Phyllis: Someone likes snow globes.
Georgie: I hope so. I don't want 'em.

George: Honey, just 'cause they're both super smart doesn't mean that they're the same person. I mean, Sturgis was in love with your mom, so clearly he was nuts from the get-go.
Mary: You're not helping.
George: I'm not wrong, either. Love you.

Georgie: And if you act now, you can have this beautiful, limited edition keepsake in your home for the low, low price of only five dollars.
Meemaw: I hope you know I'm missing People's Court right now.
Georgie: But with Christmas coming, this would make an excellent stocking stuffer.
Meemaw: Well, you're my grandson, and I love you so it hurts me to do this. [closes door]
Georgie: Dang it.

Missy: You didn't sell a single snow globe?
George: Now, don't give your brother a hard time. He took some initiative, and I admire that.
Georgie: Thank you.
George: I mean, the snow globes were silly, but I bet your next idea will be great.
Georgie: They're not silly.
George: I'm glad you feel that way, 'cause you got 50 of them.
Georgie: I'm gonna sell them all just to prove you wrong.
Meemaw: Well, now I know it's a peeing contest between you and your daddy, I'll take two.
Georgie: Well, all right. Mom, you're not crazy about Dad. Want to buy a snow globe?

Mr. Strover: I already accepted Jesus in my heart.
Georgie: No. I'm selling these Texas snow globes.
Mr. Strover: I have enough crap in my house.
Georgie: Crap? You love Texas, right?
Mr. Strover: [sighs] Well, sure.
Georgie: And who doesn't like snow? Sleds and snowball fights.
Mr. Strover: I remember it snowed hard here once when I was a kid.
Georgie: That must have been amazing.
Mr. Strover: It was. They cancelled school. Me and my brother built a snow fort in the backyard.
Georgie: That's cool. My brother and I love doing stuff together. We're really close.
Mr. Strover: I hadn't thought about that day in a long time.
Georgie: Well, what if that memory was just one shake away?
Mr. Strover: How much?
Georgie: Five dollars.
Mr. Strover: Fine. I'll take it.
Georgie: How about you get one for your brother?
Mr. Strover: I don't know. He married some Yankee gal and moved to Connecticut.
Georgie: But he's still your brother.
Mr. Strover: Aw, what the hell. She's gonna leave him at some point.

Missy: And the turtle eating the pizza is Leonardo.
George: How can you tell?
Missy: He's wearing blue. And he's the hot one.

George: All right, see, when you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets two points and the ball. That's called a safety.
Missy: I thought one of the players was a safety.
George: Well, that's true, too.
Missy: I'm confused.
George: Now you know how I feel when you talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Missy: What's confusing? Everything you need to know is in the title.

Adult Sheldon: I've always felt the world of subatomic particles would make an excellent video game. Uh, fortunately, thanks to my brain, I've been playing it for years.
Sheldon: You cheeky little muon, you know you don't belong there.
[As Mary turns to missy]
Missy: Don't look at me. He's your kid.

Adult Sheldon: Some people are just natural-born worriers. My mother, for example, could whip herself into a frenzy even if I were sitting on my bed doing nothing.

Meemaw: I mean, I'm worried about him. I don't know how serious this is.
Mary: The whole year you were together did you see any, um warning signs?
Meemaw: No. Not really. I just thought he was another, [chuckles] you know, cute, quirky egghead like Sheldon. Speaking of which, when are you gonna tell Sheldon the truth about John?
Mary: Mm. When the time is right.
Meemaw: So he still thinks he's being treated for mono?
Mary: I had to come up with something contagious so he wouldn't want to visit.

Georgie: Dad. How would you like to be rich?
George: Go away.
Georgie: Aren't you even a little curious?
George: Does it involve me giving you money?
Georgie: Yeah, but then I give you more money back.
Missy: How much more?
Georgie: Way more.
Missy: You got to get in on this.

Edwin: Okay. What do we got here? Farmhouse Kitchen. Garfield Hangs Out. The Complete Guide to Your Child's Mental-
Mary: Oh, look, that cute little book light I'll get that, too. [chuckles nervously]
Edwin: Okay. You still want the crazy kid book, right?
Mary: Yeah.

Phyllis: Okay, 52 Texas snow globes comes to $55.25.
Georgie: Can't you do any better?
Phyllis: What do you mean?
Georgie: You're going out of business and I'm buying 'em all. Give me a break.
Phyllis: Okay, $50.
Georgie: $30.
Phyllis: $40.
Georgie: $35.
Phyllis: Deal.
Georgie: No, wait. $32. $33. ... $35.

Mary: I'm reading this book about mental problems, and I'm worried it sounds like Sheldon.
George: Well, stop reading the book.
Mary: Shelly and Dr. Sturgis have a lot in common, and look what happened.
George: What, you mean like how he went to-
Adult Sheldon: As a society, we've made strides in how we discuss psychological issues. 30 years ago in East Texas, let's just say we hadn't.
George: cuckoo, cuckoo. [blubbers]

Sheldon: Do you have any books on mental health?
Ms. Hutchins: Sure. Why?
Sheldon: I believe my mother is unraveling.