Georgie: You know what your problem is? You don't like anything you didn't think of yourself.
Meemaw: Is that so?
Georgie: Yeah.
Meemaw: Well, I thought of bringing you in, and that wasn't a good idea.
Georgie: If that's how you feel, then we got nothing more to talk about.
Meemaw: I guess not.
Georgie: Well, okay. [awkward silence]
Meemaw: You can go now.
Georgie: My chicken fingers ain't here yet.

June: Whoa, and the '70s are back. All we need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms, and it's Studio 54.
Georgie: I don't know what any of that means, but all right.
June: So, I guess your meemaw came over on our side.
Georgie: No. She pissed me off, so now she gets a disco ball.
June: I don't want to get caught in the middle of a family squabble.
Georgie: Oh, don't worry, she'll know it was me.
June: Then I love it.
Georgie: Now, what's a Bee Gee?
June: It's a brother singing band. They did all the music for Saturday Night Fever.
Georgie: What's Saturday Night Fever?
June: Damn, I'm old.

George: Your mother and I are worried that your friends at school might be taking advantage of you.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
George: [sighs] They might not be using it in the... the spirit that you intended.
Sheldon: How are they using it?
George: Mary?
Mary: [sighs] We're worried that those couples are not going there to study...
Sheldon: But that's why I'm lending them the room.
Mary: And that is why we are concerned.
Sheldon: Are you saying they're using it as a goof-off room?
George: Yes. [stammers] That's exactly what we're saying.
Sheldon: Well, let's drive over there right now and catch them in the act.
Mary: No!
George: Let's just let them finish... goofing off tonight, and we'll put a stop to it tomorrow.
Sheldon: Well, thank you for telling me.
Mary: We thought that you should know. [both exit]
Sheldon: Mm. [to himself] Those dirty goof-offs.

George: So those are the Clampetts, and they moved from the backwoods to Beverly Hills.
Missy: Oh, in 90210 the Walshes moved from Minnesota.
George: They have a hard time fitting in with those California snobs?
Missy: Oh, yeah.
George: These guys do, too.
Missy: It's practically the same show.

[When President Hagemeyer walks in to her office, she is surprised to see Sheldon seated at her desk facing away from the door. Hagemeyer tries to turn around and walk out]
Sheldon: I smell your perfume.
President Hagemeyer: So, what, pray tell, is today's problem?
Sheldon: I have a four-hour gap in my schedule.
President Hagemeyer: How is that a problem?
Sheldon: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it's a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.
President Hagemeyer: Fine, go hang out in the cafeteria.
Sheldon: I don't "hang."
President Hagemeyer: Go to the library.
Sheldon: Too noisy.
President Hagemeyer: Take a nap. Kids love those.
Sheldon: In a public place? I'm sorry, is this Woodstock?

Missy: Wait, he has a room here and at school?
George: Well, it's just for downtime in between classes.
Missy: [sighs] Why is his life constantly better than mine?
Sheldon: That's a question you should get used to asking.
Mary: Don't be rude. And you have a very nice life.
Missy: Yeah, yeah, loving parents, blah, blah, blah.

George: Hey, you better appreciate what you got. There's a lot of kids out there who have way less than you.
Missy: I guess.
George: You have your own room. I never had that growing up. And then I was in the barracks, and then I married your mother.
Missy: Dang. [chuckles]
George: Yeah. Tell me about it.
Mary: What happened to appreciating what you have?
George: Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

June: Whoo-hoo! [laughing] [machine dinging]
Meemaw: Sounds like you're doing okay down here.
June: Oh, I'm doing better than okay. I hit big.
Georgie: Whoa. $11,000?
Meemaw: That can't be right.
June: Well, I see two ones and three zeroes. Last time I checked, that's 11,000.

Meemaw: How did this happen?
June: I got three bananas, and it asked me if I wanted to parlay, and I said, "Well, that sounds like fun," so I hit that button, and I went, "Whoo-hoo!" 'cause I won.
Meemaw: [laughs] This has got to be a glitch. Go get a manual and-and-and look up "glitch."
Georgie: We have a manual?
Meemaw: Just find one.

Georgie: Found the manual.
Meemaw: Great. [looks at manual] This is for the washing machines.
Georgie: I'll be back.

Meemaw: So, Georgie found the manual and figured out what the problem was.
June: I know the problem. I cleaned you out.
Meemaw: Because when these machines get unplugged, they reset at the highest possible payout.
June: Wow, sounds like your problem.
Meemaw: Well... I don't have $11,000.
June: I understand.
Meemaw: Thank you.
June: So, what are you gonna do about it?
Meemaw: Well, obviously, lunch is on me.
June: Oh, wow. The whole lunch? Even the little frilly toothpicks?
Meemaw: What do you want me to do?
June: Make me a partner.
Meemaw: What? No. I already brought Georgie in, I have to pay the police off, I can't have another hand in the till.
June: Sounds like your problem again.

Georgie: Well, is she a partner forever or just until she gets her money back?
Meemaw: I don't know.
Georgie: Seems like an important question to ask.
Meemaw: Well, I didn't ask it.
Georgie: All this yelling can't be good for your blood pressure.
Meemaw: You're right. I think I'm just gonna step outside and have a cigarette.
Georgie: Smoking ain't any better.
Meemaw: Good. Perhaps the end is near.

Bobby: Hey. Did I just hear you say you have a dorm room you're letting people use?
Sheldon: Yes. I'm letting Sam use it to study.
Bobby: You think there's any chance my girlfriend and I could use it sometime?
Sheldon: You two study together?
Bobby: We'd like to. It's been a while.
Sheldon: Well, I use it during the day, so it's only available at night.
Bobby: Nights work for us.
Sheldon: Then it's all yours.
Bobby: [chuckles] Thanks, man.
Sheldon: And how does this make you feel about me? More positive, less positive, or neutral?
Bobby: Really, really positive.
Sheldon: Great. Tell a friend.
Bobby: All right.
Sheldon: I might have to draw up a schedule.

Meemaw: What the hell is all this?
Georgie: June brought in twinkle lights.
Meemaw: Oh, did she?
Georgie: I thought it might make things a little more festive.
Meemaw: Looks like Christmas in jail.
June: [laughs] I actually have a really good story about that.
Meemaw: Take it down.
June: Maybe when you're in a better mood.

Wade: I think it's pretty.
Meemaw: Nobody asked you, Wade.
June: We may need to have a chat about customer service.
Meemaw: We're gonna have a chat about a lot of things, starting with how come you're redecorating without even asking me.
June: I'm a partner.
Meemaw: A silent partner.
June: Hey, I can help here.
Georgie: She's got some good ideas.
Meemaw: So, you're on her side now?
Georgie: A good idea's a good idea, who cares where it comes from.
June: Thank you. And I like your idea about putting a dartboard in the corner.
Meemaw: Oh. So, this is how it's gonna be? Fine. When Wade here takes a dart to the head, don't come crying to me.
Wade: I don't want a dart in the head.