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Quote from the episode Funeral

Pastor Jeff: And now George's loving wife Mary would like to say a few words. Mary.
Mary: Thank you, Pastor Jeff. Um... [clears throat] I met George in high school. Well, I was in high school. He was an older man with a motorcycle. [light laughter] I'd like to tell you he caught my eye, but actually it was the motorcycle. [laughter] [voice breaking] I'm sorry, I can't... do this. I am... so angry. [sighs] George and I had our ups and downs, but we were finally in such a good place, and then he... left. [crying] He left all of us. I- How could you do that? [Meemaw stands up] I am so mad at him. I'm mad at God, I'm mad at myself for not trying harder while he was here. [Meemaw goes up to Mary] This wasn't supposed to happen. [Mary sobs] [Meemaw hugs Mary] [Georgie hugs a crying Missy]

Quote from the episode Funeral

Georgie: When I quit the football team, I thought my dad was gonna kill me. And then, when I quit high school, I really thought he was gonna kill me. Then, when I got my girlfriend pregnant... I was sure he was gonna kill me. But as you can see, he didn't. No matter what I did, he always had my back. I love you, Dad.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Mary: You really didn't want to take that family portrait, did you? [kisses her hand and places it on George's forehead] See you later.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Mary: Sheldon, they're gonna close the casket. If you want to say goodbye to your dad... [Sheldon shakes his head]

Quote from the episode Funeral

Georgie: [sniffled] You don't need to worry. I've got everything under control. [breathes deeply] Won't let you down, Dad. [sniffles]

Quote from the episode Funeral

Mary: Missy, if you want a minute with Dad before they close the casket, now's the time. [Missy looks unsure] It's okay if you don't.
Mary: I have to. [Missy stands up and walks up to her father's casket]
[flashback:]
George: Here, let me help you with that. Okay.
Missy: [eats] Holy moly.
George: It's good, huh?
Missy: Unbelievable.
George: I'll leave you to it.
Missy: No, sit with me.
George: Okay.
[present:]
Missy: [crying] Thank you for that. Thank you for everything. [sniffles] I love you.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Mr. Givens: How'd you know George?
Brenda Sparks: Next-door neighbor.
Mr. Givens: Oh. So, you knew him well?
Brenda Sparks: A little. How about you?
Mr. Givens: I taught Sheldon science.
Brenda Sparks: Oh, I'm sorry.
Mr. Givens: Thank you.
Brenda Sparks: I'm single.
Mr. Givens: Same.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Meemaw: Aren't y'all sweet to come?
Dr. John Sturgis: Of course. I saw Sheldon the other day. He wouldn't speak to me. Is he okay?
Mary: He's not really talking to anybody.
Dr. Linkletter: We'll keep him company.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'll, uh, try to distract him by telling him the latest news about leptons.
Meemaw: He'll like that. He's crazy about the leptons.
Dr. John Sturgis: Who isn't?

Quote from the episode Funeral

Audrey: Mary. We're so sorry.
Mary: Thank you.
Jim: Well, I didn't know him long, but, uh, I loved that guy.
Georgie: [nods] He felt like y'all were long-lost friends.
Jim: [voice breaking] Oh, here we go.
Mandy: Come on, let's get you some Kleenex.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Meemaw: And listen, if you can't think of anything complimentary to say, just make stuff up. Nobody's gonna call you on it.
Mary: Sheldon will.
Meemaw: Yeah. Sheldon will. [laughs]

Quote from the episode Funeral

Mary: I can't help feeling like something's wrong with me.
Meemaw: What are you talking about?
Mary: [sighs] I know it doesn't make sense, but... I am mad at him for leaving me.
Meemaw: Yeah, I get that.
Mary: You do?
Meemaw: I was mad at your daddy when he passed.
Mary: How did you get over it?
Meemaw: Time. And Dale helps. Don't tell him, please.
Mary: I'm happy you found each other.
Meemaw: You're still young, honey.
Mary: No. [clears throat] That's it for me. I'm done.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Mary: [sighs] I'll have you know that I took a couple of puffs my senior year of high school.
Meemaw: The devil's lettuce?!
Mary: George gave it to me.
Meemaw: I knew he was a bad influence. [chuckles]
Mary: It was the night before he shipped out to Vietnam. And we snuck into my bedroom and we...
you know.
Meemaw: Mary Tucker.
Mary: [laughs] I wanted to make sure he knew what he was fighting for.
Meemaw: See, that's a story you should tell at the service.
Mary: In my church, in front of my children?
Meemaw: It's patriotic.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Mary: How did you get through Dad's funeral?
Meemaw: You're gonna think less of me.
Mary: I won't.
Meemaw: I drank tequila and smoked a marijuana cigarette.
Mary: Oh, Mom.
Meemaw: Don't knock it till you try it.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Meemaw: Anyway, you want to read me what you got?
Mary: [exhales] Uh... [sighs] "George was a good husband, a good father and a good coach."
Meemaw: Keep going.
Mary: No, that's all I got.
Meemaw: Oh. Short and sweet. Leave 'em wanting more.
Mary: I don't know how to do this.
Meemaw: Oh, honey, why would you?

Quote from the episode Funeral

Meemaw: What you doing?
Mary: Trying to write my speech for the funeral.
Meemaw: Mmm. Not easy, is it?
Mary: No. Where's Dale?
Meemaw: Oh, he was wandering around, afraid to sit anywhere, so I sent him home.