Sheldon: But your idea of a winner-takes-all competition is a good one. We just need to come up with something that is fair to both of us. Ooh. What if we list all the spices in Mom's spice rack alphabetically? I'll go first. Adobo. Black pepper. Cinnamon. Coriander. Cumin.
Missy: We're not playing the spice game.
Sheldon: Dill.
Missy: Urgh!

Mary: Oh, that's nice. You decided to stay home and play a game?
Missy: Nope. We're inventing a new game, and the winner gets to pick what we do today.
Sheldon: We had to find a way to make sure that it's completely fair to both of us.
Missy: So we made a list of 20 challenges that combine stuff we're both good at. Whoever wins each challenge gets to take a block and put it on top of their tower.
Sheldon: Whoever's tower reaches the height of this rocket first wins.
Mary: Okay, I will leave you to it.

Meemaw: So, Dale is fun. Kind of a good old boy. Reminds me a bit of you. He gets on my nerves. So he kind of reminds me of you. And John's not anything like you. He's not anything like anyone. Maybe that's why I keep thinking about him.

Georgie: Mind if I grab a beer?
Dale: I'm not your father.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hold on. This young man's underage.
Dale: So?
Dr. John Sturgis: So the laws of Texas are pretty clear on the subject.
Dale: Oh, what a surprise. There's one more thing you know more about than everybody else.
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know why you're surprised.
Dale: I don't know why you're here.
Georgie: I'm just gonna stick with Dr Pepper.

Dr. John Sturgis: I'm here because my friend George invited me.
Dale: Uh-huh. Well, your friend George invited you because he felt sorry for you.
Dr. John Sturgis: You know, Connie warned me you might behave like this, and she-she was right.
Dale: I don't know why the hell she ever went out with you.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, she did, and we got along famously.
Dale: Until you broke up with her after you got out of...
Dr. John Sturgis: Out of what? Say it!
Dale: Never mind.
George: Damn. Piddled on my shoe. What'd I miss?

Meemaw: So enough about me. How about you? You got your wings yet, or is that just in the movies?
Kenneth: It's a Wonderful Life. That's one of my favorites.
Meemaw: Ah, sorry. I didn't see you. I'll keep it down.
Kenneth: No, it's all right. I, uh talk to my wife all the time. I'm Kenneth. This is Vanessa.
Meemaw: Connie. This is Charlie. I'd introduce them, but they're neighbors. They probably know each other.
Kenneth: Well, if he complains about someone snoring, I'm sure it's her.
Meemaw: I didn't bury him with his hearing aid, so he's fine.

Dale: Let him go, George.
George: You want to tell Connie you lost her old boyfriend in the woods?
Dale: Well, he's a grown man for crying out loud. Let him do what he wants.
Georgie: Well, that's an argument for me having a beer.
George: Shut up.

Dale: Boy, for a little guy, he's fast, ain't he?

Missy: Well, since they get to do something fun, why can't we? Ooh, Chuck E. Cheese.
Sheldon: That place is a nightmare. Something that could be fun is the Museum of-
Missy: No.
Mary: Let him finish.
Missy: We already heard "museum." It's not gonna get better.
Sheldon: The Museum of the American Railroad.
George: Oh, yeah, that's worse.

George: This sure is a sweet setup.
Dale: Well, now, thank you very much.
Georgie: This thing is nicer than our house.
George: It's not nicer than our house.
Dale: Well, don't be too sure now. I got microwave and air-conditioning. I got a stack of old Playboys back there in the bathroom.
George: Okay, maybe.

Dr. John Sturgis: Dale?
Dale: No, I think I know how to fish, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Really? 'Cause it doesn't look like it.
Dale: Well, maybe that's because all your talking is scaring the fish away.
Dr. John Sturgis: Evidence suggests your theory is incorrect.
Dale: Well, evidence suggests I need another beer.