Meemaw: I don't want you talking to him about anything having to do with anything about us.
Same with you. And I want you to stop spying on me with those binoculars like you're on some kind of African safari. And you cannot talk to Ira or any of my ex-boyfriends, for that matter.
Dr. John Sturgis: This list is getting long. Maybe we should write it down.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Adult Sheldon: I would go on to draw up such contracts throughout my life. With roommates. With my wife. Even with my own children.

Mary: He's just excited that Meemaw's dating a man he looks up to.
Georgie: I wish she could date Tony Danza that'd be cool.
George: What is it with you and Tony Danza?
Georgie: Well, the show doesn't come out and say it, but I'm pretty sure he's the boss.
Missy: I think the blonde lady's the boss.
Georgie: Angela? Who's the oddball now?

Mary: I know you've had a number of gentleman callers, but I've never heard you speak like this before.
Meemaw: "Gentleman callers"?
George: And we wonder where Sheldon gets it.