Mary: [on the phone] Everything okay?
George Sr.: Sheldon locked himself in a broom closet, and he's refusing to go to class.
Mary: What's he doing in a closet?
George Sr.: Apparently, learning about Russia.
Mary: Well, what do you want me to do?
George Sr.: I want you to handle it.
Mary: You're right there why can't you handle it?
George Sr.: 'Cause I'm at work.
Mary: So am I.
George Sr.: You know what I mean.
Mary: That you have a real job and I don't?
George Sr.: Mary, I have football practice in ten minutes, and I I don't have time to deal with this.
Mary: Well, you're gonna have to, 'cause I'm busy. [hangs up]
Peg: You tell him, sister.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

George Sr.: So he hasn't been in any of your classes?
Ms. Ingram: Mm-mm, not a one.
Ms. MacElroy: Nope.
George Sr.: But I bring him here, I take him home he's got to be somewhere in the building.
Ms. Ingram: Mm, I might've seen him in the library. But at this point, I sometimes think I see him when I'm alone in my house.
Ms. MacElroy: Like that creepy Chucky doll in the movies?
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] Exactly!

[Sheldon is chuckling as he stares at a blank screen]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Watching last week's Professor Proton in my mind.

George Sr.: Hey, Hubert. Was Sheldon in class today?
Mr. Givens: Nope. Haven't seen him all week.
George Sr.: Weren't you gonna say anything?
Mr. Givens: I didn't want to jinx it.