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313 - Contracts, Rules and a Little Bit of Pig Brains

Aired Thursday, January 30, 2020
: Contracts, Rules and a Little Bit of Pig Brains

After George and Georgie agree to go on a camping trip with Meemaw's boyfriend, Dale, things get complicated when Dr. Sturgis is invited along. Meanwhile, Sheldon and Missy compete to determine who should decide what they do with their day.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "Contracts, Rules" refers to the process Sheldon forced upon Missy as they devised a game together. A "little Bit of Pig Brains" refers to the ingredient in Dr. Sturgis's bait.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed in a Spock uniform as a cow approaches the family.
  • On The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon repeated his argument that rock paper scissors has too few outcomes to be useful among people who know eachother. As a result, he adopted the game Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock, developed by Sam Kass, which includes two additional options, similar to Missy's solution. [208, 222, 517; Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock]

Quotes

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon, if your pizza's too hot, put ice on it. That's what I did.

Dale: So, George, how do I convince this one to come fishing with me next weekend?
Meemaw: I told you, nobody's gonna see this face after a night in a tent.
George Sr.: Mm. Smart. You don't want that mug scaring the fish.

Meemaw: You got to remember to hoist your food up into the trees so this one can't get it.
George Sr.: Very funny.
Meemaw: You make fun of my face, I'm gonna have to make fun of your enormous, bear-like body.

Meemaw: [on the phone] Listen, I want to warn you about Dale. He's kind of a guy's guy. Sometimes his sense of humor can be a little mean-spirited. Just don't let it hurt your feelings.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, you don't have to worry about me. We physicists are no strangers to smack talk. I once told Dr. Linkletter he wouldn't know a randomized trial if it crawled up his sphincter.

Missy: Can we just sign it and play?
Sheldon: I've signed my name. Feel free to draw an "X."
Missy: I know how to write my name, Sheldon. Damn it, I wrote "Sheldon."

Featured Music

  • Bad Moon Rising
    Creedence Clearwater Revival

    Bad Moon Rising Playing while Dale, George and Georgie fish and Dr. Sturgis talks about his bait.

  • Anything You Can Do
    Annie Get Your Gun

    Anything You Can Do As Sheldon and Missy compete in the challenges they devised.

Episode Trivia

  • What was the name of Meemaw's late husband?
    • Charlie
    • Stan
    • George
    • Sal
  • Which restaurant did Missy want to go to?
    • Dave & Buster's
    • Chuck E. Cheese
    • ShowBiz Pizza Place
    • Cicis

Episode Recap

As Meemaw and George shout support to Missy at the baseball game, Mary encourages Sheldon to put his book down and watch his sister. Sheldon is unmoved by the game and is instead looking forward to going home. After Missy gets upset as she pitches, Coach Dale goes over to talk to her. Missy is afraid everyone will hate her if she loses the game. Dale tells her to throw the ball over the plate as the kid isn’t going to swing, assuring her she can do this. After Missy throws the ball, the batter tries to swing for the ball and strikes out, causing Dale’s team to win. Missy reminds Dale he said the kid wouldn’t swing, prompting Dale to remark that he lied.

At a pizza restaurant, Sheldon sits with Mary at the adult table with Meemaw and Coach Dale. When Sheldon offers Coach Dale a “fun fact” about pizza, Mary tells him it’s Dale’s first time eating with them and they don’t want to make it his last. After Sheldon questions whether this occasion marks an escalation in their relationship, Meemaw sends Sheldon off to sit at the kids’ table.

When George returns to the adult table, Dale asks how he can get Meemaw to come on a camping trip with him this weekend to Lake Conroe. Meemaw insists nobody is going to see her face after a night in a tent. When George comments that it's a great spot for catfishing, Dale invites George and Georgie to join him for some fishing. George checks with Mary, who is looking forward to a bed to herself, and accepts Dale’s invitation.

At home, George gets a phone call from Dr. Sturgis, asking to confirm the time they’ll be meeting this weekend for beer and socializing. George completely forgot they had plans, explaining he has made last minute arrangements to go camping. After John says he loves camping, George says he would invite John but it’s not really his trip. George admits he’s going with Connie’s boyfriend, Dale. John says it’s not a problem and he will hang out with another friend this weekend; he just needs to make one first.

George phones Dale up to say he’s going to have to bow out this weekend, admitting he forgot he already had plans with a friend. Dale asks if the friend likes camping and suggests bringing him along. When George reveals that his friend in Meemaw’s ex, Dr. Sturgis, Dale says John didn’t strike him as an outdoorsman. After George mentions that John was hinting about coming along, Dale says invite him. If they get stuck in a freak snowstorm, he can be the first one they eat.

As the family eats at the dining room table, Missy asks why she can’t go fishing. Mary says it’s a boy’s weekend, prompting Missy to question why Sheldon isn’t going. Meemaw wonders if Missy can hear herself. Missy says since George and Georgie get to do something fun, why can’t they? Missy suggests going to Chuck E. Cheese, but Sheldon would rather go to the Museum of the American Railroad. After Georgie remarks that camping with Dr. Sturgis no longer sounds so bad, Meemaw is stunned to hear John is going along with them. George ascertains that Dale didn’t mention it, John didn’t mention it, and admits he was never going to mention it, either.

