Pastor Jeff: Okay, now our next baptism is for Sheldon Lee Cooper, our soon-to-be brother in Christ. And, personally, this is a big get for me.

Mary: You wanted to see me, Pastor?
Pastor Jeff: Cop a squat. Uh, please, have a seat. I just wanted to thank you for all the work you've done preparing for the carnival.
Mary: Anything for the church.
Pastor Jeff: I'm so glad you said that. How would you feel if... we put Sheldon in the dunk tank?
Mary: What? No.
Peg: Aw.
Pastor Jeff: But imagine how much people would pay to dunk him. We'd raise so much money.
Peg: I'm in for $20, easy.
Mary: I'm not having people throw baseballs at my son.
Pastor Jeff: They throw them at a target. He's in a cage.
Mary: No!
Peg: Boo.
Pastor Jeff: Okay. I respect your decision.
Mary: Is that all?
Pastor Jeff: Yes.
Peg: Well, damn.
Pastor Jeff: [to the heavens] I do so much for you.

Mary: [on the phone] Hi, Pastor Jeff. Can you come over right now? I need you to save someone's soul.
[Cut to Mary opening the front door to Pastor Jeff, who is holding his bible:]
Pastor Jeff: Whose soul needs saving? Is it Sheldon? I've been waiting for this.
Mary: No. We're still praying for him. Come in, we don't have much time.

Mary: Well, we disagree. Reverend Travis says that the Lord wants me to be prosperous and I believe him.
Pastor Jeff: This is nothing but a coincidence. You overpaid your taxes, you got a refund, Jesus has nothing to do with it.
Mary: You sound like Sheldon.
Pastor Jeff: I believe I know my way out. [Mary points to the door]

[Adult Sheldon walks through his childhood home:]
Adult Sheldon: Eventually, my mom sold the house. My dad's chair was gone. My spot was gone. [sits down on couch] Where we ate together. But I can still remember it exactly the way it was the day I left for Caltech.
Missy: Hey.
[Young Sheldon turns around to face Missy]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Taking it all in one last time, so I remember it when I'm older.
Missy: You gonna remember me?
Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. I have no choice.
Missy: Ha.

Mary: Are you gonna go, too? I know you don't believe.
Sheldon: I don't. But I believe in you.
Mary: Thank you.

[future:]
Adult Sheldon: I gazed lovingly at her. I thought about how much she had been through and how much this would mean to her and then I said... "Not a chance, lady." Pulitzer.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I thought you were taking a shower.
Adult Sheldon: I thought I was, too, but the muse had other plans. What are you wearing?
Amy Farrah Fowler: It's a hockey jersey. Here, I got you one.
Adult Sheldon: I'm not wearing this silly thing.
Amy Farrah Fowler: When I first met you, you bought all of your shirts from a comic book store.
Adult Sheldon: And I'd still be wearing them if they hadn't mysteriously disappeared.