Billy Sparks: What's going on?
Missy: What's going on is people are talking about my brother behind my back instead of saying it to my face.
Sheldon: She's talking about Georgie, not me. People talk about me behind my back, but it's about how smart I am.

Mary: Thank you for meeting with me.
Pastor Rob: No problem. I got you coffee. You seemed upset, so, donut holes. Which I love if you don't want them.
Mary: I'm good with coffee.
Pastor Rob: Okay. So, what's going on?
Mary: Well... all the things that I was afraid of are happening. Ever since word got out about Georgie, everyone at my Bible study canceled.
Pastor Rob: Well, first of all, that sucks and I'm sorry. I also can't say I'm surprised. This is the part of religion I don't like.
Mary: I know Georgie made a mistake, but I thought, as Christians, we're supposed to forgive.
Pastor Rob: Well, I'm gonna ask you a tricky question. If this were happening to someone else in the congregation, how would you respond? [Mary sighs and grabs the donut holes] Good choice. That'll help.

Missy: Hey.
George Sr.: Where were you?
Missy: Talking to Georgie.
Mary: He okay?
Missy: We laughed, we cried. It was nice.

George Sr.: How'd Pastor Jeff take it?
Mary: I didn't tell him. I told Pastor Rob.
George Sr.: Of course.
Mary: What's that mean?
George Sr.: Nothing.
Mary: What?
George Sr.: Just seems like you talk to Pastor Rob a lot.
Mary: [scoffs; chuckles] Well, we work together. You talk to Wayne.
George Sr.: Sure. And what did Pastor Rob say?
Mary: Actually, it was helpful. He pointed out that I was putting people before God and that I shouldn't worry about what the congregation thinks.
George Sr.: So, exactly what I said.
Mary: All you said was, "Who cares?"
George Sr.: Next time, I'll stick God in there so you pay attention.

Mary: Hey, what did Wayne say when you told him?
George Sr.: He loves babies, so he was all, "It's a blessing." Blah, blah, blah.
Mary: Well, he's not wrong.
George Sr.: Why am I friends with him? You should be.

Missy: Just wanted to say I'm really sorry.
George Jr.: Forget it.
Missy: You have so much to deal with right now, and I made it worse.
George Jr.: People are gonna find out eventually.
Missy: Do you think you're gonna get married?
George Jr.: It ain't looking good.
Missy: Do you even want to?
George Jr.: Well, I do like her. And I'm trying to do the right thing. Whatever that is.
Missy: Can't believe you're gonna be a dad.
George Jr.: Join the club.
Missy: Is it weird?
George Jr.: M-More terrifying than weird.
Missy: Yeah?
George Jr.: I don't know what I'm doing. What if I mess this kid up?
Missy: You won't.
George Jr.: You sure? I'm a high school dropout living out in his parents' garage. [voice breaking] Mandy's right to not want me around.
Missy: [crying] No, she's not. She'd be lucky to have you. So will the baby.
George Jr.: Don't make me cry more.
Missy: Sorry. That's the last nice thing I'll ever say to you.

George Jr.: So, that's it? Nobody else said anything?
[Mary and George both shake their heads]
George Jr.: Good. 'Cause her parents still don't know, and if this gets out, she's gonna be more pissed than ever.
Mary: Everything's gonna be fine. Let's just eat.
Missy: I... kind of told Heather M. at school. I told her to keep it a secret.
George Jr.: Did you keep it a secret?
Missy: No.
George Jr.: Unbelievable.
Mary: Actually, I told someone at church today.
George Sr.: And I might have told Wayne.
George Jr.: I can't believe y'all.
Sheldon: I know. You'd expect it from me, but from them, it's a shocker.
George Jr.: I ain't hungry. [storms out]

Mary: Let's say grace. Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen.
All: Amen.
Sheldon: I told Dr. Linkletter about Georgie.
George Jr.: Why'd y'all tell Sheldon?
Missy: They didn't. I figured it out.
George Jr.: Great. Now everyone knows.
Mary: Not everyone.
Sheldon: Just us and Dr. Linkletter.

Mary: [chuckles] Well, at this point, it doesn't matter, because she doesn't want to get married.
Pastor Rob: Well, I can talk to her if you want.
Mary: Mm.
Pastor Rob: I'm pretty good with young people.
Mary: She's 29.
Pastor Rob: Also pretty good with people my own age. [Mary chuckles]

Pastor Rob: So, how are you doing with all this?
Mary: Oh. Disappointed. Angry, upset, scared.
Pastor Rob: So all the emotions. Got it.
Mary: And I'm worried that if he doesn't marry this girl, the congregation's gonna turn on me.
Pastor Rob: They might. [exhales] But that's putting man before God.
Mary: What do you mean?
Pastor Rob: Well, you're caring more about what people think than what God thinks.
Mary: I'm not caring more. I just don't have to bump into God at the grocery store.
Pastor Rob: I don't think He does his own shopping.

Sheldon: Now my mom wants them to get married, but it doesn't sound like the girl's willing.
Dr. Linkletter: Why are you still talking to me?
Sheldon: You and I just click.

