Sheldon: I started working on this presentation to address specific ethical dilemmas. The laws of robotics, whether torture can be justified, and cloning people for fun and spare parts. But I realized before resolving any of these moral quandaries, the real decision is who gets to decide. Do we put it up for a vote? Does everyone get to decide for themselves? Should it be by committee? Is that committee elected or appointed? You see where I'm going? You probably don't. For the smartest decision, we need the smartest person. Ladies and gentlemen, in the field of scientific ethics, we can't rely on democracy or plutocracy. We need an autocracy, or to be more precise, a "Sheldocracy." [slams fist] [military march plays]
Dr. John Sturgis: Um, I don't think this was the assignment.
Sheldon: Sorry, Dr. Sturgis, I pick the assignments now. Everybody, for next class, I want 500 words on what you can do to further the Sheldocracy. Punishment for typos will be severe.
Dr. John Sturgis: Class dismissed.
Sheldon: Hey, that's my line.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, it isn't.
Sheldon: Why don't you see me after class. Class dismissed.

Sheldon: Good morning, everyone. Niblingo.
Mandy: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: It's an honorific I came up with to describe a woman who's carrying my future niece or nephew but is not related to me by law.
Missy: You remember Sheldon.
Mandy: I do.
Missy: [nods] Yeah.

Meemaw: You looking for a new church?
Mary: Not yet.
Meemaw: 'Cause I can see you going Catholic. You got a "get thee to a nunnery" vibe.

Mandy: Hey, uh, what's the bathroom situation?
Georgie: Oh, I pay rent. You can use the one in the house.
Mandy: Good, I was afraid you were gonna say that sink.
Georgie: [scoffs] The sink? That's kind of gross.
Mandy: I'll be right back. [exits]
Georgie: Looks like you're just a sink again. [tap drips]

George: It's like she's a different person.
Dale: That reminds me of a film. A lady fell off a boat, she hit her head, and when she woke up, she was a completely different person.
George: What's your point?
Dale: Did Mary fall off a boat recently?
George: Not that I know of.
Dale: Well, you should ask her.
George: We're not boat people, Dale.

Sheldon: Can you two help me with my homework?
George: Did I hear him right?
Missy: Yeah, he asked for help.
George: With his schoolwork?
Missy: Yep.
George: How long have you known him?
Missy: All my life.
George: Has he ever asked for help?
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Hello.

Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis. I don't think I can do the assignment.
Dr. John Sturgis: Why not? Just pick either side of any ethical argument and present it.
Sheldon: But how do I know which argument to present?
Dr. John Sturgis: Any one you want.
Sheldon: And how do I know which side to take?
Dr. John Sturgis: Any side you want.
Sheldon: But I want to take the right side.
Dr. John Sturgis: Maybe there is no right side.
Sheldon: [groans] This is torture, and that can't be ethical.
Dr. John Sturgis: There you go! You picked a subject. And a side.
Sheldon: Oh. Good. Torture is unethical. That's clearly the correct position.
Dr. John Sturgis: I agree. But what if there's a bomb hidden underneath the city and someone says that the only way to find out its location is through torture? Answer that.
Sheldon: Let's see. Batman plays by Gotham City rules and would use torture, but Superman's got those Midwest values. I hate ethics!

[fantasy:]
Dusty: And I'm telling you, your feelings are valid.
Mary: I don't know.
Dusty: Hey. Hey. Look at me. I know. Now, tell me about the rest of your day.
Mary: Dusty... I think I'm done talking.
Dusty: Do you mean...?
Mary: I do. [they start to kiss]
Missy: [o.s.] [banging on door] Mom, I've really got to go!
Mary: Use the sink in the garage!

Georgie: You can hang your dresses and whatnot on the barbell.
Mandy: Fancy. So we're clear, uh, just 'cause we're sleeping together doesn't mean we're... "sleeping" together.
Georgie: I understand. If you want, you can take the bed and I'll sleep on the floor.
Mandy: Oh, I can't ask you to do that.
Georgie: It's okay. I got a sleeping bag, and I'm young.
Mandy: We'll share the bed, just, uh, keep your hands to yourself.
Georgie: Works both ways. You keep your hands to yourself.
Mandy: I'll manage.
Georgie: Well, if you find you can't, that's okay, too.

Georgie: Go ahead and take a seat, I'll make you some scrambled eggs.
Missy: Since when do you make eggs?
Georgie: I can make eggs.
Missy: [quietly] He can't make eggs.
Mandy: Actually, my stomach's a little queasy. How about just some toast?
Georgie: Great. Toast, I can do.

Sheldon: I'm glad you're here. I have a question about robot ethics I was hoping you could help me with.
Georgie: Sheldon, leave her alone.
Mandy: No, it's okay, he can ask me a question. I'm his, uh... What am I?
Sheldon: Niblingo.
Mandy: Niblingo. What's your question?
Sheldon: Ethically, should a robot be programmed to never kill, even if killing would save lives?
Georgie: Where's the dang toaster?
Missy: Welcome to breakfast at our house.