When Meemaw phones John to say she’s heard he’s going camping this weekend with Dale, she warns him that Dale is a guy’s guy whose sense of humor can be a little mean. John insists physicists are no strangers to smack talk. Later, Meemaw phones Dale to tell him not to be a jerk to John. Dale insists he knows how to get along with people, although Meemaw points out knowing how and doing it are two separate things. Dale insists he’ll be nice... to her goofy little friend.

Early in the morning, George and Georgie are ready with their bags when they hear Dale’s horn beep from outside. Before they go, Mary tells Georgie not to let his father drink too many beers and tells George not to let their son drink any beers. In Dale’s RV, George admires the sweet setup, with Georgie remarking it’s nicer than their home. When George spots Dr. Sturgis by the side of the road, Dale questions whether it’s not a garden gnome.

Back home, Sheldon asks Missy how she’d feel if there was somewhere just like Chuck E. Cheese, except instead of pizza and ball pits there were locomotives and placards. Missy realizes he’s just talking about the museum. In the RV, Dale asks John about his outfit, wondering where the merit badges go. When John asks if it’s because he looks like a boy scout, Dale says that is the joke. John says he accepts Dale’s jocular insult as a token of bonding. When Dale tries another joke, George cuts him off. John says  he doesn’t need George to defend him, insisting he can take it and dish it out. After Dale says bring it on, John admits it would help if he knew more about Dale. Was he, by chance, a bedwetter?

At a cemetery, Meemaw talks to her late husband, Charlie, saying it’s been a while but she really needs to talk. She knows he might not want to hear about her dating life, but if he hadn’t died she wouldn’t be in this. Meanwhile, in their bedroom, Missy suggests they watch a movie, while Sheldon proposes visiting the planetarium. Missy thinks they’ll never agree and should settle this with a game of rock paper scissors. Sheldon is against this as anecdotal evidence suggests players familiar with each other will tie 75% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. Missy proposes expanding it to rock paper scissors candy pony, but Sheldon thinks she’s being silly. Sheldon agrees a winner-takes-all competition is a good idea, but they need to find something that is fair to both of them.

Meemaw tells Charlie that she now has two guys in her life. She’s still pissed at him for dying, but she’s not going to sit at home and miss him. She knows he wouldn’t want that. Elsewhere, at the lake, George asks John what he’s using for bait after he catches his third fish. John explains it’s cheese, garlic and pig brains. He gets them from the butcher, albeit with some odd looks. Dale sarcastically comments that he can’t believe John gets odd looks. John tries to undercut the tension between them by offering Dale use of his bait, but he’s not interested.

Mary is pleased to see Sheldon and Missy spending time together, and asks if they decided to stay home and play a game. Missy says they’re inventing a new game, the winner of which will get to decide what they do today. They made a list of twenty challenges they’re both good at. Whoever wins each challenge gets to add another block to their tower, and the person with the tallest tower wins. Later, Sheldon reads the contract he drew up to Missy before asking her to sign it. Meanwhile, at the cemetery, Meemaw tells Charlie that Dale is fun and reminds her a bit of him. John doesn’t remind her of anyone, which may be why she keeps thinking about him.

Back at the campsite, John tells Dale a “fun fact” about log fires in Finland, but Dale isn’t impressed. When Georgie asks if he can have a beer, Dale doesn’t mind, but John points out that he’s underage and the laws of Texas are quite clear on that. Dale is annoyed that there’s another thing John knows more about than everyone else. When Dale questions why John is there, he says he was invited by his friend George. Dale claims George only invited John because he felt sorry for him. After John mentions that Connie warned him Dale might be like this, Dale says he can’t see why Meemaw ever went out with him. After John says she did go out with him and they got along swimmingly, Dale says until he broke up with her after he got out of… and stops himself. John wants him to say it, but Dale shrugs and says never mind.

As Meemaw asks Charlie a question about whether he’s “got his wings yet”, a man at the cemetery mentions that It’s a Wonderful Life is one of his favorite movies. Back home, Sheldon and Missy have moved onto one of their challenges: Each player alternates naming a state while hula-hooping and the first who can’t name a state loses. When they play the round, Sheldon’s hula-hoop falls right to the ground, so Missy wins despite only knowing Texas. They go on to play a series of challenges.

That night at the campsite, George and Georgie remark on how much they enjoyed the catfish as Dale and John are awkwardly silent. When John says he’s no longer enjoying the outing and is going home, George tells him they’re in the middle of nowhere so he can’t just leave. Dale wants to let him go, but George insists he do the right thing and tell John to stay. As Dale reluctantly does so, they turn around to see John’s already gone.

After Missy puts the final Jenga block on her tower, she declares victory. When Missy calls her mom to say they’re going to Chuck E. Cheese, Mary says they’re not going anywhere as it’s almost their bedtime. Missy says all that matters is she’s the winner. Adult Sheldon says actually he was the winner as they spent the whole day doing things he loves: drafting contracts, arguing about the rules and, most importantly, never leaving the house.

After Missy begs Sheldon to do it one more time, they play a game of Rock paper scissors candy pony. When Sheldon picks rock and trips Missy’s pony, Missy wonders how he keeps winning. Sheldon points out she keeps picking pony. Elsewhere, John enjoys some GORP as he rides a bus home.

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