Mary: Can I tell you something in confidence?
Pastor Rob: Of course.
Mary: Um, my son... ...got a girl pregnant.
Pastor Rob: Whoa. Safe to assume this was a surprise?
Mary: [chuckles] Oh, yeah.
Pastor Rob: And safe to assume it's not Sheldon?
Mary: [laughs] Also yes.

Sheldon: Sorry again for being distracted earlier.
Dr. Linkletter: And I'm so sorry you got locked out. I don't know how that happened.
Sheldon: My brother got a girl pregnant. My mom wanted me to promise I wouldn't tell, but I never did, so technically, I'm not breaking my word.
Dr. Linkletter: I don't care.
Sheldon: Thank you. But it's a secret, so please don't tell anyone.
Dr. Linkletter: Don't you have somewhere to go?
Sheldon: No.

Coach Wilkins: Are you okay?
George Sr.: Oh, jim-dandy.
Coach Wilkins: Is this one of those times where you say you don't want to talk about it, and then you make me go to the bar, and then you talk about it?
George Sr.: No.
Coach Wilkins: All right.
[cut to George and Coach Wilkins at a bar:]
George Sr.: I'm gonna tell you something.
Coach Wilkins: Lay it on me.
George Sr.: This is serious. You can't tell anyone.
Coach Wilkins: Okay.
George Sr.: Georgie got a girl pregnant.
Coach Wilkins: Wow. Oh. Congratulations?
George Sr.: On having a dope for a son? Thanks.
Coach Wilkins: Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but weren't you a similar kind of dope with Mary?
George Sr.: It's different. Georgie's, like, 11 years younger than this girl.
Coach Wilkins: That is different. [to the bartender] We're gonna need a couple shots over here.

Pastor Rob: Knock, knock.
Mary: Oh, hi.
Pastor Rob: Just thought I'd show you how to do it on the first try. [Mary chuckles softly] You all right?
Mary: Um... Yeah. Just, you know, life.
Pastor Rob: Mm. I've heard that can be rough.
Mary: Mm.
Pastor Rob: Well, if you ever want to talk or... grab a smoke, I'm around.
Mary: I'm good, thanks. [chuckles] Although, um... A cigarette doesn't sound bad.
Pastor Rob: I was hoping someone would help me get to the end of this pack.
Mary: Then we're quitting.
Pastor Rob: Absolutely.
Mary: It's a disgusting habit.
Pastor Rob: Filthy.

Dr. Linkletter: What is the angular momentum of the neutron and the proton inside deuterium? [no hands go up] No one? Really? Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes?
Dr. Linkletter: What is the angular momentum of the neutron and the proton inside deuterium?
Sheldon: Oh, um, "L" equals zero.
Dr. Linkletter: Close. You're missing the four percent admixture of "L" equals two.
Sheldon: Sorry. I'm a little distracted.
Dr. Linkletter: It happens. Anyway...
Sheldon: Normally, I would have gotten that right.
Dr. Linkletter: I have no doubt. Anyway...
Sheldon: There are just some things going on at home, and I'm not allowed to talk about it.
Dr. Linkletter: And we don't want to hear about it.
Sheldon: I can tell you no one's sick in case you're concerned.
Dr. Linkletter: Anyone concerned? Show of hands. [no hands go up] No? Moving on.
Sheldon: That's why I got the answer wrong.
Dr. Linkletter: Son, it's just a mistake. Everyone makes them.
Sheldon: [inner monologue] Like my brother Georgie did when he got that girl pregnant. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. [Sheldon's hand shoots up]
Dr. Linkletter: What?
Sheldon: I need to use the restroom.
Dr. Linkletter: This is college. Just go. [Sheldon rushes out] You, red shirt. Lock the door.

Meemaw: She ducking your calls?
George Jr.: Seems like it.
Meemaw: Well, you understand why she might not want to talk to you.
George Jr.: Yes, I know. I'm trying to make up for it.
Meemaw: This might be one of those things you just can't make up for.
George Jr.: Ain't fair.
Meemaw: You better do some growing up fast, 'cause "fair" left the building the second you yanked your pants down.
George Jr.: Thanks for making me feel worse.
Meemaw: Anytime.

Meemaw: Good night, Wade.
Wade: It ain't good. I lost all my money.
Meemaw: Well, good for me.
Wade: Yeah, yeah.

Missy: I'm gonna be an aunt. That's so weird.
Sheldon: Not as weird as Uncle Sheldon.
George Sr.: [chuckles] Yeah, well, we're gonna be grandparents.
Mary: And Meemaw's gonna be a great-grandmother.
Missy: That sounds so old.
George Sr.: Please tell her that.

Mary: The important thing is, is that you both need to keep this quiet. This is family business.
Sheldon: I have to keep a secret? I'm not good at those.
George Sr.: It's not a secret. No one's gonna ask you about it. It's just a thing you don't need to bring up.
Sheldon: But what if I do?
George Sr.: What if you don't?
Sheldon: But now it's all I can think about. What if my mouth loses control?
Mary: You're good at keeping promises, right?
Sheldon: Very. Great.
Mary: Then promise you won't tell anybody.
Sheldon: That's an interesting work-around. However...
Mary: You're not telling anyone.
Sheldon: Fine.