Dale: When I was married to June, she was going through the change.
George: Hmm.
Dale: She became downright frisky.
George: I think Mary's a little young for the change.
Dale: Well, you'd think. Nature's curious. I went to school with a kid whose hair turned gray in the tenth grade. We called him Whitey.
George: Clever.
Dale: He used to buy us liquor. Oh, anyway, what I'm saying is that have the family medic do a once-over on her. You know, kick the tires, see how she's rolling.
George: Yeah, thanks, Dale. I tell you my wife wants to have sex with me, you tell me she needs to see a doctor.
Dale: Well, I'm sorry. You making a woman hot, that's completely normal.

Georgie: Oh, you hungry? You want some SpaghettiOs? [holds up an open can with spoon] I'm sorry, that was rude. [swaps spoon] There's your clean spoon. [licks food off his thumb]

Georgie: Why do you look like you're gonna cry?
Mandy: [cries] 'Cause I am.
Georgie: What's wrong?
Mandy: My whole life. A year ago, I was a TV weather girl in San Antonio, and now I'm living in a garage with the 17-year-old who got me pregnant.
Georgie: I'll be 18 before you know it.
Mandy: [crying] But not before you're a father!
Georgie: Okay, well, what can I do?
Mandy: Nothing, you're doing great. That's how screwed up my life is right now, you're the best part of it.

Georgie: This is a surprise.
Mandy: Sorry to just drop in.
Georgie: No. No, it's okay. Let me just... Sorry. The cleaning lady didn't come today.
Mandy: Your mother?
Georgie: [scoffs] Good one.

Georgie: It's gonna be okay.
Mandy: [sniffles] Is it? [whispers] I peed in the sink last night.

Georgie: Well, I'll leave you with this. There's some ice cream in there. You might want to make that a priority.
Mandy: [scoffs] Okay. Good night.
Georgie: I got you the kind with three different flavors 'cause I didn't know what you liked.
Mandy: Bye.
Georgie: It's chocolate, vanilla and pink.

Georgie: Don't worry. I'll pay to get your power turned back on.
Mandy: I'm not a charity case. I can figure this out on my own.
Georgie: But you can't even watch TV. What kind of life is that?
Mandy: It's fine. I can hear the neighbors fight. That's almost as good as TV.

Georgie: Why is it so dark in there?
Mandy: No reason.
Georgie: What's with the candles? Are you on a date?
Mandy: You think I'd dress like this on a date?
Georgie: I think you look good.
Mandy: Well, I don't, and if I was on a date, it'd be none of your business.
Georgie: Then why are you sitting in the dark?
Mandy: Okay. It's not a big deal. I was a little short on the power bill this month.
Georgie: How come?
Mandy: Well, waiting tables and morning sickness, not a great combination. Definitely got reflected in my tips.

Georgie: I'll go get the rest of your stuff.
Mandy: Thank you.
Georgie: Question about your TV...
Mandy: I want it.
Georgie: Gotcha.

Mary: Oh, Passion, not the stable. That's where the horses do their business.

Dr. John Sturgis: What about, uh, dinosaurs?
Sheldon: Herbivores, yes. Carnivores, no.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, what about the herbivores who can squash you like a bug?
Sheldon: Good point. No dinosaurs.
Dr. John Sturgis: So, cloning is unethical?
Sheldon: Right.
Dr. John Sturgis: But what if we were to clone Albert Einstein?
Sheldon: That would be swell. At some point, I'm going to need a sidekick.
Dr. John Sturgis: So, cloning is ethical?
Sheldon: Right, because Albert Einstein, unlike the dinosaur, harmed no one.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think the victims of the atomic bomb, which his discoveries helped create, might disagree.

Dr. John Sturgis: Ethically, can science ever go too far? Just because we can do something, does that mean we should do something?
Sheldon: [raises hand] Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: I haven't finished.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, go on.
Dr. John Sturgis: Ethically, should science have any limitations?
Sheldon: [raises hand] No.
Dr. John Sturgis: Interesting. What about human cloning?
Sheldon: More of me? Yes, please.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, what about more of everyone else?
Sheldon: [looks around] No, thank you.

Meemaw: Now, here's the guest room. Make yourself at home.
Mandy: Thank you so much. It's only temporary, I promise.
Meemaw: Oh, no problem. Stay as long as you need. Bathroom's right down the hall.
Mandy: Oh, boy, a bathroom.

George: Sorry. I didn't get much sleep.
Dale: Oh, you and Mary fighting again?
George: Oh, no, we're getting along real good.
Dale: Okay.
George: I mean... real good.
Dale: Yeah. I-I said okay.

Henry: Put your hands down. I ain't gonna shoot you. I saw the padlock on her door.
Georgie: Yeah, and all her stuff's in there. I came to get it for her.
Henry: I like that girl. She's a good one.
Georgie: I agree.
Henry: Why don't you marry her?
Georgie: I'm trying. She don't want to.
Henry: So, you think getting her toothbrush's gonna change that?
Georgie: Couldn't hurt. So, what do you say, can I go?
Henry: Yeah.
Georgie: Thank you, sir. [opens window] Good night, sir. Sorry to bother you, sir. [climbs out]
Henry: Nice kid. [chuckles] Glad I didn't kill him.

