June: Whoa, and the '70s are back. All we need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms, and it's Studio 54.
George Jr.: I don't know what any of that means, but all right.
June: So, I guess your meemaw came over on our side.
George Jr.: No. She pissed me off, so now she gets a disco ball.
June: I don't want to get caught in the middle of a family squabble.
George Jr.: Oh, don't worry, she'll know it was me.
June: Then I love it.
George Jr.: Now, what's a Bee Gee?
June: It's a brother singing band. They did all the music for Saturday Night Fever.
George Jr.: What's Saturday Night Fever?
June: Damn, I'm old.

June: Hey, y'all.
Meemaw: Hey, June. Glad you finally came down.
June: This is so fun, sneaking in through the back alley. [chuckles] Y'all should get a secret knock.
George Jr.: 'Cause secrets are fun, right?
June: Absolutely.
George Jr.: [to Meemaw] Told you.
Meemaw: Go do your job.
June: So, how's this all work?
Meemaw: You play, you lose, you go home smelling like cigarettes.
June: You just described my love life. [Meemaw laughs]

Meemaw: I'm sorry, I'm just not comfortable with it.
June: You think I am? Last time he saw me naked, gravity was on my side.
Meemaw: Then why'd you ask him to do it?
June: Who else am I gonna ask, Connie?
Meemaw: You got tons of friends.
June: I've got acquaintances, I've got clients. Those aren't exactly people you want looking at your hernia scar.
Meemaw: And Dale is?
June: I got that hernia by dragging him onto the bed one night he came in passed-out drunk. Look, I'm sorry if I crossed the line, but you have nothing to worry about.
Meemaw: Okay.
June: Look, I promise, next time, I'll get the kid who mows my lawn to come over and hose me off in the backyard.
Meemaw: Call me. I'd be happy to hose you off in the backyard.

Meemaw: What the hell is all this?
George Jr.: June brought in twinkle lights.
Meemaw: Oh, did she?
George Jr.: I thought it might make things a little more festive.
Meemaw: Looks like Christmas in jail.
June: [laughs] I actually have a really good story about that.
Meemaw: Take it down.
June: Maybe when you're in a better mood.

Sam: This is so unfair. You get so much more than every other student.
Sheldon: Fair isn't everyone getting the same thing. Fair is everyone getting what they deserve.
Sam: Sheldon, that arrogant attitude is why no one sits with you in class or lunch or ever.
Sheldon: Well, I like to think that they're maintaining a respectful distance out of deference to my intellect.
Sam: No. That's not what they're doing. They're avoiding you because you're an entitled brat who thinks that you're better than everybody else.
Sheldon: So, I should just pretend I'm less intelligent than I am?
Sam: You should realize that there are more important things in life than how smart you are.
Sheldon: Well, I'm also cute as a button, but it seems shallow to say it. [an exasperated Sam walks away] You could say it.

Dr. John Sturgis: You see, humans have evolved as social animals, so your feeling hurt might be a deep evolutionary desire to cooperate with others to ensure your survival.
Sheldon: So, you're saying it makes sociobiological sense to want other people to like me?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, and you may even get benefits from it. It's like on that show you enjoy, Star Track.
Sheldon: Trek.
Dr. John Sturgis: Right. Captain Kirk can't do it all by himself. He needs Doctor Spock.
Sheldon: Mister.
Dr. John Sturgis: Right. And Mister McCoy.
Sheldon: Doctor.
Dr. John Sturgis: Right.
Sheldon: Well, technically, they were his subordinate officers, but Kirk did always deal with them in a friendly manner, so I take your point.
Dr. John Sturgis: Good man.
Sheldon: I suppose I could treat it like an experiment. Run an analysis of the benefits of having people like me.
Dr. John Sturgis: That sounds like an idea the Captain, the Doctor, or the Mister would be proud of.
Sheldon: Excellent.
Dr. John Sturgis: You know, you'd think a smart fella like Spock would have a doctorate.
Sheldon: Actually, Spock rejected an offer from the Vulcan Science Academy in order to attend Starfleet.
Dr. John Sturgis: Huh. Not the choice I would have made, but I'm happy for him.

President Hagemeyer: Here we are.
Sheldon: [chuckles] What is this?
President Hagemeyer: A dorm room, and it's all yours. You can study, take naps, do whatever you want.
Sheldon: No one's living here?
President Hagemeyer: Well, we had an Indian exchange student, but he developed a taste for barbecue, so his parents made him go home.
Sheldon: Well, thank you for this.
President Hagemeyer: You're welcome.
Sheldon: It's like I always say, never underestimate the power of complaining.
Adult Sheldon: I've been testing that theory for decades, still works like gangbusters.