Mary: Will someone please tell me what happened?
Georgie: Okay, me and Meemaw were in the bar at the track.
Mary: You took him to a bar?
Meemaw: He wasn't drinking.
Georgie: She had a few too many margaritas, so I drove us home.
Mary: But you don't have a license.
Georgie: That's why we swapped places after the cop pulled us over.
Mary: Oh, dear Lord.
George: I had nothing to do with this part.
Mary: Shut up.
George: Will do.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Pastor Jeff: And now George's loving wife Mary would like to say a few words. Mary.
Mary: Thank you, Pastor Jeff. Um... [clears throat] I met George in high school. Well, I was in high school. He was an older man with a motorcycle. [light laughter] I'd like to tell you he caught my eye, but actually it was the motorcycle. [laughter] [voice breaking] I'm sorry, I can't... do this. I am... so angry. [sighs] George and I had our ups and downs, but we were finally in such a good place, and then he... left. [crying] He left all of us. I- How could you do that? [Meemaw stands up] I am so mad at him. I'm mad at God, I'm mad at myself for not trying harder while he was here. [Meemaw goes up to Mary] This wasn't supposed to happen. [Mary sobs] [Meemaw hugs Mary] [Georgie hugs a crying Missy]

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster. For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that. However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that. Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that. But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that. Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that. And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

Georgie: Mornin'.
Mary: Mornin'.
Georgie: I slept in the nude last night. Felt every little breeze.
[Sheldon slides his food away]
Mary: Thank you for sharing that.
Georgie: You're welcome.

George: Sheldon, all you got to do is be cool.
Adult Sheldon: "Be cool." He might as well have asked me to fly around the backyard.