Dr. Bowers: Okay, Sheldon, you ready?
Sheldon: Not really.
Dr. Bowers: Yeah, that makes two of us. Why don't you guys come on back?
Mary: You know what? I'm just gonna stay here. Um, you don't need me getting in your way.
Dr. Bowers: Oh, it's no trouble at all. Come on.
Mary: I've got my crochet.
Dr. Bowers: You're coming.
Mary: Fine.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Sheldon: So none of you can help me?
Albert Einstein: I believe I can. Sheldon, if I was offered a choice between all the knowledge of the universe or the endless pursuit of it, I would choose the pursuit.
Sheldon: That's very insightful.
Richard Feynman: Hold it, hold it... He didn't come up with that! He stole it from Gotthold Lessing.
Professor Proton: Who's-who's Gotthold Lessing?
Cyndi Lauper: [v.o.] He's an 18th century German philosopher. Now do you mind? We girls are trying to have some fun over here.
Einstein: Apologies.
Richard Feynman: Sorry, Cyndi Lauper.
Stephen Hawking: Our bad.
Professor Proton: I-I like fun.

Ms. Hutchins: Hi, Sheldon, what can I do for you?
Sheldon: Do you have any books or videos on the Lamaze technique?
Ms. Hutchins: Uh-oh. Georgie get that girl pregnant?
Sheldon: It's for me. I need to have a tooth pulled, and I'd like to do it without putting my brain on drugs.
Ms. Hutchins: Okay.
Sheldon: I've seen that commercial with the egg in the frying pan. Very effective.

George Jr.: Can I at least change the music we play here?
Dale: What's wrong with the music we play here?
George Jr.: Nothing, it's just kind of grandpa music.
Dale: Well, how is this "grandpa music"?
George Jr.: Do you listen to it?
Dale: Yeah.
George Jr.: Do you have grandchildren?
Dale: Yeah.
George Jr.: Do you see where I'm going with this?