Missy: Did someone have a sleepover?
Georgie: Mandy's gonna be staying with me for a little bit.
Missy: Mm-hmm.
Mandy: It's not like that.
Missy: Didn't say it was.

Mandy: Get out. Get out.
Georgie: What?
Mandy: I'm using the sink.
Georgie: Sweet.

Mandy: Did you have any problems getting into the apartment?
Georgie: No. In the right window, out the right window. Easy peasy.

George: What you writing?
Mary: Oh. Uh, just making a list of chores that need to get done.
George: Well, that doesn't sound like fun.
Mary: Well... one of them is.
George: [groans] I'll get to the rain gutters. You just got to... [Mary kisses George] Mm. Mmm. What's happening?
Mary: Why don't you come to the bedroom and find out?
George: Weird day.

[fantasy:]
Mary: Sometimes I feel like, at my age, I should have everything all figured out. [scoffs] But I don't.
Dusty: Nobody has it all figured out.
Mary: You ever get scared?
Dusty: Oh, yeah. All the time. I mean, like right now, I... [chuckles] I'm scared you won't like me.
Mary: Oh, Dusty. You don't have to worry about that.
Dusty: You promise?
Mary: With God as my witness.
Dusty: Well, I hope he's not watching right now, 'cause I'm about to kiss you.

Georgie: Don't shoot! I'm not a robber!
Henry: Turn around real slow.
Georgie: How's this? 'Cause I can go slower.
Henry: You picked the wrong apartment, little man.
Georgie: Ain't this 208?
Henry: It's 207.
Georgie: I'm in the wrong apartment.
Henry: I just said that.
Georgie: I can explain. My girlfriend... well, she's not really my girlfriend, but she's having my baby. She got evicted, and I came to get her stuff.
Henry: Are you talking about Mandy?
Georgie: Yes.
Henry: You're the dumb bastard that knocked her up?
Georgie: Yes, that's me! Not a robber, dumb bastard!

Missy: Can I change the channel?
George: Well, I'm watching this.
Missy: I miss when you had a real job and were gone more.

Mandy: So, you know how I said I had everything under control?
Georgie: Yeah.
Mandy: Things have changed. I wasn't just short on the power bill. I was also short on the rent, and, uh, now I'm short on a place to live.
Georgie: Oh, okay, well, you're welcome to stay here. Mi garage, su garage.

Mary: [v.o.] Haven't seen you here before.
[fantasy:]
Dusty: Well, I'm just passing through. Tonight, I'm here. Tomorrow, who knows.
Mary: Hmm. Guess we'll have to make the most of tonight, then.
Dusty: I guess so. What do you say... we get out of here?
Mary: What do you have in mind?
Dusty: I don't know. I was thinking maybe we take a walk. You can tell me more about your hopes and dreams. What's going on in here... and all the way down here.
Mary: You really want that?
Dusty: To know who you really are? There's nothing I want more.
[reality:]
Mary: [sighs heavily] Oh, my.

Mary: [v.o.] Chapter one. When Marie stepped into the bar, she knew she looked good. But not in a vulgar way, more for what she didn't show than what she did.
[fantasy:]
[George McCrae's "Rock Your Baby" playing]
Dusty: Well, hello.
Mary: Hi.
Dusty: Dusty.
Mary: That's not a name. That's a poorly kept house. [Dusty chuckles] What's your mother call you?
Dusty: Dustin.
Mary: I like that.
Dusty: And you are?
Mary: Marie.
Dusty: Marie. What are you drinking, Marie?
Mary: A dirty martini.
Dusty: Really? How dirty?
Mary: Very.
Dusty: Hmm.

Mandy: What are you doing here?
Georgie: I was at the grocery store and I picked some things up for you.
Mandy: Thanks, but I can buy my own groceries.
Georgie: I know, but you're eating for two. I thought I should help out.
Mandy: Three kinds of pickles?
Georgie: Everybody knows pregnant ladies like those.
Mandy: Okay, I'm throwing up enough as it is.

Sheldon: So, what's the right answer?
Dr. John Sturgis: That's why we're here, to find that out.
Sheldon: Why don't you just tell us?
Dr. John Sturgis: Why don't you?
Sheldon: I asked you first.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're it, no backsies. [laughs]

Mary: Oh. Mom. Really? Passion's Harvest?
Meemaw: The main character's name is Passion. She's inherited her daddy's farm, and there's a stud in the stable.
Mary: Oh, that's terrible.
Meemaw: Read it, then tell me how terrible it is.
Mary: I'm not reading this trash.
Meemaw: So you're literally judging a book by its cover?
Mary: All right. Fine. I'll give it a look. How come you've dog-eared all these pages?
Meemaw: You'll see.

George: Hang on. Is this some kind of prank?
Sheldon: It's not a prank. I just need help with my homework.
Missy: Did a bully take it from you?
Sheldon: No.
George: Is it real heavy? You need help lifting it?
Sheldon: No, I need your opinion on an ethical dilemma. "Should robots have the same rights as humans?"
Missy: That depends. What's "ethical" mean?
[Sheldon walks away]