain this weekend.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

George Jr.: See? They ain't allowed to dance, either.
Missy: It's like I'm watching my life.
George Jr.: That's how I feel when I'm watching Top Gun.

George Jr.: Can I put on the game?
Missy: I don't care.
George Jr.: Sweet! What's your problem?
Missy: Did you ever go to a school dance?
George Jr.: One or two.
Missy: How'd you get Mom to let you?
George Jr.: Easy. Didn't ask her. By the way, that works for all kinds of stuff.
Missy: Well, it's too late. I already asked.
George Jr.: Rookie mistake.
Missy: Why can't we have a fun religion?
George Jr.: I don't think there is one.

George Sr.: Come on, Sheldon, think of it as a free dinner.
Sheldon: I'm a kid. All my dinners are free.